What happens after a relational offense?
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In addition to following Brene Brown through her words and imitating her ways, I practice this thing I call reciprocity. Reciprocity is nothing more than a phrase that reminds me of core principles that I hope to live by in the heat of my own freak out moments. For example. I get an email which explains to me how I hate Jesus and clearly know nothing about spiritual transformation. I feel automatically defensive, irritated and worried - Is she right? I mean, she could be. This is what happens to anyone who dares to put themselves out there in the world. There will ALWAYS be folks who criticize. And since Brene admits that she used to listen to her critics (even though it is a bad idea and she tries not to do so now), I can certainly follow suit: it is hard for me not to doubt myself when others are telling me I should. Vulnerability teaches me that I can acknowledge that I am tempted to give criticism from strangers sway in my sense of self-worth. There. I said it.
It isn’t enough for me anymore to know this about myself without developing some skills to change my response. How about you? Are you ready to change some aspects of yourself that do not serve you well?
Tomorrow we are going to talk about a skill I practice to help me weather criticism in a way that is constructive.