Overcoming character defects takes practice
Recovery is a lot like working out. It builds muscles that are relational, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. My gym mentor likes to remind me of a training principle she calls - “What the heck?”. I’ve never been able to do a pull-up my entire life. Last week I managed 3. What the heck? I had not been practicing pull-ups because I did not believe it was possible for me to ever succeed at doing one. However, I have been faithfully doing the exercises my mentor prescribed for me to do several times a week. These are not marathon workouts. I’m talking twenty minutes a session, three sessions a week. I don’t break out in excessive sweat or groan and moan like a cow in labor as I practice. The routines are challenging but not intimidating.
Evidently, they are also effective. When she asked me to hop up on a stool and grab a bar above my head, I thought she was going to let me hang there and decompress my back. Instead, she challenged me to try a pull-up. What. The. Heck. I could do them!
All the steps, but particularly Step Six, is an awful lot like going to the gym, putting in the time, and one day - “What the heck?” - happens. You change. Maybe at first this change is minimal, even discouraging. But if you continue stepping, over time willingness increases and so does capacity to live differently.
I did not lie to my husband about my rug purchase. I also did not purchase a rug that exceeded our budget. We had no conflict and I had no need for shame or guilt. I didn’t even register the story as a big deal until I was working on this project. Suddenly I thought, “What the heck?” The old me would have lied; the not quite as long ago me would have not lied but it would have been a struggle to do the next right thing. What the heck? When did honesty become my go-to practice? I could not tell you. It’s mysterious. It’s a God thing.
It took a long time. There were many backslides and face plants along the way. But at some point my readiness invited God to change me. And he did.
