Responsiblity

I am fascinated by all that the Bible has to teach us that rarely gets a mention. To be fair, not a lot of people sit around talking about the Bible from a spirit of open-hearted curiosity. They may use it to make a point by quoting a passage that they feel supports their position, but rare is the opportunity for curiosity about the scriptures, and I am sad about that.

The stories in the Bible offer incredible opportunities for curiosity. And relevance. How is it that a book so old, which such complicated origins, maintains such mystery and richness of both human connection and spiritual direction? I do not know, but I certainly found my own curiosity this week in the middle of a contentious meeting and could not help but think about the scriptures as the tensions rose and the outcome was uncertain.

I witnessed a beautiful interchange between two individuals, both felt wounded by the other. Not unusual on face value, but what was incredible was the way they hung in together through a very honest, frank, and potentially hurtful conversation. They made it completely through to resolution. All parties involved, and there was an entire group affected, walked away feeling as if something sacred had been exchanged among them.

As they worked through it, I could not stop thinking about Cain and Abel, two brothers who entered into conflict with only one walking out alive. Cain, angry that God had rejected his offering while accepting his brother Abel's offering, kills his brother in frustration. Even though God is coaching Cain, providing him opportunities to see a different perspective, to take responsibility FOR his anger, rather than projecting it onto his relationship with his brother Abel - Cain still chooses to stubbornly hold onto his point of view.

My friends chose a different path. They chose to process the story each had made up about the other. In so doing, both realized that they were more alike than different. One was struggling with feeling cared for, the other feared abandonment. Sure, the argument presented as being about a text sent and not responded to. And if all they had talked about was who made more connections and how those connections were made - text, call, personal visit, or singing telegraphs, they would have been no different than Cain. But they didn't do that. They did what God gave Cain the opportunity to do - they dug deep. They listened to each other. They took responsibility FOR their own part in the conflict.

Cain said he was mad about his rejected offering. On face value, we could agree that his inadequate offering was a problem; if he had just chosen better tomatoes God would have approved of it and Abel could have kept on shepherding? The other identified problem was Cain's anger. If he had just controlled his emotions, this story wouldn't even be in the scriptures. Maybe. But what I recognized in the story was a young man who was unsure about his acceptance and place in the world. He had stories in his head about whose fault this was and who was to blame. Friends, that is low hanging fruit. There is ALWAYS someone to blame because we are all messing up constantly. I see more here. It makes me curious.

Here is what I wonder. What if there was enough safety and security, love and patience, that we could deal with the tough truths? I wonder if we could say, "Cain, God was trying to get you to attend to something about yourself."

Cain's disposition had nothing to do with Abel, or bruised peaches. Cain could not, for whatever reason, show up for that conversation with God. And many, many, many days I cannot show up for that conversation either. It is easier to be irritated and blame my husband for my feelings. It is hard to acknowledge that the issue is not the issue. Especially if I feel justified in my indignation.

My youngest son has a post-punk band and he writes lots of songs. One of my favorites has a lyric that goes like this, "The ground cries out to you....the ground cries out to you...." a reference, of course, to Abel's spilt blood.

I believe that the ground continues to call out to us. I could hear it in my meeting this week. Pay attention, God is working on our behalf, we have a tremendous opportunity to take responsibility FOR ourselves, because we are NOT in a competition. We are well loved. Scrutinizing ourself will not end poorly, even if we feel all the feelings about what we see. But the ground continues to cry out, reminding us that peace is something we are more likely to talk about than pursue. The ground may bear witness to the error of Cain, but the Spirit of God bears witness to his care for us and his desire for us to trust His process. And that makes all the difference. It's ok to be wrong, to be hurt, to say all the things and allow God's Spirit to work toward grace, mercy, and reconciliation.