The God who accommodates us
I am not a big fan of Santa being weaponized to manipulate children into behaving beyond their developmental capacities. This coal in the stocking thing? The naughty and nice list? It's beneath us. We as adults can do better than that for our children. I often heard this same tone from my grandparents' pastor - I even have childish scribbles in my children's bible that says this, "Adam and Eve got kicked out of the garden by God and now they have to fight by themselves."
Was I a bad scribe? Or is this what I was taught? Because it matters. It matters what we think about God's perspective on naughtiness. Another example. I know a young woman who is a decade sober from a meth addiction. We were talking last week about her perspective on recovery and she said to me, "I really try not to think about that time in my life - It is so shameful to me." And she's sad about this, in fact, she's sad most of the time - all the while, she is living an awesome life. She's successful and smart and funny and beautiful inside and out. But she believes that she has been kicked out of God's garden because of her "poor choices" in her twenties.
She may be living well, but it is a constant act of penance because in her way of seeing God, she will always be on the naughty list. So let's unpack this theological perspective and see where it might land us. And her.
Genesis 3:23-24 NIV "SO the Lord banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken. After that he drove the man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life."
Did God abandon Adam and Eve? Or are they merely receiving consequences for their actions and got themselves kicked out? Or is there more going on here...
The problem with Santa and his list, in my opinion, is alot like using the story of Adam and Eve to manipulate people to behave better. It's not helpful. And it is not in keeping with the story of God - who for whatever crazy reason - decided to make mankind a collaborator on his vision to build his kingdom. His story is not about getting people to comply, it is about inspiring people to follow him because of who HE is. He does not need to control through fear because His story is about relating in love. it is unfortunate that so many times we humans pervert God's story as a shortcut to God's ultimate goal - healing, restoration and reconstruction.
If we could take off the filters that have been placed over our eyes by folks who do not understand this - including each one of us - because let's face it, this is hard to comprehend - a God who could rule with an iron fist instead choosing to lead with love - if we could take off those filters of blame and shame and manipulation - what would we see? It's all there, in plain sight.
Adam and Eve feel shame and realize they are naked... and what does God do? lecture them? No, he makes clothing for them to cover themselves. he meets them where they are and with what they need in that moment. He doesn't say - "You SHOULD feel ashamed! You naughty children!' He says instead, "Here, wear this. Are you more comfortable now?" Genesis 3:21 reads, ”The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them." Does this sound like a God who kicks out his kids?
Now, right after that, we return to that verse I started off with Genesis 3:23-24. But does God abandon them? No - he goes with them. When Eve gives birth, God is right there, "With the help of the Lord..." and when Adam and Eve have those typical parenting problems with sibling rivalry - God is right there. And when mankind runs amok, God is right there. in Genesis 8, "But God remembered Noah and all the wild animals and the livestock that were with im in the ark, and he sent a wind over the earth, and the waters receded." And when mankind had a universal language - God scattered them. But he scattered too.
When I hear the story of my friend who believes that she will spend her whole life paying the price for her addiction, my heart weeps with her. Because the God I read about in the bible is way wiser and better resourced than Santa. He does not need to manipulate people by fear to comply - scriptures do not support that interpretation.
I ask her to imagine what it was like to be God, who neither leaves us nor forsakes us. I ask her to consider what it was like for God to see her neglected, abused, raped by her own father at the age of 8, living in poverty, hungry and afraid every day of her life and I ask her: do you think this God, who knows the whole of your life story, judges you for using whatever means where available to you as a young person to numb your pain? Would you judge your own children for that? Or would you work to provide resources for healing, like you also ultimately received, and used with all your might to heal?
I think it is time to put our childish views of God aside, and take up the mantle of responsibility for doing our part to offer others second, third and fourth chances. To see the big picture. To understand that people's choices make sense if we have the big picture. That no one needs to live with the weight of their badness for forever. Including you.
