Forgiveness is as Forgiveness does

Forgiveness is one of the more complex topics we try to cover at NSC. We all agree on some aspects of forgiveness, like:

• It's important

• It's difficult

• It's a process

And surely we'd agree on plenty more. One of the things I hear the most, and something I certainly heard a lot of on Sunday, is that we can be quite tortured both by our desire to receive forgiveness and our desire to give forgiveness. I heard several people agonize over their inability to forgive people they deeply want to forgive. This speaks to the challenge we face. Forgiveness, ultimately, does not seem to be 100% within our control. Otherwise, if we wanted to do it, we would. But...there are frequently times where we'd like to and just...can't. As a result we often find ourselves trapped in shame. We hear those voices saying, "If you were a good Christian," or, "If you were a good person," or, "If you were actually faithful," you'd just forgive them.

I don't particularly believe that our faith or our goodness (or whatever else we might use to fill in the blanks with) is at stake when it comes to our forgiveness. The passage below is probably going to seem like it contradicts me, but I think if we dig in a little you might see where I'm coming from.

36 Be compassionate just as your Father is compassionate.37 “Don’t judge, and you won’t be judged. Don’t condemn, and you won’t be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good portion—packed down, firmly shaken, and overflowing—will fall into your lap. The portion you give will determine the portion you receive in return.”

Luke 6:36-38, CEB

For your own reflection:

• What resonates with you in these words?

• What challenges you in these words?

Let me just be clear about my opinions here. I don't think this is about earning favor. I don't think it's about a quid pro quo (wherein you ONLY get forgiven if you forgive others). Granted, it certainly reads that way at first glance. But I think this is a case where it's important not to be overly literal in how we read. We know, based on lots of readings in other places, that faith is not based on some system of quid pro quo's. So let's look past the "if this, then that" type of formula we see here and try to see the big picture, or the spirit of this passage.

I think the spirit of this passage is about recognizing that our attitudes towards others are important. They are not, of course, the sole determining factor of our standing before God. But they do matter. How treat other people matters to God.

It may also help if we didn't think of this in black and white terms. It's less important that we figure out how to be compassionate to every single person we've resented (no matter what they've done) than it is to consider what it looks like to be a compassionate person in general. We're all going to make mistakes and have moments where we aren't as gracious as we'd like to be. The question is more like, "Are you prioritizing this?" Knowing full well we're not always going to get it right.

And, perhaps even more significant, it would be helpful to realize that there are several paths to forgiveness. Confession, for instance, is one possible path. It's okay to confess, as an example, that you're struggling to forgive. Or that you can't forgive. But here we find another possible path to forgiveness- a path where the more open we are to others- the more compassionate and accepting we are to others, the more likely we are to receive compassion.

On the whole what I hear in these words is this: The more forgiving and compassionate you are, the better off you'll be. It's up to you to figure out where to go with that. But I believe what we're being told is that the more forgiving and compassionate you are, the better off you'll be.

Forgiveness is hard. There are times where it seems like it's never going to happen...and then suddenly out of the blue it does. Sometimes it seems like it's never going to happen...and then we just still find ourselves sitting around waiting and hoping that forgiveness will one day find us. In either case, we're going to be okay. God has offered multiple paths to forgiveness. And, at the same time, He's offered us a call: take the forgiveness, mercy, and compassion you've received and try to find ways to pass it on...when you can, where you can. If you can. When that happens, we'll all be better off.