Realistic Hope Creates More Hope
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." How many of you have repeated this verse from Philippians 4:13 over and over again during a particularly grueling moment in your life? I have.
I remember when my mother-in-law, Marion, was in the hospital dealing with gall stones. Her mother was in a nursing home; Pete and I were the ones who got the call that Bessie had passed away. We scrambled to secure a babysitter and drove to St. Mary's Hospital to tell Marion of her mother's passing. We rode the weird escalator/moving sidewalk up the to elevator bank, dreading every minute of the ordeal. We strategized how to tell her. Maybe, Pete suggested, we should tell her that Gram (Bessie) is on the roof.
Have you heard the joke about the cat on the roof? Here goes...A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he returned, he called his brother to see when he could pick up the cat. The brother hesitated, then said, "I'm so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died." The man was very upset and yelled, "You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. When I called, you could have said he was on the roof and wouldn't come down. Then when I called the next day, you could have said he had fallen off and the vet was patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you could have said he had passed away." The brother thought about it and apologized. "So how's Mom?" asked the man asked his brother. The Response? "She's on the roof and won't come down."
As we exited the elevator and headed to Marion's room, I muttered, "If we don't want to go with the cat on the roof bit, just remember: We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us." And we did. Whether it was Christ strengthening us or we simply managed to deliver sad news, who is to say. But we took care of what had to be taken care of that evening, and the days that followed.
I imagine that many of us have used this verse during moments of crisis. I'm not sure it should be pulled out of the Bible like a magic rabbit's foot. In fact, I think there is a more hopeful way to consider Paul's words, maybe with a bit more faith and less magical thinking.
In Brene Brown's latest book, Atlas of the Heart, she defines hope in a way that reminds me of what I have come to believe Paul was really getting at when he wrote the book of Philippians. Paul was not talking about having magical super powers to do super hard things because Christ gives all his disciples super powers (that would be confusing faithfulness with a Marvel comic character). My understanding is that what Paul was alluding to is that our belief in Jesus provides us with a different way of thinking and seeing - and that this perspective is hopeful.
Let me bottom line this: hope is a super power of faith, not steroid-induced strength to do hard things beyond a human's capacity. I find this exceedingly hopeful. Jesus is not equipping us to do EVERYTHING. He's not asking me to do SPECIAL THINGS. He's pointing a way for me to see as he sees, and live as one who loves as God loves.
Brene does what researchers do and breaks hope down for us in a way that not only makes sense in light of the scriptures, but provides us with a very practical way to apply the, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," perspective of Paul.
On page 97 of her book, Brene says that hope is a way of thinking. And, emotions play a part, but it is far bigger than just rubbing a rabbit's foot and hoping God is not distracted when you need to do a hard thing. She reports that hope is: the ability to set realistic goals, the capacity to figure out how to achieve those goals and flexibility for altering the plan as necessary when obstacles arise. Finally, she says that we must have a belief in ourselves. Isn't this what Paul had? He believed he could do "all things" because he trusted that God would equip and strengthen him. He was not talking about leaping over a tall building. In fact, Paul made this statement within the context of thanking his friends for showing up and helping him during a time of duress.
Here's what you might want to consider:
1. What burdens and expectations have you been living under because you, like me, once misunderstood the context of Paul's words?
2. What realistic goals do you need to set today because you trust that God is with you, and for you?
3. Who could help you strategize about how to achieve those goals?
4. Who will support you and remind you to pivot, be flexible and keep working towards your goals?
5. How can you remind yourself, every day, that God believes in humans - and that this includes you?
Because God believes in the capacity of humans to be "enough," surely we are a people who can join him in this hopeful belief. Of course, adversity will be involved - because this is not a fairy tale. But the adversity and discomfort will also allow us to pivot and flex - which actually builds hope!
I cannot think of a more positive faith message right now than this one - hope is not fuzzy. Hope is not magical thinking. Hope is an inspired way of seeing that leads to concrete actions that reinforce God's trust in us. So let's get busy! I looked - there are no cats on the roof. We can choose hope today.
