Following God’s Path of Love

“The fact that someone else loves you doesn’t rescue you from the project of loving yourself.”

Sahaj Kohli

Almost 60 days into a new year and I wonder how you are feeling about all the hopes and dreams you considered as 2020 wrapped up and a new year was born. Is the news still distracting you from your work? Have you gotten a bit complacent as the winter has settled in and we have been lulled into less activity by the short days and cold temperatures?

Consider this if you need a bit of incentive to rise up and get to work on following God’s path of love.

“The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for your relationship with your child, your spouse, your parents, your friends - every relationship you have. Invest in yourself so you can invest in them.”

Erica Layne

Relinquishing Control

“Today I will not stress out about things I can’t control.”

In Matthew 4, Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. He was offered the American dream - power, prestige, and wealth. Jesus turned it down in favor of following God’s far less glamorous path for his life.

Jesus rejected the opportunity to control his destiny in favor of following his Father. And then he set out to find a group of people who would follow him.

The allure of power, prestige and wealth is enticing, many have fallen for its allure.

Jesus, God and man, chose a different path.

Do you ever wonder what we knew that we do not?

Today, maybe it is enough for us to simply recognize all the things we cannot control. Sit with this thought. See what else is true if we choose to tell the truth about how little control we actually have in our lives.

Finding Joy in Every Day

“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.”

Mary Jean Irion

We ask our grandkids about their day anytime we have the chance. I ask Norah about preschool and she says, “It makes me nervous.” I inquire further and she talks about the train table and outdoor time on the playground and the fun blocks in her class. She loves her teacher and her friends.

Christian tells me who can beat him in a foot race, which is upsetting and has spurred him to create a 4 point plan (1. Sleep well to get strong, 2. Eat a good breakfast to stay strong, 3. Wear his best running shoes and 4. Hope that kid leaves the school.). Maybe he will tell me what Tristen brought for “show and share”. He even told me once that he loved Bruno Mars “Uptown [Funk It Up]” - his understanding of the song’s title. (When did we move off of “Wheels on the Bus”?)

If I wait long enough, both of them move beyond their nerves and disappointments onto a further description of their day. I hope they, and we, never get stuck on the easy part - the part of our day where it is all too easy to notice what’s missing.

May you find the best part of your day today. And if you break out in a dance party? I hear Bruno Mars will get you moving and grooving. Me? I gotta go with Pharrell’s “Happy” song!

Have You Had Enough?

“Sometimes you have to realize that you’ve HAD enough to realize that you ARE enough.”

Mandy Hale

Learning to love ourselves is not simply getting better at giving ourselves a pat on the head and a snuggly hug. Love is a verb. Love. Love yourself. This can be quite challenging. When am I loving myself versus when am I acting selfishly? Am I loving myself or being self-indulgent? What about when it feels like my world is falling apart - how do I love myself when I am afraid I am the one whose hands are causing the destruction?

I find this spacious middle ground where I can wait for something to shift in my understanding and gain discernment when I remember that it is God’s way to improve things. Psalm 130 teaches us just that. It allows for the reality that God is up to something important and although he is super patient (usually good news for us) with a timeline that does not always align with our preferences, we as his followers can trust this is true. Whether or not we align ourselves with his intentions is our choice. But as we make these choices to follow or not, it might help to remember that this is GOD we’re talking about.

God, for whatever reason, has chosen mere mortals to participate in his work. This is our choice. It does not necessarily make life easier; in fact, I find it quite challenging. But I consider the other options and return to Him over and over again.

One of the best preachers I ever heard was James Pardue. He pastored our church faithfully and well for many years when Pete and I were raising our young children. He was a gifted teacher and spiritual guide of enormous integrity. I remember him telling me a story about a young person asking him if he was sure God existed. And, God bless him, he told the truth. He replied that he was not sure of much of anything. BUT, he added, it seemed to him that from the best he could tell, if God was real, he was headed in the right direction and he, Jim Pardue, thought it best to follow.

I could not believe his candor. He had doubts! But as best he could tell, God’s intentions were for good and not evil. He concluded with a quote I wrote in my bible and offer to you now, “I have decided that I prefer the life of a follower than the life of a salmon.”

This quiet, committed man knew he did not want to spend his life swimming against the current of God’s love, grace and mercy. Sometimes, we wake up and realize that we have been swimming against the tide of God’s love, grace and mercy for all.

Have you had enough? Are you ready to accept that you are enough? You are inherently worthy and flawed, fully human, chosen by God to improve the world in the way that suits the nature of God.

Making Time to Play

“It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.”

Brene Brown

Before spending a few minutes blogging I zoomed with a young woman who is terribly certain of who she is and what she wants out of life. She is driven and ambitious. She is hitting her “targets” and taking no prisoners. She is checking off the boxes and I can only guess that her family must be very proud and probably a bit intimidated by her. She is living the American dream. And she is miserable.

Almost a year into the pandemic, she is beginning to question herself. This is new and quite scary for her. I suggested she take some accrued vacation time and find sanctuary. We talked about what that might look like, and she could barely stand the idea long enough to hold up her end of the conversation.

Finally, she said - “What if everything I thought I wanted in life was someone else’s idea?”

Great question.

So, in solidarity with my melting down friend, I’d suggest we all take some time to consider whose dream we are living. This will need to include rest and play more than another self-help book or redoubled efforts at the current favorite spiritual practice blowing over the religious landscape.

Yesterday Pete and I went walking in the snow. Baby, it was cold outside. But the snow crunched under our boots and our skin tingled with the fresh air. My heart soaked in the silence that only a snowfall can bring to our suburb. Afterwards, I spent several hours working on a puzzle of tea cups. It’s 1,000 little pieces consisting of shards of various bright colors sneakily repeated through the picture and devilishly creative shapes were challenging. I focused hard and then upped my game. I worked in silence in front of a warm cozy fire. I talked to no one and replied to zero texts.

Finally, my eyes worn out and squinting, I went to bed.

In the middle of the night I was startled awake by a solution to a problem that I had been noodling over for 6 weeks. I grabbed a pen and wrote it down in a notebook that I keep in my bedside drawer for situations like this. This morning the solution seems as plausible and well-formed as it did in the darkest part of the night.

Listen, I do not think our obsession with success is going anywhere in this country. We can rail about what we’re missing with this singular focus or we can work with it. Want to succeed? Then rest. Want to feel like your life was worth living? Play. Maybe as we rest and play we will find new ways of being in a world that values what we do sometimes to the exclusion of what our actions cause us to become.