Jesus Died so That We Would Have More Wheat

"The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Those who love their life will lose it, while those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life."

John 12:23-24 NIV

I will never communicate this with the clarity of Barbara Brown Taylor through her sermon "Unless a Grain Falls" in her book Teaching Sermons on Pain, but here goes....

When I was a little girl, my grandparents' very southern Baptist preacher drilled into my head that it was my fault Jesus died. That's a lot for a seven year old to handle. But according to him, Jesus had to die because my sins needed to be atoned for. This made sense to me, because the previous fall my mother had taken me and my three younger brothers to Kmart to buy school supplies. While there I found the most beautiful jewel-toned pen. It was the kind that came with ink cartridges and had an amazing silver tip. I begged my mother for this pen. I promised all sorts of acts of service to earn the money for this pen. She said no. I stole it.

My life as a thief was short-lived because it did not net me decent results. You see, this pen was so perfect, so magical, so....charming, that one of the kids at school stole it from me. I told the teacher and she couldn't figure out who was telling the truth. So she told me to have my mother write a note and offer proof that this was my pen. The other kid, it seems, was innocent until proven guilty. The problem was, I could not acquire said note unless I confessed my own thieving ways - and no way could I do that! The following summer when I heard the preacher wax on about how I had killed Jesus, the guilt and shame was overwhelming. It replaced my bitterness at losing my precious pen to the class bully. Suddenly, the pen felt like a sword I had unintentionally used to carve up God's son.

But according to Taylor, who got her information from John, "Jesus died to fill the world with wheat, with so many sons and daughters of God that no one would ever want for read again. Only in order to do that, the seed had to be planted. It had to die, or it would never grow." (p. 64, Teaching Sermons on Pain)

Jesus had a choice. He could have given into temptation and ridden the wave of popularity. A few more resurrections like he pulled off with Lazarus and Jesus would have been set for life. But it would not have been enough to sustain God's message so that it would reach us and renew us in 2021. Jesus' choice taught us that death is not the end nor is the worst thing that could happen to a person. Jesus taught us that suffering is not something we should (or could) avoid. Jesus narrated his own death story in such a way as to prove to us that God is not mad at us nor is he still demanding live sacrifices to please his hungry, thirsty quest for self-satisfaction. (As if God needs us to give him stuff!)

Jesus was never moved off his trajectory - to love his father and do his will. Jesus showed us that suffering can be endured and redeemed. Jesus invited us to follow him and offer whatever we have to give - the smallest seed - to God, to see what he might do with it.

I am so curious - what would suffering within the context of following God's call mean for you?