Positive Faith & Sin Part V

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3:23-24, NIV

If you’re behind on these posts, click here to visit the whole blog so you can get caught up. Otherwise you might get lost. We wouldn’t want that now, would we?

Yesterday we talked about the fact that, in faith circles, it’s common to think that it’s really important to be confrontational with people about their sin patterns. We know from research done in the substance use field, however, that being confrontation with people about their foibles is more likely to make people defensive rather than contrite and deferential.

This is important information for pastors (in my opinion) and I think it should shape how we pastor. And, I should say, I wish I had known this when I began my journey as a pastor- I would have been a better one.

What I know belief is that it isn’t confrontation that helps us grow into people of God- it’s acceptance. In this case- I’m talking about the experience of being accepted by others (and by God). Being accepted allows us to feel safe and, when we feel safe, we don’t need to be defensive and we can tolerate conversations about areas where we would like to see growth and change.

This is actually the very logic of Romans 1-3 which people quite frequently get completely backwards. Here’s a rough summary:

• We all fall short of the person we’d like to be

• Therefore we have no right to judge each other

• God accepts all

• Therefore, we shouldn’t condemn each other

This section of scripture is probably responsible for more spiritual abuse than any other (I can think of a couple close competitors but we’re not going for statistical accuracy here). And yet, it’s because we miss the point.

God does accept us as we are. He draws us into his family. He offers us the opportunity to shape our lives in the pattern of his love.

That’s pretty good. And, pretty different from what we often experience.

Positive Faith and Sin

The dreaded “s” word. I can remember being in seminary and having conversations with others about wanting to present faith in a more positive light- only to have them quickly dismiss it and accuse me of being “soft” on sin. Being “soft” on sin was their way of saying, “You’re not taking it seriously enough.”

Now, I would say I take it very seriously. I would also say most people I know take their own sin very seriously. I do not believe the problem, when talking about positive faith and sin, is an issue of seriousness. I believe it’s an issue of what’s the most *helpful* way to address sin that actually *helps* people live out their certain way of seeing. Yes, I used the word help twice in one sentence, and this is because I believe how we handle sin in community is a matter of helpfulness.

What is going to produce lives that more fully reflect God’s love?

I’ve got plenty to say on the topic but, in short, I’ll say this: I don’t believe shame and condemnation brings the best out of people. When we don’t bring the best out of people, we’re unlikely to see people at their best (obvious). When we don’t see people at their best, we’re unlikely to see the depths of God’s love that they have to offer the world around them. And that’s what I’m interested in seeing: God’s love springing forth in each of your lives, radically and uncontrollably.

Family and Faith

In a very public Father's Day letter published in the New York Times Anna Quindlen once wrote, "We might as well have a universal support group: Adult Children of Parents." The gist of the letter was a bit of a commentary on the challenge every child faces: to wake up to the reality that they are individuals, not extensions of their parental units. Most of us do not have to hate our family to differentiate ourselves from them. But sometimes our families do hate us when we try.

Jesus knew this. In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus speaks of the gut-wrenching work of choosing for ourselves who we want to become. He compares and contrasts those who follow Jesus and those who don't - including a controversial passage that says that if we love our families more than Jesus we are unworthy. I suspect that Jesus and Anna Quindlen were making similar points. All families are complex webs of interconnection. From the smallest details (Duke's or Hellmann's?) to larger issues like politics, our family beliefs, customs and idiosyncratic ways are engrained in us. This is not a good versus bad thing; it is a complicated dance toward maturity and choosing for ourselves how we want to create the next generation of 'family.'

Following Jesus was a sure fire way to get you scratched from the holiday party back in the day. This idea of 'hating' your mother and father was not Jesus' idea; it was the reality for anyone who chose to follow Jesus at that time. Today, we understand this, right? How many families do you know that have survived unscathed their voting records in 2016 or their various positions on the Black Lives Matter movement?

Jesus is not trying to break people up. What he is saying is this: love me best. And, if that is true, then he promises us this: no matter the ups and downs of our relationships and life as a result of choosing him - whatever we lose for his sake, God will breathe new life into. We will lose if we love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength because it will require us to jettison old habitual ways of believing, thinking and being. People won't like that. But God will love us and continue to breathe on our dry, dead bones.

Betrayal

What comes to your mind when you think of Judas? Traitor - right? He betrayed Jesus for 30 silver coins. What else do you know about him? He was not mentally ill, that we know of, nor did he secretly bear a grudge and insatiable desire for insurrection.

He was a friend of Jesus. A friend. An intimate. A confidante. He was the guy who held the money for Jesus' ministry team. He was at the wedding in Cana and saw Jesus turn water into wine; he say the miracle of the feeding of the 5,000. He watched the blind healed and Lazarus raised from the dead. He let Jesus wash his feet. He was a good guy. And no one would have guessed that this is the guy who would betray Jesus.

Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss but it was not long before everyone else tucked tail and ran too. Jesus had far more to fear from his team than he did from outsiders. Outsiders were an expected threat.

Judas was the guy who most wanted Jesus to lead with a sword. When it became clear that Jesus was not going to lead through traditional means - intimidation and force - surely Judas himself felt as if Jesus had betrayed him!

And how does Jesus respond? He feeds Judas; he washes his feet; Judas is never excluded from the circle. Jesus knew who the betrayer was but he also was clear on who He was - the guy who loses to win. He is the guy who feeds the hungry and gives water to the thirsty. Jesus loved Judas even when Judas could not love him back. Even our betrayal is not enough to crush the love of God.

Glimpses of God’s Love

“And the time comes one morning when you wake up and find that you have become irrevocably what you were preparing all this time to be.”

Katherine Anne Porter

I do not know if this is true for others, but for me, the older I get the more my life makes sense. I understand myself a bit more and can give myself a tiny dose of compassion and empathy around the choices I made that are, perhaps, regrettable.

Although I do not know if it is true, I feel the hands of God on my timeline. I sense his presence and even intervention. Rarely was this apparent in real time.

As I age I think less about what I might mess up and more about what I will miss if I fail to pay attention. I feel far less pressure to perform because I have lost all confidence in my ability to control.

There is peace in this. My prayer for us -

God, help us to believe in your presence even when we cannot feel it. Help us to trust in you even when we do not understand you. Give us glimpses of your love for us so that we might carry on with courage.

Amen