Becoming a Trustworthy Listener

“One of the most powerful truths we can offer our children is the knowledge that we’re ALL still learning. None of us have arrived; we all have room to grow.”
Erica Layne

During pandemic stress management I have done a TON of cleaning up. During one frenzied afternoon I found a stack of old journals. Evidently, I have been more faithful at journaling and praying than I realized! One journal included a list of things I did NOT want to do when I was old. I’m pretty sure when I wrote this list I thought that would be 40.

Now that I am legitimately almost old enough to qualify for the covid vaccine I thought a review of the list was in order. I stopped cleaning and started reading. Here’s my number 1 thing I DID NOT want to happen:

#1 - Never, never ever start to believe, much less say, that I feel like the “kids” today are not respectful enough of their elders. I’m kind of sensitive when “older” folks complain about the younger generation. Why? Because this happens every stinking time one generation gives way to the next! I do not know WHY as we age we tend to grow loose-lipped about our disdain for youth. Early onset dementia, perhaps? Have we forgotten that our generation was assailed as being the WORST. D*^& long haired hippies. Sex crazy maniacs. Draft dodgers…..as I recall, it was a pretty long list. The adjectives have shifted a bit, but this still continues today.

I’m reminded of John 4 when Jesus makes a side trip to Samaria (a place people usually rerouted their gps to avoid) to have a conversation with a young woman who I suspect the elders in the village did not approve of. Jesus teaches us (and her) through the course of a conversation that he knows every single thing about her - even the stuff she wishes no one knew. As a result of this conversation and her subsequent actions, many Samaritans came to believe that Jesus was God’s son. She is the first person Jesus revealed his true identity. He was trustworthy with her secrets; he trusted her with knowing him fully. It’s a fantastic story on so many levels.

This urge we have to be superior - whether it is older, wiser, smarter, more successful, faster, etc., - it does not serve us well. Jesus had every right to pull rank and teach, lecture, instruct, that young woman. What did he do? He entered into a conversation with her. If you read the text carefully, I believe you will find that he initially did two things: 1. Prove that he knew her at the deepest level and 2. invited her to get to know him in that same way. Her receptivity allowed him to proceed to the third: invite her to participate with him in the coming of the kingdom of God.

I wonder if we could be imitators of Christ in this way, listen to one another, learn to trust others with our shame story, learn how to be trustworthy hearing the shame stories of others, could we become part of the solution?