Do. Evaluate. Redo. Reevaluate.

I was not created to be a motivational speaker if by that we mean someone who motivates and inspires. I think this is because my core values and inspiring motivational moments are at odds. This has actually been hard for me to accept because I'm the sort who actually prefers success to failure. I like to win. Ask my husband, he will tell you. I care about winning whether we are playing cards or pickleball. When our son tells us that maybe at our advanced age we should transfer our considerable efforts to play tennis over to the pickle ball court, what did we do? We started taking tennis lessons. And, yes, we also play pickleball. Just not the day before a lesson - it totally does a number on your tennis form.

After decades in the recovery world, I have learned from my recovery heroes that success, inspiration, motivation - those things are all fleeting. They are not long haulers. And what I love about knowing this, is that I notice what is left behind. When all that runs out what's left?

Do the next right thing, no matter how small. Forget success, inspiration and motivation. It's fun when it's there - enjoy it while you've got it - but plan for when it leaves because they are all fickle.

To trick my brain that is hardwired for panting after success, I've chosen to embrace action as an indicator of success. My brain is learning to accept what I actually believe is true based on my experience - our whole life is one giant experiment. Progress is only made when we make choices, take action, notice what happens, refine the plan and do the next thing that makes the most sense.

I'm pretty energized with this way of living. My goal is do something and notice, not do something and achieve a particular outcome. The DOING is the winning.

I have a friend who has needed to reset herself this summer and she is doing a bang up job. It started with cleaning her room. She bucked and resisted and planned and procrastinated until one day, we decided: she was going to clean her room starting right....now. And she would not stop until it was done. If she didn't know where to put something, unless it was a live human or beloved pet or a family heirloom - just throw it away. This certainly was incentive enough to find a place for everything she loves! I could gush on and on about how her life is morphing right before my eyes since she cleaned her room but I will wait to post about her when she runs for President in a decade or so.

Do. Evaluate. Redo. Reevaluate. Keep going. What dream do you have that needs to start with a thorough room cleaning? Let's go and get it done!

Even During Quarantine...

To forget the world’s abundance, even briefly and in a moment of spiritual penury, is to lose one’s toehold on the ladder.

Robert M. Cotes and E.B.White, New Yorker, November 20, 1952.

During our moment in history, the one NO ONE ever wished for, Pete and I have chosen to embrace the principles embedded in The Serenity Prayer. We are accepting what we cannot change and changing the things we can. We have shut off our television. Instead of sitting around longing for missed sporting events and every single bit of information about COVID-19, we have chosen to embrace our freedom from tv. Our schedule sounds like something you post on a dating app! Long walks at sunset, sitting by a cozy fire with hot cocoa, staring deeply into each other eyes with accusatory glares during competitive games of all sorts.

We are choosing to look for the abundance, not from a perspective of positivity - because that would require the two of us to both get lobotomies! What we can and choose to do is look for what is real, now, today, that is an expression of abundance. We have seen an owl sitting in the middle of the road. I swear we have had time to see every leaf burst forth on our trees this year. Every Spring I promise myself - this year, this year I will see the leaves burst forth in all their glory. Every year, until this one, my head has been down, looking at my feet as I run toward some duty - whether real or imagined, who can say? More mundane but still abundant - we are amazed at what you can order online and have it show up on your doorstep….eventually.

We have marveled at the number of friends and family who have checked on us. We have thanked God for the hospital staff who allowed my sister-in-law access to her baby sister during her final hours of life on planet earth. We have marveled at the capacity for creative problem solving all around us. So much abundance!

It is possible to see the abundance and acknowledge the suffering. This is that grand both/and that we have been learning at NSC. Who knew it would serve us so well during an unprecedented pandemic! (Yes. I know. I know who. Just checking to see if you are paying attention!!)