Complete the Stress Cycle…

I often think about what it was like for my grandparents to live during the Great Depression. I understand that we are all feeling the stress of the pandemic, and it is bad, but what about living through a pandemic or war without air conditioning, reliable transportation, the internet, television, or access to food or a paycheck? That must have been brutal. My grandparents considered themselves lucky. Embedded in large families on both sides, among them they figured it out. My grandfather had a paycheck, his cousins had farms. He could give them money and they could supply him with food. Someone usually had some means of transportation for the clan, and they would ferry and barter and deliver goods among them. They survived.

Lately, I've been wondering if in the long run, they might be better off than many of us will be post pandemic because of the way they handled their stressors: they were able to complete their stress cycle. They had a need, they figured out who could meet it, they found ways to return the favor.

During the pandemic of 2020, 2021, etc., can we say the same? Does our stress cycle ever end? We are fighting about different political viewpoints but we are not leaning in and collectively serving one another - even if we disagree. This is not universally true. My friends Carolyn and Linda have put their nursing skills into good use and vaccinated the unvaccinated. My doctor tries to help me make sense of all the conflicting reports about best medical practices for living in a pandemic. My neighbor promised me that if we ran out of toilet paper, her stash was so large that she would share with me if needed. But as a collective, I do NOT think we are completing our stress cycles as the waves of stressors roll over us. We are not being as careful with our relationships as I think the situation warrants. We are escalating rather than de-escalating our stress.

I bet you wonder what a stress cycle is and how you might complete it. Stay tuned. We'll figure it out!

Using Your Influence

"Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm."

Winston Churchill

According to Churchill, I am killing it. I have NEVER felt as much enthusiasm for life as I do today. In the middle of a pandemic, a time of political unrest, with grandchildren growing up so fast that I've started thinking about college options and really great trade schools, not everyone would find it in their heart to latch onto enthusiasm.

Soooo, what's my secret?

My people - those who have been influential in my life in a million big and small ways. Although their influence has not turned me into a person the world would consider successful, that's ok. My candle is kindled in my heart and my soul sings. This has been a long and winding journey that included a recent protracted depression. (I personally think if the past few years have not caused you to rethink life, maybe you're not paying attention.)

I've been ruminating with gratitude on how I got here, back to the place where I have reasonable amounts of peace and joy. What's happened to me? And why would you care? I suppose because I do believe Rumi and I think all of us want to find a life of meaning and purpose - whether or not success is part of the plan. And maybe you, like me, has struggled of late to figure out if enthusiasm is even possible.

I believe that all of us have an opportunity to influence our world in some positive way, co-workers with God in slowly, laboriously, sometimes almost imperceptibly, inching the kingdom of God toward his vision for his people. What I needed, and have gratefully received as of late, is vocabulary for how true influence works. At my darkest moments, I need someone to influence me - to help pull me out from the confusion and lost sense of meaning that depression steals from us. In a world that prefers success, it is difficult to find help, so I want to share the various ways people showed up to help me. My prayer is that you might find yourself in these descriptions or recognize the helpers in your life. Tomorrow, we begin!

Slow, Steady Improvement

It never occurred to me that tennis lessons could actually improve my game...at my advanced stage of living. I thought I was doing the best I could by willingly taking to the hot courts several times a week and flailing away at the ball. It's not like I was sitting at home in my rocker watching Jeopardy! (Not that this is a problem if others do rock and watch!)

I had grown content to win a game or two off of Pete per set and tamp down my natural inclination to compete for a win. I thought this was me being mature. But it turns out, I was wrong.

What I missed, by a lot, was this amazing concept called tennis fundamentals. After a few weeks of feedback, tips, drills and regular practice - my game has improved. My backhand is solid, my forehand is actually worse, and my serve is more inconsistent. This is progress.

It means, I am told, that I am trying new techniques that will eventually pay dividends. I can already see the truth of this; although my serve is less consistent, when it does land in the right box it has some spin on it and I can even exert some control over placement.

Tennis is no big deal but the capacity for humility - assuming there are answers out there and someone can help me - is huge. I am applying this to other areas of my life too. It turns out, in virtually any area of my life, there is someone else out in this wild world of ours who can coach, mentor and guide me. People like to help!

And I love it. I love it so much. It brings me joy to lean into learning and change.

What areas of your life have you given up on changing? Not so fast? Maybe you, like me, just need a little help from your friends! Who can you reach out to?

Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths.

Psalms 25:4 NIV