Who Are You Gonna Be?

One of the issues folks often have with Jesus' teaching to "turn the other cheek" is the fear that this phrase means, "Keep taking it on the chin." Healthy people do not keep taking abuse or disrespect. They move away from that kind of behavior and move toward people who can treat them with dignity, respect and positive regard. So what do we do if we have "turned the other cheek" and realize that we do indeed have two different perspectives.

Do I have to let others decide for me what I think in order to follow Jesus? No, that would mean I am being passive. Should I decide for others? No, that would mean I am too aggressive. Should I find a sneaky way to prevent others from deciding for themselves? No, that is passive-aggressive behavior and it really annoys people, fyi.

So what do we do? We learn how to speak in statements consistent with our beliefs. This is learning how to be assertive. For years I wanted to pursue some professional development work, but I was not assertive about it. I mentioned the option to folks, I prevaricated about pulling the trigger on applying to the program, I made a lot of excuses for NOT doing what I really, really wanted to try. I doubted my ability to be a good wife, Meme, mom and pastor if I tried this new thing. Then we had a pandemic.

My children taught me early on in the pandemic process that I am old. They held meetings among themselves and then reported back their concerns about the welfare of their father and me. They urged compliance - and spelled out how that might look. They even were willing to express in a lovely, vulnerable way, their long held experiences of us - that sometimes we made choices to be present for others without always taking into account the impact it had on our family. They were quite clear. And Pete and I respected that and I think did a good job of responding to their wishes.

But it made me think. What would I regret doing if I died tomorrow? What did I regret doing that in hindsight, I wish I had done differently? I decided two things: 1. I would regret not pursuing a subject I was passionate about and 2. I regret making some of the decisions I have made over the years that I thought were following Jesus - but really were not.

So I said, "I want to pursue this new thing." And everyone said, "Ok. Cool. Whatever." No one batted an eye. I told Pete how much it would cost and he said, "Where do I send the check?"

So here is my post-pandemic-almost inspirational thought for you: What statements about yourself do you need to assert? What do you need to simply state and execute - stop fretting over, stop waiting for permission, stop wondering about the cost. What is it that you will absolutely regret if you do not get moving forward - today?