Gratitude

Closing out August with a ton of gratitude. Apologies for all those who I am missing....

While I was lazing around enjoying my vacation, our friends Gala and Carolyn responded to a request for volunteers willing to do some painting at NSC. They did a bang up job and I am extremely extremely grateful. I cannot wait to see how great the new space looks!

It would have been a mistake not to ask for help...but that would have been my inclination. I'm so glad Scott thought to ask! I'm grateful for his willingness to ASK! I am grateful for being on Scott's team NSC - and the fact that he lets me play with my granddaughter Norah!

My friend Debi generously steps up and facilitates Wednesday night women's group when I cannot be there - everyone enjoys her gifted leadership and I receive the gift of not having to find a strong internet connection every time I leave town. Thanks Debi, for my vacation!

We have a team that is working on writing grants to help fund some new adventures at NSC. Thanks to this team and all their hard work to help NSC do its thing.

For Tim and Debi and Anne and others who regularly post on the NSC Community Group page words of encouragement - we hear you and we appreciate you!

Thanks to Jessie and Linda and Anne and others in supporting the work of NSC in ways both large and small - it is all important and it all matters.

To Steve and Brian we give thanks for our return to NSC...to the beat of your wonderful music.

Thanks to Denise and the partners and speakers who allow our Thursday night Friends and Family Education Program to keep bringing support and education to families seeking recovery for those they love. To Walt and

Emily and their commitment to SMART Recovery - we are so grateful!

Our board - we thank you for continuing to help us dream!

And for all you wonderfully supportive Enneagrammers who are helping me learn a new way of servicing - thank you thank you thank you.

For all of you who have hosted and/or attended our Saturday night gatherings - what fun you are to hang with - thank you for sharing yourselves and making Saturday night something to anticipate with pleasure!

As always...a huge shout out to all of you wonderful souls who keep showing up, even when it is inconvenient and NOT your preference. God bless you and yours!

Romancing Our Call

Kate Bowler wrote in the afterward of the book Accidental Pastor, "We devote ourselves to the grand cause of joining God in bringing heaven to earth but mostly we find ourselves doing paper work and trying to find better parking. We want to feel called but we are asked to simply act like it."

We humans are stuck with the incredible contradiction between our high hopes for deep meaning and trapped in the mundane moments of everyday life. I think it's time to acknowledge this and stop trying to wriggle out of the contradiction. It is a noble thing to be a faithful person who keeps trying to believe that God was in the midst of all that.

The weather turned warm for a millisecond last weekend and I took my two grandchildren to the park to meet up with our NSC walking buddies - a new tradition since the pandemic. I knew I could not ask two toddlers to keep up with our crowd but I did want to show up for the party. They headed off on their walk, the kids and I did what we do - Meme toting three backpacks while the two kids alternately ran like the wind and got stuck picking up "treasures" to take to their parental units as signs of their undying love. After our picnic and further exploration it was time to head back to the bathrooms (oh potty training). This took almost as much time as the picnic and "mission" - which the kids call any activity they do with me.

They discussed how to not make the potty flush but once (too loud!); they debated paper towels versus air machine to dry their hands (too loud! but oops no paper towels!). They commented on who had what body part. Finally. We were ready to leave. Just outside the bathroom these two managed to find a dusty, dirty, grassless patch. In unison they yelled, "Bear claws!" and bent down and raked their damp to almost wet hands (too loud so only one burst of hot air for hand drying!) in the dirt. Oh boy. There is absolutely nothing romantic about being a Meme on a solo mission with two little kids prone to whims of fancy.

And yet, it is my call and I love it. I love it because I was once a mommy wrangling three kids prone to whims of fancy of their own. I've learned that the sacred shows up in weird places, dirty and inconvenient times when you are tired and bedraggled and you have to REMEMBER your call because your body is crying for a nap.

Don't miss your call while you seek some whimsical fantasy about what you think calling should look or feel like. It's loud and dirty and grimy and sometimes has claws. But it is also beautiful and sweet and perfect and would be an endless sorrow to miss.

Finding Balance

“Balance isn’t fitting everything in. It’s starting with what’s important and letting the rest fall as it will.”

Erica Layne

I do not know why I am so tired and worn out today. I woke up tired. But I got my workout in and my quiet time practiced without slumping into a nap. In a few minutes, I might need a nap and that will be A-OK, but first - the important things. I sat for a while and then went into the kitchen and prepped for dinner. At a minimum, Pete can heat these foods up and we can eat tonight.

Last night I had big plans for today. Cleaning and organizing and writing and reading. Maybe tomorrow.

I am considering how I feel about my day. I am tempted to feel cranky and impatient with the piles of laundry to fold and, to be honest, a bigger pile of dirty laundry to wash. But fortunately, I am considering. And I’ve decided that I’m going to appreciate that I completed what I have done today and thankful that maybe tomorrow I can get a couple more things accomplished.

I’m grateful that balancing is not fitting everything in. I am committed to doing what I can manage. If your day is shaping up full of vim, vigor and vitality I am so happy for you. But if not, I hope you will find one important thing today to attend to - it may be a good nap!

Finding Joy in Every Day

“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.”

Mary Jean Irion

We ask our grandkids about their day anytime we have the chance. I ask Norah about preschool and she says, “It makes me nervous.” I inquire further and she talks about the train table and outdoor time on the playground and the fun blocks in her class. She loves her teacher and her friends.

Christian tells me who can beat him in a foot race, which is upsetting and has spurred him to create a 4 point plan (1. Sleep well to get strong, 2. Eat a good breakfast to stay strong, 3. Wear his best running shoes and 4. Hope that kid leaves the school.). Maybe he will tell me what Tristen brought for “show and share”. He even told me once that he loved Bruno Mars “Uptown [Funk It Up]” - his understanding of the song’s title. (When did we move off of “Wheels on the Bus”?)

If I wait long enough, both of them move beyond their nerves and disappointments onto a further description of their day. I hope they, and we, never get stuck on the easy part - the part of our day where it is all too easy to notice what’s missing.

May you find the best part of your day today. And if you break out in a dance party? I hear Bruno Mars will get you moving and grooving. Me? I gotta go with Pharrell’s “Happy” song!

Why Congratulate Someone for Doing What They're Supposed to Do?

I have lived with this attitude for a long time. If someone is doing what they’re supposed to then they shouldn’t be rewarded. People should be rewarded for going above and beyond...not for meeting some recommended minimum...right???

As someone who does not receive affirmation well, the above mentality makes sense to me. But it’s not a super helpful way to think. People are motivated in different ways by different things. Some people will go above and beyond naturally. Some people will naturally coast. Some people will naturally underperform, so to speak. But, regardless, each of these people needs affirmation to keep going over the long haul.

If you want someone to keep doing a behavior that you appreciate, then affirm them. That sends a clear, strong signal that they are headed in a helpful direction.

For example, say you appreciate it when a friend checks in on you via text. Let them know that you appreciate it. If they know that what they’ve done means something to you then they are likely to repeat it. They repeat it because the affirmation lets them now that they are being helpful and people like knowing what to do in order to be helpful.

If we refuse to affirm people because they’re doing what they should be doing...then maybe consider that you should be affirming. [See what I did there? :-) ]

Don’t let any foul words come out of your mouth. Only say what is helpful when it is needed for building up the community so that it benefits those who hear what you say.

Ephesians 4:29