Too Much Attention to Detail!?

"To be content means that you realize you contain what you seek."

Alan Cohen

Dr. Spock was a Star Trek super hero, know for his lack of emotionality and his vast capacity to hold vast stores of data and information between his two pointy ears. Since he was a movie character, this did not hold him back from being an influential part of the Star Trek team. But for the rest of us mere mortals, it is important to not only have expertise, it is also necessary to engage others and make relational connections. Influential people leverage their personal relationships. They pay attention not only to the data, but to the people to whom the data applies.

Could this be you? Are you sometimes too much in the weeds of the details and fail to notice the people in your life who may need your attention?

A Person Who Pays Attention…

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Maya Angelou

Who remembers how you like your coffee? Who reminds you of the best parts of yourself? Maybe someone whose super power includes the amazing capacity to notice what we need and the willingness to meet it! These folks bring warmth into a room; they prioritize relationships. At their best, these folks improve every party and ALWAYS bring dessert.

Influencers in my life with these qualities have helped me see the value of paying attention to people - not just what they say, but what they do not say.

Could this be you? Can you think of others in your life who have this capacity and inspire you?

A Family, A Team, A Group...

"Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value."

Albert Einstein

Every family, team, group or office needs someone to care about quality control. Although Winston Churchill defines success as maintaining enthusiasm through one failure after another, influencers who care enough to ask for quality results give their teams a prayer of succeeding. These folks are logical, can be clear and direct, model responsibility ALWAYS, and lead with integrity.

I have several influencers in my life who continue to inspire me with their attention to doing the next right thing, even when it is hard.

Could this be you? Can you think of others in your life who have this capacity and inspire you?

It’s Your Journey

For a month’s worth of posts, I (Scott) am critiquing my own past blog posts. I’m viewing this as an experiment in being willing to admit when I’m wrong, change my mind, and to do so publicly.

How do we stop trying to regain control in such destructive ways?

The past few days we've talked about attentiveness and the ways in which this helps us trace our reactions to their source.  This is the beginning of the process of learning to respond to triggers as opposed to reacting to them.  

A similar-sounding, though quite distinct, skill involves remaining alert.  What do I mean by this?  

What I've been describing this month, so far, is a "deep track" of recovery work.  It's not an area we address early on.  It's something that comes later in the process as we gain some stability.  Stability, for all its merits, creates problems.  It affords us the opportunity to relax, to settle in, and to breathe.  We need this.  But if we stretch this too far we become disengaged and complacent.  

Remaining alert means refusing to believe that, "we have arrived," that "we have gotten somewhere," or that "we have progressed."  At the very least, we refuse to believe that we have progressed to the point where we no longer need to actively pursue our recovery.  

Over time, we actively pursue new areas and skill sets, but we don't stop the pursuit.  Remaining alert means that we can acknowledge progress as long as we acknowledge that we must continue the work.  

Future Scott on Past Scott:

We will likely, over the course of time, have periods of high stress and periods of lower stress. And I do agree that it’s important to take advantage of the times in life when our stress is lower. This is a good time to do some brainstorming about the life we want to live because we are not backed into a corner and we feel we have more options and more opportunities for being creative in terms of how we continue to create our lives. 

I think I like thinking of life in this way: It’s always something we’re creating. We’re never done creating it. We’re always moving, always journeying, always heading somewhere, and rarely in the same direction. 

What direction do you want to travel in, today, right now?

Finding Balance

“Balance isn’t fitting everything in. It’s starting with what’s important and letting the rest fall as it will.”

Erica Layne

I do not know why I am so tired and worn out today. I woke up tired. But I got my workout in and my quiet time practiced without slumping into a nap. In a few minutes, I might need a nap and that will be A-OK, but first - the important things. I sat for a while and then went into the kitchen and prepped for dinner. At a minimum, Pete can heat these foods up and we can eat tonight.

Last night I had big plans for today. Cleaning and organizing and writing and reading. Maybe tomorrow.

I am considering how I feel about my day. I am tempted to feel cranky and impatient with the piles of laundry to fold and, to be honest, a bigger pile of dirty laundry to wash. But fortunately, I am considering. And I’ve decided that I’m going to appreciate that I completed what I have done today and thankful that maybe tomorrow I can get a couple more things accomplished.

I’m grateful that balancing is not fitting everything in. I am committed to doing what I can manage. If your day is shaping up full of vim, vigor and vitality I am so happy for you. But if not, I hope you will find one important thing today to attend to - it may be a good nap!