Love Saves Us

"If nothing saves us from death, at least love should save us from life."

Pablo Neruda

In a beautiful photo book our son Scott created for us, filled to the brim with stunning photos of our grandchildren, there are also some amazing quotes on love. Neruda's is one of my favorites.

Life is hard.

My friend Kathy, like many others of late, has been living in the deep end of suffering. She has cancer and is going through rigorous treatment. She lost her hair. She also lost her dad. She's a pediatric oncology nurse - which sounds hard every day, and she's being doing it for decades. Hard times. Lots of suffering.

But one Sunday of late she chose to get baptized. And it was, by all accounts, glorious. Our community knows how to throw a baptism. There were banners (handmade with her favorite colors), butterflies (she loves butterflies), a gift table, food and a setting that was so beautiful, it could only be described as heavenly. I lost count, but she expected 5 people to show up and at one point I counted 40. She doesn't talk much in front of crowds, but that day? She spoke to her friends and family with a voice of conviction, hope and gratitude. I will never, ever, baptize anyone who is MORE grateful than Kathy.

Love saved her life. Love is saving our lives. Love saved the life of those who gathered for that holy experience. Nothing saves us from death...love saves us from life. Amen.

The Rise and Fall of Mike

It was early on in our recovery journey as a community where our fantasies turned to dust. Or at least mind did. I was baptizing this guy named Mike. He had been with us awhile, coming in early each Sunday morning to angrily set up chairs. Then he's sit in one and glare at the practicing musicians. He wasn't a fan of the music, he wanted to get to the meeting part of Sunday. Eventually he decided that he wanted to get baptized.

This took awhile to figure out. Our pilot project start up had not considered that anyone would show up and attend it, much less stick around long enough to ask to be baptized. We figured it out. I cannot remember now if he was in the first group of people who were baptized in the borrowed baptismal font in the sanctuary of our home church or if his was later, in the river. But what I do remember is what happened as he rose out of the water and slicked his hair out of his eyes.

"I can feel it. This is what I needed. This is the thing that is going to change everything for me." He declared this with conviction and shivers ran up my spine.

Look, I love miracles. I believe in miracles. I am scared to death of presumption and magical thinking. I've lost track of the timeline but I do not think he survived the year. The disease took him and I do not think this is at all what he had in mind when he rose up from those waters, cleansed and renewed, my brother in Christ.

Paul says something like this in Romans 6:3, "Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?" Yes. Yes. I know this. But I forget.

Jesus lived without illusion. This is our work too.

"We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life."

Romans 6:4

Mike rose out of those waters and into a new life. It turned out it was not quite what he hoped for but it pleased God to give it to him anyway. I was hoping for longer for Mike - a miracle. I'm learning that faith does not guarantee miracles for us to have a renewed life but it will ask us to live without illusion and no small measure of courage.

A Decent Burial

Will Willimon said somewhere in his book, Accidental Preacher, that most of us would have been better off if Jesus had left us alone. He was being cheeky but also making a point. It's awesome to think about a new life when our current one sucks. But we forget that it also requires that we give the old life a decent burial.

"Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may life a new life."

Romans 6:2-4 NIV

What dry, dead bones are you holding onto? They may be preventing you from having space for a new life.

My Awesome Friend, Who Was Awesomely Miss-Informed

My friend did reluctantly agree to enter the church with the steeple and receive baptism. It was the last time we ever baptized in a church; today, we head down to the river. I learned from my friend that sustained sobriety serves as a kind of holding tank for folks as God gently, ever so slowly, heals them. Over time, the shame that clung to her sloughed off. Today, she attends a “regular” church and is a vital part of their congregation. Her fear of God and steeples has dissipated as her time in recovery has lengthened and the lessons learned have become more true and real for her.

Recovery is rarely an instantaneous moment of glorious clarity (although it happens); mostly, it is faithfully putting in the time, doing the work, showing up and waiting as God does his part.

“The good news is, this is the hardest part, and every hour, every day, every week the process will get easier, more or less, if you stay the course and take toward this new life that you don’t want and can’t yet imagine, a life that will someday seem so much more valuable and hard-won than the life that came before.”

Stienberg and Bader, Out of the Wreck I Rise

Hold on just a minute. And then two. Breathe.