Closing Thoughts on Positive Faith

In closing out this series on positive faith- here’s what I might like you to takeaway, if I had my druthers. (If you haven’t read the series visit: northstarcommunity.com/devotionals to see what I’m on about).

Faith doesn’t have to be (and shouldn’t be) about:

-Living in shame

-Viewing yourself as bad, wrong, or evil

-Avoiding “bad” behaviors

-Blaming ourselves or others for suffering

Faith can be about:

-A God who comforts, loves, protects, and provides

-Building each other up

-Encouraging each other

-Looking for the good in each other

-Growing as a result of these

Faith and, and should be, a sense of connection to God, our neighbor, ourselves, and even creation itself. This connection provides a sense of peace about our place in the world- as well as a source of joy and hope. Faith encourages us to continue to look life directly in the face, even when it’s difficult, and to refuse to back down. Not because we’re strong or macho, but because we believe God will give us what we need to get from one moment to the next, and because we believe that surviving is the ultimate display of faith in action.

God has designed each of us. You have gifts, and strengths. You have something to offer. Too often faith communities have asked us to ignore, or even suppress, these things because of some wrong-headed notion that it might somehow take attention away from God.

I say no. The things that make you unique only point to beauty and depth of God’s creativity. So, please, if you can, embrace everything that makes you you. I kinda think that’s what God wants.

Positive Faith in Scripture

“The thief enters only to steal, kill, and destroy. I came so that they could have life—indeed, so that they could live life to the fullest.”

John 10:10, CEB

All too often faith is treated more like death than life. What I mean is, faith is (in certain contexts) about all the things you’re not supposed to do. It’s about behavior management, conformity, keeping up appearances, and so on. So much attention is given to what you “should not” be doing that you become paralyzed and unable to answer the question: what “should” I be doing? Or, even better, what would I like to do?

This question often scares people of faith. We assume that what we would “like” to do with our lives must somehow be “wrong” and a sign that we’re not living according to God’s way of being. I would suggest the opposite: if we’re grounded in our certain way of seeing and, as much as we can reasonably expect to, prioritizing grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love, then our “wants” for our lives probably line up with God’s desires. This is the essence of living by the Spirit.

After all, Jesus did not come to offer a life where we’re constantly white-knuckling it, at war with ourselves and others, uncertain of what we want to pursue, and living in the shadow of our shame and our fears about who and what we are.

The questions have been answered: We are God’s beloved children: drawn in and accepted for who we are with the promise of becoming even more. And Jesus came to offer fullness of life: a life where we can, in freedom, pursue the things that create a sense of being completely and totally alive and in love with the world and all that God has created.

Suffering is not Strength…

During my five years of intense suffering, I ultimately learned to surround myself with people who could focus on what was working, not ONLY what was broken. Maybe you need someone to kick your ass and get you into gear. I did not. The world was already kicking my ass. My father was already breaking my heart into a million pieces. My community, thanks pandemic, was in a state of flux and not everyone handled that well. All of it was TOO MUCH. But even in the midst of a fair amount of bad behaving, little lanterns of light were present.

This is a moment where I want to be brutally honest with you. I honestly have come through this tunnel with the strongly held conviction that no one needs an ass whooping. No one. I do not think it works. So maybe you think you need that, I would ask you to reconsider. I once had this young woman in my life who went off to college and came back....different. She had found a church near her college campus and she was thrilled with it. She reported to me saying, "You know, I realize that I need to go to a church where the pastor makes me feel ashamed each week so that I can be inspired to do better during the week." My heart sank. These were the days before I myself was a pastor, but even in all my ignorance, something about that just felt off to me.

This is a powerful human in her own right. She is assertive and strong and hears the cries of the marginalized and hopeless and DOES SOMETHING to alleviate their suffering. If anyone could take a licking and keep on ticking it's her. But this is not sustainable, in my opinion. One day, she will feel her vulnerability. And when that day comes, she may need something quite different. And if I may be so bold, she needs something quite different even when she feels strong and in control. Because all this shaming and her certainty that she can rise to the challenge actually strengthens her weaknesses. It makes her less vulnerable. It makes her more judgy and critical and I could see my younger self in her intense and sincere features. So I went home from our coffee date and cried.

Thinking and Rethinking

An easy way to care less and focus more on the issues that really matter in our life is to start assuming we are wrong. I am deadly serious about this. We are wrong most of the time. Our beliefs are often misguided or distorted. Our conclusions are usually more hypothesis than fact. We are wrong most of the time.

It is an awesome spiritual practice to ask yourself, "What if I'm wrong?" Remember, our brain does NOT like to contemplate being wrong. This form of inquiry requires it to fire up extra cylinders and kick itself into a higher gear. No self-respecting brain wants to do that! Our initial response will most likely be something along the lines of, "I couldn't possibly be wrong about this!" Again, just to be clear, yes. Yes. We could be wrong.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

Aristotle

We will need to challenge our mind - a powerful force that is well suited for denying anything that is inconvenient and will cause more work. When we ask this question, we may discover that indeed, we were right! That's great, but it will in no way grow or develop us. It will always be in the midst of discovering something wrong that we will get smarter, wiser and...better at playing the piano if we will humble ourselves and consider a different perspective.

What are you so sure about that you might need to rethink?

Go Solve Some New Problems!

For a variety of reasons, I grew up thinking it was my job to solve and even eliminate problems. My brother Bob was working on a project for scouts that involved staining wood. He was working in his bedroom for some reason that no one's brain can understand and accidentally spilled the stain on his bedspread. His brain knew that to go to mom for help would be disastrous, so he came to me. I solved the problem with my middle school brain.

I quickly sopped up what I could, ran the bedspread down to the utility room, threw in in the washer with extra detergent and then marched up to my parents' bedroom for affirmation for a job well done. I did a job alright - on the washer. Who knew varnish was NOT good for washing machines? My mistake was so BIG that I'm not sure anyone ever got around to asking Bob why he was staining a hunk of wood on his bedspread.

Today, I am happy to go back in time and report back to that little girl that she was doing the best she could with the information she had in her brain at that time. I would remind her that helping her brother is and will forever be her core value and that there is nothing wrong with that - ever. But I would also reassure her that over the course of her life, her experiences and situations will teach her how to "help" better. I would also give her some very key information - problems never go away.

Life is full of problems. Life will always be full of problems. Problems for the curious are not bad, they are opportunities to grow and learn. A rich and wonderful life can be crafted by ending up with better problems as we learn and grow.

I have spent way too much time judging myself and fearing problems. I believed that problems were MY FAULT. But mostly, problems are about responsibility. "Fault" is just a word we use to describe the consequences of a solution that is going to teach us something. It's not pleasant, but it is fully human and we can learn how to take full responsibility for that too.

I wonder what I will take full responsibility for today. I wonder what I will learn from it. I hope if I discover something today that I am at "fault" for from the past that I will be as gentle and kind to myself as I was to my brother all those years ago. It was easy for me to see that this cute kid made an honest mistake and try to protect him from an inappropriately (maybe understandable) harsh parental reaction. Why do we struggle so much to recognize that this is also true for ourselves?

Go solve some new problems!