Back to School…

School is back in session for many of our kiddos and the rest will be starting soon. Pray for them, their families, the teachers and support staff. Year two of a pandemic and it surely has been a test of resilience for our educational system.

Today, may we lift up a blessing for them.

Fall can be an opportunity for all of us to reset ourselves and make a fresh start. I think there’s some internal clock in most of us that is engrained from all those years of back-to-school start ups. What could you do to test your own resilience, evaluate you own life and consider making some adjustments as we move toward the last quarter of 2021.

The Blessings of Obedience

I want to say a dirty word…ready? Obedience.

Who likes to hear that? I hang out with people predisposed to saying “No!” when a “Yes” would have served them better. For some reason, I’m attracted to people who like to color outside the lines, break rules, and generally mess with authority figures. I’m not saying this is good or godly, but it is what it is.

Most folks who know my husband today like him better than they like me. It’s true. He’s quiet and kind and funny - and that ability to be quiet in sticky situations makes him seem smart. (OK, he is legit smart.) But I have to confess, I fell in love with him because, having known him for 50 years (gasp), I know he likes to color outside the lines, break rules and generally mess with authority figures that he feels are knuckleheads. For an introvert, the guy certainly could distract a teacher with his antics in our youth. One of our favorite stories about Pete happened soon after he arrived at our school as a transfer from Maine. We had a cool math teacher that we loved and Pete was in a small computer class taught by this same guy. Filled with guys, this small group was known to push the envelope and enjoyed bantering with their teacher. One day Mr. Crane had enough. “The next person that curses in this room gets a demerit!”

“Why the h-e-double hockey sticks do you want to do that?” answered my future husband. Pete had some explaining to do when that demerit notice showed up in the mail. (To fully appreciate this story, you have to know that this man never ever curses, and often chides the rest of us for what he perceives to be “loose lips.”) I suppose that’s why, years later, Pete couldn’t say but so much when our son brought home a note on his report card that said, “Could you please talk to Michael about not distracting me in class? He gets me laughing and this gets the entire class off track!” The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree! Pete and I put on our serious parental unit faces and spoke to Michael about the need to behave in class. It was hard, but we did it. Afterwards, I realized that it shouldn’t have been hard to tell our son this important truth.

Obedience may sound like a dirty word to those predisposed to wanting our own way, but it isn’t. It’s a beautiful word. The discipline of obedience brings with it all sorts of blessings. Disobedience may get us a few chuckles, but it probably won’t build character. Obedience isn’t something we do to avoid punishment; it’s a skill set we develop so that we might become people of character. There are limits to obedience, however. When we are asked to obey someone or something that stands in opposition to the God of our understanding, we do not obey. We resist. But cussing in class does not count as civil disobedience in deference to a higher call.

To obey is better than sacrifice…The holidays are wrapping up, and a new year filled with potential beckons. Is there anything related to “obedience” that you’ve been resisting? Is it holding you back from bigger and better things?

Day 29: Blessings Come in Many Forms...

“My cup brims with blessing…”

Psalm 23

I do not know the answer to most of the questions people often ask me. I do not know why bad things happen to good people. I have only a rudimentary understanding of why the Old Testament has a lot of fighting stories in a timeline that promises the coming of the Prince of Peace. But I believe that spiritually awake people can relate to Psalm 23, when David says, “My cup brims with blessing…” The scriptures describe blessings in various ways, including: we were once in darkness, and now we are children of the light. Once we were lost, and now we are found. Once we were separated from God, and now we live in communion with Him. What a bunch of blessings! What else does it mean and how does this apply to our lives?

Is a blessing getting our way, getting what we “want,” sitting on a balcony at a beach, or running on a trail through farmland at Virginia Tech? Is a blessing browsing through a great music store and then finding the perfect afternoon snack on The Corner at UVA? Is a blessing found in a good book, a cup of hot chocolate, a cozy fire, and an overstuffed chair? Is it a blessing spending the weekend with great friends and beating your husband at bridge? Is it kayaking? Is it that beautiful moment when your children are all fully engaged in a conversation that has everyone in stitches? All these things I love; are they my blessings?

“My cup brims with blessing…” Is a traumatic life event in childhood a blessing? Is having your boyfriend break up with you—after finding a replacement—a blessing? Is an eating disorder a blessing? Is having someone you love suffer from the horrors of addiction a blessing? Is financial loss a blessing? Is chronic illness a blessing? I have completely lost my ability to label life events in the “seen” world as “blessing” or “curse.” Some of my greatest hurts have turned out to be my all-time greatest blessings. And although I enjoy sitting and running and browsing and snacking and reading and great friends and winning and kayaking and laughing—and feel incredibly blessed to have these precious things in my life—I am not so sure that some of the things I’ve cursed in life aren’t also blessings. I think David is reminding us of this truth when he weaves us through green pastures, quiet waters, paths of righteousness, valleys of the shadow of death, evil, comfort, dinner with our enemies, and the hospitality of head anointing. David believes. David believes that a plan in the unseen world often leads to strange and mysterious twists and turns in the “seen” world. May God give you a delight in the roller-coaster ride of life; may He equip you with “God-vision goggles” so that you have a vision for more than what can merely be seen. May He give you peace in the process and the courage and stamina necessary to be the Prince or Princess Warrior that He has created you to become, so that you can carry that message of hope - especially in this seemingly hard-to-find-hope times.

A Life Worth Defending

Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it.

Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

In the midst of our current situation - quarantine, COVID-19, shortages on toilet paper and lemonade (of all things) - we continue to have no shortage of divergent perspectives. I recognize that I am extremely fortunate. No one in my family is dealing with a job loss. I happen to like my husband and enjoy quarantining with him. I do not have small children to raise in isolation or high schoolers to keep on track with their schoolwork. I am a blessed woman.

AND I am acutely aware of those who are struggling with an accumulation of anguish. How do you manage living in NYC with a partner who needs daily radiation to treat her recurrence of cancer? How do you sit at home in Atlanta while your sister passes away after a massive stroke in NC? Our normal life sufferings - life and death, sickness and health - are all disrupted. We are still getting sick, dying, healing, and living - but without the accoutrements of hospital visits and funerals and reasonably safe travel to and fro. For many, normal life suffering has escalated and accumulated.

What a time we live in. This is the time we sit and ponder and remember what we value when nothing feels at risk. We love life; it is dear to us; we will defend it.

So my relatives in NYC are given the loan of a car to help them travel safely for those daily treatments; we pause the funerals and press on in our mourning. We celebrate our recoveries and appreciate our health. We find joy where we can without forgetting that for many, it has been lost in transit.

How can we ease the accumulation today? What can we do to remind ourselves that our planet is blue and green, a virtual breeding ground for suffering AND also a place of rebirth, renovation and restoration? How can we appropriately lament the losses and nourish the thriving? What is your superpower? How will you use it today?

Blessings and Curses

When I was a baby Christian I thought that maturity would look like almost anything other than my daily living experience up to that point.  Am I alone?  I don’t think so.  

Recently I sat with a person who wanted to meet with me (at his therapist’s suggestion) to talk about why he had dropped out of church.  I felt such a connection to his experience and mused at the wildly different conclusions we came to as a result of our early life encounters with God’s people.  He has chosen to reject all things spiritual; I ended up a pastor!

Our shared issue was one of misguided expectations.  I am not sure that anyone told me that the life of believer was supposed to have the same effects as a lobotomy, but I sure thought it.  I believed that faithful people, even me, would learn how to do the right things and much like winning at a slot machine - eureka! - blessings would flow.

What would be the opposite of blessings?  Curses.

What did I think curses looked like?  Conflict.  Broken relationships.  Kids with “issues.”  Marital strife.  Financial struggles.  Disappointments.  Losing.  Betrayal.

In other words - life.  All the things I had on my mostly unconscious but detailed list of things God would protect me and mine from are, in reality, things that happen in life - with or without conscious contact with a power greater than ourselves.

One issue that was a chronic problem for me related to my expectations about life.  Honestly, today they seem more like fantasies.  I expected Pete and I to never disagree.  I believed that if I behaved, God wouldn’t smite me.  The problem is that I categorized unpleasantness as smiting when in truth, it was just life doing what it does.  My expectations had the potential to rob me of the gifts that a spiritual life can provide.

With all those crazy thoughts how in the HECK did I end up a pastor?  That’s a long story, but an essential element of it was that I figured out that I was looking at things all wrong.  I’ll be focusing on issues that have been particular stumbling blocks for me as I tried to figure out how to be a person of faith in the hopes that something might be helpful to someone in the process.  Bottom line:  we must be constantly willing to evaluate our spiritual beliefs and assumptions about how we will experience life as a faithful person.