Positive Faith: Assume the Best

How else can we practice positive faith?

Assume the best of others.

Now, if you haven’t been with me up until now then I know I will have lost you with this one. I am not kidding when I say this is hard work. But I’m also not kidding when I say I believe this is a muscle that we can stretch and grow. Assuming the best is a skill that can be learned.

And maybe assuming the best is asking too much. Perhaps we can simply start by learning not to assume the worst.

How do we do this?

When someone does something that pisses you off and your instincts kick in and tell you it’s because they don’t actually care about your or want to create your downfall or some such thing, follow these steps:

1. Take the time to brainstorm some alternatives. Why else could they be doing this? Might it be just simple carelessness? Might it be an accident? Maybe something happened in their life that threw them off their game?

2. Have conversations with people when they hurt you and allow them to speak to their side of things. You will often find that your assumptions were totally off base once you hear the other person out.

This little exercise trains us, over time, to recognize that the things we assume about people are rarely spot-on- and this helps us manage our assumptions.

Positive Faith in Scripture

“The thief enters only to steal, kill, and destroy. I came so that they could have life—indeed, so that they could live life to the fullest.”

John 10:10, CEB

All too often faith is treated more like death than life. What I mean is, faith is (in certain contexts) about all the things you’re not supposed to do. It’s about behavior management, conformity, keeping up appearances, and so on. So much attention is given to what you “should not” be doing that you become paralyzed and unable to answer the question: what “should” I be doing? Or, even better, what would I like to do?

This question often scares people of faith. We assume that what we would “like” to do with our lives must somehow be “wrong” and a sign that we’re not living according to God’s way of being. I would suggest the opposite: if we’re grounded in our certain way of seeing and, as much as we can reasonably expect to, prioritizing grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love, then our “wants” for our lives probably line up with God’s desires. This is the essence of living by the Spirit.

After all, Jesus did not come to offer a life where we’re constantly white-knuckling it, at war with ourselves and others, uncertain of what we want to pursue, and living in the shadow of our shame and our fears about who and what we are.

The questions have been answered: We are God’s beloved children: drawn in and accepted for who we are with the promise of becoming even more. And Jesus came to offer fullness of life: a life where we can, in freedom, pursue the things that create a sense of being completely and totally alive and in love with the world and all that God has created.

Positive Faith in Scripture: Paul’s Conversion

“He set off. When he got to the outskirts of Damascus, he was suddenly dazed by a blinding flash of light. As he fell to the ground, he heard a voice: “Saul, Saul, why are you out to get me?”

He said, “Who are you, Master?”

“I am Jesus, the One you’re hunting down. I want you to get up and enter the city. In the city you’ll be told what to do next.”

Acts 9:3-6, Message

If God were a God of shame, who only expects people to grow when they are confronted with their shortcomings, then the story of Saul’s (later, Paul) conversion is a rather weird story indeed.

Let’s be clear- there would be plenty for God to shame Paul over. He harassed and persecuted God’s faithful followers with vigor (it’s often said he committed murder, but this isn’t actually mentioned in scripture). If we’re thinking about this in terms of our stereotypes of faith, it’s not hard to imagine God demanding all kinds of acts of remorse or repentance and even making Paul prove himself before he’s tasked with his new calling.

But, he didn’t do that. He was quite matter-of-fact. My paraphrase goes like this: “I’m the one you’re trying to destroy. Stop that and go to work for me- instructions to follow.”

It’s sort of like an annoyingly brief and curt email from your boss that tells you that you’ve been working on the entirely wrong project for entirely too long and it’s time to start all over.

Paul is then led from place to place in order to prepare him for his ministry all under God’s guidance and protection and with no particular sense of retribution or punishment (on God’s part). He’s given a new mission without having to prove his worthiness in any way.

Under the circumstances, this seems to me to be beyond positive. Sure, God doesn’t tell Paul how great he is and why he’s the best choice for the job, but he does quickly move beyond Paul’s past and equips him for the future. I’m quite sure this instills confidence in Paul in his ability to do the job.

What do you see when you read this story?

Over the coming days we’ll go over a few more examples of God subverting our expectations and demonstrating that faith, and being called into God’s family, can be a very positive experience (and not just a shaming and deflating one).

Fear of Positivity

There has long been, in the Christian world, a fear of positivity.

I can remember my friends in seminary bristling at the idea of presenting faith in a way that was positive and affirming, as opposed to combative and demanding. If people feel free and unashamed, so the thinking goes, they won’t live out of their values. They will simply pursue pleasure and become increasingly hedonistic (self-indulgent).

I sort of partially agreed with that. I never was too keen on the idea of intentionally shaming people into obedience, but I also carried some fears about “what might happen” if people feel “too free.”

This is an area where counseling has really helped grow and expand my faith. Carl Rogers (a seminary drop-out and a famous therapist who I’ve mentioned often in the past few years) believed the exact opposite to what I’ve described above. He believed that *people grow when they feel free* (not when they feel pressure to conform). And he spent his career quite successfully researching that.

Both in my role as a pastor as well as my new role as a counselor- I can say I believe he was quite right. When I find myself trying to steer someone in the direction I want them to go, they back off and double-down on whatever their problem area is in life (whether that’s drugs, sex, or whatever). When I’m more intentional about exploring what people want for themselves and removing my ideas from the picture, they tend to move towards thriving (which often means moving away from a self-indulgent type of life- which often means living “more faithfully”).

It’s often thought that positivity is just the realm of psychology and that it has little to do with faith. It’s also often thought that the Bible itself lacks positivity (and this is why we should shame people into faithful living- because this is the “biblical way.”) *Both of these ideas are wrong.*

Over the next few days, I’ll show you just how positive the Bible can be about faith. I’m hoping this will help us all embrace a new way of being and seeing that still has ancient and deeply rich theological roots.

Beware of Your Bias!

We all have cognitive biases. Here's an important one. It is impossible to understand that there are people who are patently disadvantaged over others. People in a dominant group find it impossible to believe that the afflicted group is not somehow to blame for their affliction. Here is why. People notice their adversities but deny their advantages. You know this is true.

When my husband watches his beloved Dallas Cowboys play, the refs are always unfair to the Cowboys. They NEVER miss a call that would go against the opposing team. It's a thing - folks believe that their preferred teams have more disadvantages and they do NOT consider possible advantages that might help their team in ways that are unfair to the "enemy."

Sometimes our stress is self-inflicted - and this is an opportunity for just that scenario. There will be times when we inaccurately assess that we are being treated unfairly. In other situations, we will fail to notice the subtle and not-so-subtle advantages that we may have as a result of privileges we do not realize we are receiving.

What should we do? Pay attention! Notice your bias! Try to do a little better.