Thoughts on Control…

Hey NSC Blog followers!

I’m going to spend some time revisiting some old blog posts and updating based on how I see things today. I’m not sure if it’ll be interesting or not- but I tend to think it’s a good thing to be willing to change our minds about things and be open to new ideas. So I’m going to start each day of this series with my old post and follow them up with some thoughts based on how I think about things now:

Control, as a concept, arises time and again in recovery and it's no secret why:  the 12 Steps suggest that the path towards healing and wellness begins with a release of control.  This is an unintuitive act in our culture where we're told that the secret to success in life is to exercise as much control as we can over as much stuff as possible.  In recovery we're told that the only path forward begins with letting go.  

Largely this is because, prior to entering recovery, we've been living under the illusion that we maintain control over something that, in point of fact, exercises quite a lot of control over us.  The ultimate problem, though, is not how much we do or do not control but how deeply self-deceived we've become.  Denial completely obscures our relationship to "control." 

Scott’s response to Scott:

I actually don’t believe much of this last paragraph anymore. We are self-deceived a lot of the time, I’m sure. And yes, we do spin our wheels often trying to control things we can’t control. But I no longer see that as a control “issue”- as if this is the sole problem that needs fixing- I see it as our attempt to adapt to hardship in the absence of a better plan (which is perfectly natural).

Control issues might come up for a variety of reasons- there might be an absence of collaboration in a given area (home, work, etc.). Or we may be really frustrated with something we are struggling to accept. Either way, the work, in my opinion, is not to become less self-deceived- it might be to become more accepting. Or it might be that we have difficult emotions we need to name and process. Or it might be to add joy to our lives somehow some way. 

Let’s see where I go from here- I honestly don’t remember writing these posts in the slightest.