Go Enjoy Your Day!

I have about run out of material, for now, regarding all the gifts my breakdown has given me. But I do want to take a minute to return to the scene of the crime: my loss of joy. Joy is not the same as happiness. Today, I am unhappy that a grant proposal we turned in was not accepted. But I am still joyful.

Joy is a reflection of clarity about our purpose. Happiness usually involves getting our way. Joy is not an inside job. It comes from our shared experiences with others. Joy is the emotion that is best friends with the thought that we are "enough."

Our joy matters. Some days you are the one who reminds others; other days they remind you.

We do not have a moral obligation to give every drop of our humanity to support others ESPECIALLY people who treat us as if they are entitled to receive more from us than they would ever give in return.

Go enjoy your day!!

Trusting

I have a hymn I hate. I used to love to sing it; it always made me cry. But then I really thought about the lyrics and today it makes me cry thinking about ever singing it. Here goes...

When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word, what a glory He sheds on our way! While we do His good will, He abides with us still, and with all who will trust and obey.

Just say no. This is not ok. It implies that he withdraws his had of support if we do not trust and obey. But the scripture says otherwise. How did Jesus handle "doubting" Thomas? He let him touch his wounds. (Read John 20 if you want the nitty gritty details.)

Now, perhaps I have giving the hymn too much grief. Let's keep going and see what you think…

Trust and obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

Don't get me started. Since when does trusting and obeying guarantee happiness? You see where I'm going with this. This is tiptoeing too close to the line of living in illusion not reality. This reads like a sales pitch to me. Maybe I am too cynical….

Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies, but His smile quickly drives it away; not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear, can abide while we trust and obey.

I beg to differ. How many funerals have I tended over where families have trusted and obeyed; prayed and pleaded with God to save their children from addiction or the effects of a mental illness? I've lost count. But what I do know is that the sighs and tears continue even when families trust and obey. It feels like adding insult to injury to ask these families to abandon doubt, fear, sighing and crying as an act of obedience.

"Someone gave me a cartoon of a street preacher with a sign around his neck that said, "The world is not coming to an end; therefore you must suffer along and learn to cope."

Barbara Brown Taylor, Teaching Sermons on Suffering: God in Pain p.85-86

Carry on. Cope. Just understand that suffering is not a sign of disobedience and happiness is not a guaranteed outcome of faith. I hope this helps you breathe if you happen to be suffering right now.

Set Your Expectations Aside…

“Believe in your heart that you’re meant to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles.”

Roy T. Bennett

Or not. It is also ok to believe that you’re meant to live a quiet life of reasonable happiness. We are all different and alike. We are alike in that when all the cylinders are firing, we have a basic survival instinct, a need for some level of social interaction and a desire for intimate connection. But the LEVEL of need is different for each of us.

I remember when my kids were little and Pete was traveling a lot I envied people who got locked up in solitary confinement. Oh for one day of quiet and time alone! This was also during the season when I believed that a trip alone to the grocery store was tantamount to winning the lottery. I do not mean to disrespect anyone who has actually had to be locked up, I realize that this is cruel and inhumane punishment and I no longer consider trips to the grocery store in my best interest (thanks coronavirus).

When we are at the end of our rope, we often long for things that are totally not in our best interest or even safe. So if the age of pandemics, believing in your heart that you’re meant to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles - go for it! But if the pressure of having to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles feels like too much - then it is. Set the expectations aside! Maybe take a nap or go for a walk!

A Commitment to Happiness…

“Happiness is not out of reach.”

Krista O’Reilly David-Digue

The pandemic taught me so much about happiness. I discovered that it is not out of reach even if a lot of things that I thought brought me happiness are off limits. The pandemic required a level of paring down that most of us never dreamed would be required.

But in this, I found that happiness was still within reach.

For Pete and I we needed to recalibrate to grab hold of it because our longing for our “old” life was causing us a lot of anxiety. Anxiety was creating health problems and health problems were making us feel as old as our kids seem to believe we are - we were starting to feel our age.

We regrouped. We asked ourselves - what makes us happy that is attainable? We decided to believe that God is for us and with us and in us and that even a pandemic could not keep us from the love of God. We consciously, deliberately, asked ourselves - what do we need to practice that fits our chosen way of seeing?

We turned off the television and limited electronics. We started long daily walks. We found that eating home all the time allowed for better food choices. We gave ourselves permission to do more puzzles and read more books that in no way would improve our mind or body. Funny, mysterious, formulaic fiction. Whatever it took! I started taking online classes that filled me with the joy of learning. I followed both my personal interests and tried to up my ministerial skill sets - believing that one day the world would open back up and there would be plenty of fields in need of harvesting (Luke 10 if you are curious).

And we increased our conscious contact with people who love us. We had to ask ourselves, maybe for the first time in our lives - who loves US? We figured out how to play bridge online with our friends. We walk down the street and talk to our neighbors. We wave at strangers and smile even when we feel like crying because we know everyone needs a little encouragement.

Happiness is not out of reach if we are willing to take it on its terms - not as we would always have it, but where we can get it. The world is starting to open back up but Pete and I have made a promise to ourselves - we are not going to re-enter the world buried under the weight of obligation or duty. We are going to require of ourselves a commitment to happiness, the happiness that we have found in the most unlikely places.

Our One Wild and Precious Life…

“It’s okay to be happy with a calm life.”

Unknown

“My job is killing me. I work all the time. If I don’t, I’ll get fired or dinged on my performance review. I need this job to support my family.”

“I am so tired, I cannot rest worrying about my kids.”

“I cannot turn off the news at night; what is this world coming to?”

Can you relate? What’s your story? What story do you tell yourself that interrupts the possibility of a calm life? What stands between you and a reasonable level of happiness?

What could you change about how you think and what you do that would reframe your perspective? Can you give yourself permission to create a reasonably happy, calm life for yourself?

I know habits may have to change; hard choices may need to be made. But, as Mary Oliver says, THIS IS OUR ONE WILD AND PRECIOUS LIFE! Why would we waste it on chasing our tails? Or, metaphorically speaking, chasing our tales?