Fear of Positivity

There has long been, in the Christian world, a fear of positivity.

I can remember my friends in seminary bristling at the idea of presenting faith in a way that was positive and affirming, as opposed to combative and demanding. If people feel free and unashamed, so the thinking goes, they won’t live out of their values. They will simply pursue pleasure and become increasingly hedonistic (self-indulgent).

I sort of partially agreed with that. I never was too keen on the idea of intentionally shaming people into obedience, but I also carried some fears about “what might happen” if people feel “too free.”

This is an area where counseling has really helped grow and expand my faith. Carl Rogers (a seminary drop-out and a famous therapist who I’ve mentioned often in the past few years) believed the exact opposite to what I’ve described above. He believed that *people grow when they feel free* (not when they feel pressure to conform). And he spent his career quite successfully researching that.

Both in my role as a pastor as well as my new role as a counselor- I can say I believe he was quite right. When I find myself trying to steer someone in the direction I want them to go, they back off and double-down on whatever their problem area is in life (whether that’s drugs, sex, or whatever). When I’m more intentional about exploring what people want for themselves and removing my ideas from the picture, they tend to move towards thriving (which often means moving away from a self-indulgent type of life- which often means living “more faithfully”).

It’s often thought that positivity is just the realm of psychology and that it has little to do with faith. It’s also often thought that the Bible itself lacks positivity (and this is why we should shame people into faithful living- because this is the “biblical way.”) *Both of these ideas are wrong.*

Over the next few days, I’ll show you just how positive the Bible can be about faith. I’m hoping this will help us all embrace a new way of being and seeing that still has ancient and deeply rich theological roots.

“Hey, Who Pulled the Plug?”

“Sometimes it takes hitting that rock bottom to realize you’re done descending and it’s time to rise…”

Mandy Hale

Part of growing up involves learning stuff we think we should have known earlier but are only getting around to figuring out AND not blaming ourselves for what we did not know. When our kids were little we usually went to the beach on vacation. Eager beavers that we were we’d often end up at our destination before we could get into our rental.

We’d find some place to park and head immediately to the beach. One summer we arrived at high tide. The next morning, the tide had receded. One of our littles said, “Hey, who pulled the plug?” The only body of water that he knew of that acted like the ocean was the bathtub. It was a logical question for a three year old.

The truth is, there is stuff we just cannot know until we know it. Like the way our life is like the ocean, or a bathtub, depending on our viewpoint. Sometimes it feels like a mysterious hand pulls the plug and our joy drains from us. We lose hope and confidence. We doubt that anything will ever feel right or normal again.

This is life. Psalm 130 (you can look it up or wait until tomorrow when I post it in the blog) talks about this. It gives us an example of a group of people who feel like God pulled the plug. But it ends with “right remembering” - that inevitably God restores and rebuilds.

So when we’re feeling like we are at the end of our rope, let’s push off the bottom and kick our feet in an act of solidarity with a God whose intention is to eventually make things right. We wait. We paddle. We try to rise as an act of faith.

The Welcoming Prayer

Oh Tiger, Tiger, what if you could believe that God makes everything come out right? What if we believed the same? Spend some time today reminding yourself that as a faithful person, this is actually what you sign up to believe when you commit yourself to God.

Some days I have no words to express my heart’s longings. That’s ok! We know the Spirit is groaning on our behalf like Serena Williams in the middle of a crucial match point. But some days I WANT words, and when those days hit, I often turn to the prayers of others who have gone before me. The Welcoming Prayer is one of my favorites. When I pray it, I am practicing faith even when filled with doubt, courage even when overcome with fear. I pray this prayer as a way of naming my intentions - to believe that God is for me, not against me; that his hand is upon me as support and encouragement, not to punish or manipulate me. It is short and specific. I admit to God and myself that my assessments may feel certain in the moment but have often proven unreliable. I commit my intention to let go of those false strategies that honestly, never worked that great anyway. I let go of my desire to control life, rather than surrender to God’s presence in my life. Join me?

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

I welcome everything that comes to me in this moment because I know it is for my healing.

I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons, situations and conditions.

I let go of my desire for security.

I let go of my desire for approval.

I let go of my desire for control.

I let go of my desire to change any situation, condition, person or myself.

I open to the love and presence of God and the healing action and grace within.

By Mary Mrozowski*

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A note about Mary. She was a founding member of Chrysalis House, a contemplative community in Warwick, New York. She was a vital spiritual force, well-known for her deep spirituality and love of God.