Suffering Does Not Have to Destroy

Easter is over for this year, has been for awhile now. I've spent more than Easter's time slot on the subject of suffering and resurrection. But if I may, indulge me one more blog post. Suffering does not have to destroy us. Your suffering does not have to destroy you.

We are in far greater danger from the extremes to which we go to avoid our suffering. We run from our own deaths, we try to evade hard times. Rather than confronting our suffering, we are far more likely to go in search of an enemy to blame. Please consider that those things you most oppose - be it personalities or politics or even sports teams - these are distractions. They are also dead ends. Our lives will never improve through an obsessive focus on blaming and opposing others.

Instead, I would point you to Jesus. The losing God. The God who refused to say he was King even though he was one. Jesus, the guy who raised his friend from the dead (too late to avoid a scolding from his friends Martha and Mary perhaps) knowing that this would be the final straw and lead to his own death. Jesus, the guy who tried to tell us that death is far less scary when we sit in the hands of God than it is to live a life missing the point.

Don't miss the point, please. And, when you do, like me, miss the point - don't beat yourself up. Take a break from social media and maybe dig in the dirt or take a long walk or play an instrument or listen to a song that makes your heart sing. Make cookies with your grandchildren - if you don't have grandchildren, make cookies for someone. Invite a friend to sit on your patio and soak up the sun and a little encouragement. Say yes when your friend invites you to play bridge even if you have to rearrange your schedule. Love the ones you're with. This is truly, our one wild and precious life. Don't waste it worrying about whether or not your silly little sideboard might be stranded in the Panama Canal.

More on Suffering…

"Human suffering threatens all networks of meaning."

Bible Preaching on the Death of Jesus by William A. Beardslee et al.

Good old American know-how is a beautiful thing. But when we think our know-how should make us capable of out-running suffering, we are getting too big for our britches. As I alluded to in yesterday's blog, we need to be careful with how we define suffering.

We can turn pain into suffering if we are not careful. When I act as if a delayed shipment on a piece of eye candy furniture is a suffering, I'm perpetuating a myth. That is not suffering. But my whining and complaining causes me (and others who have to listen) suffering.

Simone Weil and others have written about their perspectives on suffering. Here is the gist of what I am learning from others, people who do not think waiting for a piece of furniture in a pandemic is a suffering because they actually know what suffering is all about.

Our faith does not and was not intended to alleviate suffering. There is not magic cure. There is no special way to believe that short circuits pain and suffering. According to Weil, our faith makes good use of our suffering.

She explains it something like this. Like Job, when we are able to continue to love God even when life is not good, that is a big deal. When we can love God in the midst of legitimate suffering - as a result of the limits of human living and its pain, grief, death and injustice for many - then we can turn our suffering into something that might benefit someone else.

I'm not suggesting we sign up for suffering. No, my friends, this is not necessary. Suffering will find us. But when it does, the question will be this, eventually, maybe years down the road: how does this suffering shape us? Are we more humane? Does our humanity reflect more the God who we have managed to love even when he does not meet our expectations and - gasp - demands?

This is Not Suffering…This is Whining

Suffering is a great killer of faith. For people who are not only used to suffering but can also not avoid it? They perhaps handle it better. But for those of us who are reasonably comfortable? I wonder if we have gotten too out of touch with reality. I notice an awful lot of people acting like suffering should not exist at all.

Take me for instance. I ordered this piece of furniture on January 1, 2021. The handy email receipt told me to expect delivery on March 1st. I would have preferred it in January - but ok, I think, I can be flexible. I am a reasonable person; I realize that we are in the first year of a pandemic and I know that history teaches us that pandemics last two years. I can wait until March.

March and April come and go but still I do not have my piece of furniture. Estimated time of arrival? End of May. I start complaining about this as if it is a hardship. It is not. It is an expected result in the middle of a pandemic.

We humans have been complaining about our suffering since the beginning of time. God couldn't work fast enough to get Eve created and handed over to Adam. He did not need a single dating app or dating ritual - God just provided. Still with the complaining. One tree out of a whole garden off limits? Those two could not bear it. They had to nibble at its fruit. You know the rest of the story.

Ending suffering is a worthy cause. I spend parts of every day praying and pondering - how can we do more to end the suffering of families struggling with the epidemic of substance use disorder? If I had a magic wand, I would wave it.

But waiting on a piece of furniture is not suffering, it's called waiting. Suffering is when I think I am too special to have to wait - which reminds me too much of my toddler grandchildren who at least have age as an excuse for their need for immediate cookie gratification. A garden full of delicious offerings with one lousy tree considered out-of-bounds is not suffering, it's called denial of limitations. I confess that today I realize that if my sideboard never arrives, I'm still one blessed human.

Suffering for Freedom

Jesus was not an ideal god - he suffered for things he did not do and was punished for loving too much. Our world is built on knowing who has the power and making sure we get some; Jesus turns that all upside down and says the last shall be first.

Terri and Tom C. are raising money for scholarships for the Threshold (a new venture for our little community); many of you have supported those efforts and have beautiful stained glass objects of art or gorgeous candle holders to prove it. All are beautiful. But what looked an awful lot like Jesus to me was the picture Terri posted in our NSC fb group - her fingers after all that working. Scratched and dented puts it mildly. Now look, Terri will not like me calling attention to this, so I may need to make her some brownies, but it is the best example I can imagine of what we've been talking about in the last few blogs. Terri loves doing her art, it's part of her giftedness and she loves this place and she likes to support it any way she can BUT she suffers too for the effort. Owen M. and the other drivers who staff the van to pick up our friends from The Healing Place, have to get up super early to do this job. I call out Owen in particular because he lives so far out on a piece of land that resembles a slice of heaven - his commute is epic. I could go on and on with the examples of the things so many of you do to serve and support our community. But it involves suffering. It's ok to acknowledge that - in fact, we should talk about it more so that suffering becomes an expectation, not something we all seek to avoid like the coronavirus.

I just want to say this to all of you who suffer for the benefit of another person - you're doing ok. The suffering is not a sign that something is wrong, it is an indication that something is right in a world that gets it wrong most of the time. You'll be a weirdo. Most people won't get you. But if you are suffering to benefit another, way to go. Jesus and those who follow him lose more than they win, but what they gain we cannot put a price on - a partnership with God, true freedom.

So we run this world our way...and for folks who want to be faithful to God's vision - we try to run it his way - in keeping with his vision. What do we need to change in order to do a better job of not just wanting to do it his way - but following through on that vision?

What if You’re Wrong?

Jesus showed us that we need to open our minds to think differently (the parables are all written to shock the listener into a new way of seeing, or what about when Jesus said, "you heard it said but I say unto you"...), we need to make different choices (love your enemy he said, visit Samaria he encouraged, love God more than your family is suggested, etc.), that we need to not just assume a feeling is a fact (fear not the angels keep telling us)... We need to get way more curious about things we believe we are right about and the things we think others are wrong about.

Here's my favorite question I hate to ask myself, "What if I am wrong?"

I'd suggest that each of us take a thought, belief, feeling or action that we THINK we are right about and turn it on its head. Let's ask ourselves - what if we are wrong? Go looking for the counter-position. Study it. See what you can learn. But remember - we have to be willing to start from the position of possibly wrong, not a defensive position of condescension.