Jesus’ Certain Way of Seeing

I have a really good friend who changes churches every few years. Me being me, I find this so interesting. "Why do you do that?" I asked.

"I like the feeling of being new." She replies.

"New?" I do not understand.

"I like being the new person, getting the goodies, having people go out of their way to greet me and make me feel at home!" Wow. This would have never occurred to me.

Aren't people so interesting? I never want to be the new girl. I grew up being the new girl-different states, towns, cities and schools. I hated that. My big dream was to grow up and know the names of the people who checked out my groceries. I wanted my youngest child to hear, "Oh, you're a McBean!" (He was not so enamored with this.) I loved it that a substitute teacher at James River High School once taught both me and my husband and she loved to point this out to my kids. (I believe, rightfully so, that she gets a little credit for their existence.) I want to be the girl people know so well that no one is startled if I show up without make-up wearing sweatpants. I want people to take me for granted and ask me to unplug the clogged toilet - but that's just me.

My friend has a different take on life. Her life is more meaningful if she is finding new experiences; I find meaning in the comfort of feeling a part of history - connected, tied down, anchored. Jesus had a particular take on how he defined meaning in life too, one that was at odds with his best friends Mary and Martha. Tomorrow's blog will dive into the day Jesus was their biggest disappointment.

Embracing a Growth Mindset

Carol Dweck also has provided a list of practical ways to embrace a growth mindset. Here are some of them:

* Embrace challenges. They build the resilience muscle and loosen the grip of fear of failure!

* Persevere, especially when failure is not only an option but a legitimate possibility. Here’s a weird thing about perseverance. I find that resistance to change and a fear of failure often gets inflamed right before a breakthrough of some kind. Today, when I experience discouragement I try to remember to get curious: what if something really amazing is about to happen?

* Talents and abilities can be developed. Isn’t that awesome? I am amazed that my daughter who majored in finance can transfer her skills and learn new ones in the field of IT. My son the pastor has developed a talent for photography and a skill at website design. My son the artist has increased his range of artistry and added “lead singer” to his already impressive musical repertoire. My husband has developed this uncanny ability to read my anxiety before I notice it and take action to support me before I have a meltdown. This involves a lot of supporting on his part. Once, when we were newly- weds I called him the most selfish person I ever met. Which wasn’t true, strictly speaking, but I have to say that today he is the most unselfish human being I will ever know. And me? I’m not without my own growth points. Today I figured out how to share a screen on zoom without having to get technical support from anyone. I know. Impressive, right?

* Find inspiration in others' success. Instead of feeling threatened, think more about what is true. Success is not a scarce resource. When someone else succeeds, we can celebrate that and remember that if they can, we can.

* Process errors with a desire to correct them without getting caught up in perfectionism. If you need support in this, google famous failures. Notice how many errors they make. Or watch sports on television. I watch a lot of tennis. Even the best and most athletic frame their shots or miss the service box.

* Accept feedback as a way to learn. Let me add here that Carol used the word “criticism” in place of feedback. I’m not a fan of criticism, but I do appreciate feedback. That said, sometimes even the most harsh and cruel criticism can be instructive - I just think it carries with it so much pain and suffering that I’m not sure that it is worth what we have to go through to get to the grain of truth from critical people. There’s a difference and I think we all recognize it when we experience it.

* Embrace new experiences with a desire and commitment to mastering new skills.

* Collaborate and innovate with people who challenge us to grow. I have some folks in my mind that do that for me on a regular basis - it really is such a great thing, to have others inspire our own commitment to growth.