Curiosity

For whatever reason, there are people we harm that we do not remember harming. It is good to stay curious about such things. Keep an open mind and attitude about who ELSE might need to go on our list because sometimes we are distracted by the obvious choices.

This is our work and we try to NOT make it easier on ourselves by asking others to help us out. “Hey, if I ever did anything to harm you, I’m sorry...” is a hard-hearted amends and is guaranteed to do more harm.

We may also want to lean into thinking about the excuses we make for our behavior. That is one way we minimize and try to wriggle out of a thorough list-making.

Has anyone ever accused you of “playing the victim card”? Get curious about this too! If we constantly tell stories about ourselves that are filled with self-pity, our judgment might be a bit cloudy.

Just be curious. Notice your patterns. ESPECIALLY if you have places of safety and acceptance in your life to support you as you explore the way you interact with others!