Have You Had Enough?

“Sometimes you have to realize that you’ve HAD enough to realize that you ARE enough.”

Mandy Hale

Learning to love ourselves is not simply getting better at giving ourselves a pat on the head and a snuggly hug. Love is a verb. Love. Love yourself. This can be quite challenging. When am I loving myself versus when am I acting selfishly? Am I loving myself or being self-indulgent? What about when it feels like my world is falling apart - how do I love myself when I am afraid I am the one whose hands are causing the destruction?

I find this spacious middle ground where I can wait for something to shift in my understanding and gain discernment when I remember that it is God’s way to improve things. Psalm 130 teaches us just that. It allows for the reality that God is up to something important and although he is super patient (usually good news for us) with a timeline that does not always align with our preferences, we as his followers can trust this is true. Whether or not we align ourselves with his intentions is our choice. But as we make these choices to follow or not, it might help to remember that this is GOD we’re talking about.

God, for whatever reason, has chosen mere mortals to participate in his work. This is our choice. It does not necessarily make life easier; in fact, I find it quite challenging. But I consider the other options and return to Him over and over again.

One of the best preachers I ever heard was James Pardue. He pastored our church faithfully and well for many years when Pete and I were raising our young children. He was a gifted teacher and spiritual guide of enormous integrity. I remember him telling me a story about a young person asking him if he was sure God existed. And, God bless him, he told the truth. He replied that he was not sure of much of anything. BUT, he added, it seemed to him that from the best he could tell, if God was real, he was headed in the right direction and he, Jim Pardue, thought it best to follow.

I could not believe his candor. He had doubts! But as best he could tell, God’s intentions were for good and not evil. He concluded with a quote I wrote in my bible and offer to you now, “I have decided that I prefer the life of a follower than the life of a salmon.”

This quiet, committed man knew he did not want to spend his life swimming against the current of God’s love, grace and mercy. Sometimes, we wake up and realize that we have been swimming against the tide of God’s love, grace and mercy for all.

Have you had enough? Are you ready to accept that you are enough? You are inherently worthy and flawed, fully human, chosen by God to improve the world in the way that suits the nature of God.