Back to School…

School is back in session for many of our kiddos and the rest will be starting soon. Pray for them, their families, the teachers and support staff. Year two of a pandemic and it surely has been a test of resilience for our educational system.

Today, may we lift up a blessing for them.

Fall can be an opportunity for all of us to reset ourselves and make a fresh start. I think there’s some internal clock in most of us that is engrained from all those years of back-to-school start ups. What could you do to test your own resilience, evaluate you own life and consider making some adjustments as we move toward the last quarter of 2021.

Developing a New Mindset

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”

Corrie Ten Boom

I honestly do not know how to tell anyone anything meaningful about abandoning any powerful emotion in favor of love. I just do not know. I do know it is a great idea. I’m also learning some things about change. And who in their right mind could possibly believe that nothing needs to change at this particular moment in time?

Has anyone ever said to you, “Just stop worrying!” Does it help? What about all those other helpful suggestions of what YOU need to stop - as if you haven’t thought about that yourself a million times?

What does help?

There is power in believing that we can improve and accomplish what we set out to achieve. But this is NOT a vague message about having more faith, or sticking with hope, or even God has got this so stop whining. This is a very specific way of believing.

It relates to how we experience failures and setbacks.

When we develop a mindset that sees our failures and setbacks as opportunities for growth - we are developing the kind of resilience that allows us to face challenging situations and come to believe that we can improve and accomplish goals that are important to us.

How do we accomplish this shift? I have some ideas. Stay tuned! For today, if you are interested in bolstering your resilience and capacity for achieving your goals, give thought to this idea that failures and setbacks as opportunities for GROWTH.

Hear me clearly - the focus is on the belief that we can GROW. This does not mean that we will necessarily succeed at everything we try. This is not magic. But what it does mean is that we can alleviate some suffering, worry and sorrow which will free us up to find more productive ways to cope with our lives - and maybe even thrive.

Sinking Into the Moments…

I don’t believe we’re meant to ‘get through’ our lives. It might take a lifetime of practice, but I think we’re meant to sink into the moments and really LIVE the days we’ve been given.

Erica Layne

Our family seriously quarantined this past summer, which left two preschoolers with no preschool or other activities. All four parents and two available grandparents have full time jobs. We were busy being available and flexible as a team. Mornings during the week were spent at Meme’s summer camp; it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

By summer’s end, it was golden. They had learned to cooperate more and compete less. I saw more tenderness and less territorial bickering over who would get to use which swing, squirt the hose, sit in Pop’s lap, blow bubbles with the blue wand, eat their protein bars with or without a wrapper.

Our schedule is more manageable now but I miss sinking into the moment and really LIVING the day I was given with those two characters. Whether I thought I could afford it or not, my mornings were spent in the sun, playing. I played with chalk, sat in the kiddie pool, pushed the swing, caught a giggling girl as she charged down the slide. I also administered first aid and handed out consequences. I sweated bullets. Some days I needed a nap in the afternoon, further cutting into my productive work time. I would not change a thing.

Norah talks so well now that she can tell me she needs her privacy; Christian is starting to look like a boy who will soon head off to kindergarten. My babies are growing up. If there is gratitude I can find in the pandemic - and there is much to be grateful for - tops on my list is the uninterrupted time I had with these two little humans.

If you’re “getting through” the pandemic and that is absolutely your best case scenario, awesome. But...if you could find a way to seek out gratitude and resilience, it is possible to find moments to sink into! I hope you find a few!!

The Courageousness of Resilience

Now, every time I witness a strong person, I want to know: What darkness did you conquer in your story? Mountains do not rise without earthquakes.

Katherine Mackenett

We’ve all heard the age old saying “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” It’s wrong. Stuff that “doesn’t kill us” is survivable, but often barely. The statistics are clear even before the pandemic - our nation is suffering from a crisis of epic proportions not related to Covid - mental health and substance use disorders are rampant. Today, their toll is almost incalculable. I often wonder if we all would fare better in this time of unrest and sickness if we were more resilient people BEFORE this crisis.

I love a good storyline that involves humans rising above adversity to become...awesome, successful, amazing humans. But this plot line is more Disney movie than real life. Adversity reveals vulnerabilities and often results in anxiety and depressive disorders, substance use and abuse, inability to connect with others, failed marriages, and more.

It might be healthy and helpful to take a pause and re-evaluate. Maybe you, like me, have not taken a good look in the mirror lately. Maybe the stories we tell from our childhoods are not just wild and crazy memories to laugh over. What if they are having a negative affect on our life?

Resiliency is not the equivalent of being tough. Resiliency is the capacity to bounce back from suffering. It requires acknowledging suffering for what it is and taking actions to HEAL from the wounds that the suffering inflicted. This is a courageous but different way of thinking about strength. We need to have more conversations about how to build resilience.

Have you been strong for so long that you are worn out? Do you need permission to rest your weary body and soul? Permission granted!

Healing Through Connection

I appreciate the stories people tell me through the various ways we are connecting during this pandemic season. I am not so thrilled about the content. It seems that there is more keeping us apart than a virus. Our different opinions are separating us, our political preferences are dividing us. Our interpretation of current events fills us with certainty but also creates a chasm between us and others. This is damaging to so much more than the economy or the political process. It is wrecking our mental health and battering our capacity for resilience.

Centering prayer and meditation causes our brain to light up in the same way that it does when we are experiencing a secure attachment relationship. This validates our hope that we will improve our conscious contact with God when we pray. We are making a connection!! If isolation is part of the disease of substance use disorder, then our current situation is creating a petri dish where use disorders will flourish. Connection is part of the treatment; it serves as good preventative medicine; it heals that which has been broken.

This privilege, to connect with God, invites God to do deep work within us. It is union with the divine. It helps cultivate lovely things like love and empathy and compassion.

I know that all the cool kids will enjoy their arguing and certainty. Thus is life.

But for the rest of us. Those who long for a life that is filled with love and joy and peace. This is a way we find it.

Today, see if you can spend a few minutes sitting in quiet awe of a God who shows up for you.