The Restoring Powers of Active Rest!

Active rest is working one function of our humanity while resting other parts. One of my daily breaks is practicing my piano. I'm working my musically inclined part of my brain but my abs are resting comfortably in a soft, cushy puddle around my waist. I try to do at least one house chore a day during a break - fold clothes, clean the bathrooms, something so that my house is reasonably straight at all times. I exercise in one slot. My brain is on complete auto-pilot but those glutes and abs are fighting it out with gusto.

I also sleep. Although at the deepest point in my depression sleep was fitful, it certainly has taught me to appreciate a good night's rest.

Our brain works hard while we sleep; our body restores itself while we sleep; our memories consolidate and new information is integrated into our computer of a brain. I am often grabbing a notebook and pen in the middle of the night when awakened with a sudden thought, idea or insight. If I don't write it down, it's gone by first light.

Relationships are harmed when we are not rested. Anxiety and depression correlate with sleep deprivation. If you're sleeping a ton and still feel unrested, get it check out. You could have sleep apnea or other health problems. Sleep matters; treasure it!

How are you at active resting? Any tweaks you can make to improve your daily life?

Mental Rest is Not Idleness

My grandparents were hardworking people who knew how to rest. They lacked all the distractions that we moderns have. My Papa could not watch all his favorite teams play every game - there was no NFL package for the football obsessed in his day. On a good day his radio would pick up his beloved Reds. It would be static-laden and no one was allowed to speak or make a noise while the game was on. That was fun.

They followed the rhythms of the sun and moon. In the summer they rose early because, without air conditioning in the south, you had to get those chores done before it got to blasted hot to breathe. They went to bed early because there was little to distract them and keep them up late. Plus, they were tired. Things were inconvenient and tiring - laundry had to go to the laundromat. Vegetables came from the garden not the Winn Dixie.

We have become out of sync. Our brains are on overload. We need to figure out how to rest more, daydream, and allow our brain to go into its default mode network. I know you are curious; what is this default mode network? It is when our mind is wandering that the default mode network goes into gear, assessing our present state and planning for the future. We're not aware of this work, but it is vital for wellness.

This is such new research that most of this function is a mystery; but what we do know is fabulous. People who toggle into default mode are more creative, socially skillful and happy. Mental rest is not idleness.

This was the gift of the pandemic for me. Grounded at home, I could work for an hour or two and then go fold clothes. I could go back to work and then run downstairs and throw food in the Insta Pot. I could work for an hour or two and do a workout. This is an ideal way to live, and I do not plan to change this post-pandemic. When we walk away from a task, we are recruiting our entire brain to keep working on the task while our body gets a good stretch in.

The enemy of default mode networking is boredom. Boredom is not our friend; our friend is a thing we will talk about tomorrow - active rest.

Take a Break!

Do you ever feel under attack? Do you wonder what the world is coming to? For all of us who are paying attention and finding plenty to be concerned about, I offer you this-look around.

Pay attention to the little people in our lives - make sure they see our eyeballs and our smiling faces! No little people in your life? Can you find a way to volunteer or support folks who have lots of littles and maybe could use a break?

Find a way to give back. Not something big or dramatic, that is neither sustainable or necessary. Calls, texts, notes, taking road trips down memory lane - it's all uplifting!

Treat yourself. Sure, we are all aware of the value of eating healthy and exercising but once in a while, enjoy the pure pleasure of an ice cream cone on a hot summer's day or a glass of ice tea in your best crystal!

Rest. Take breaks. Go for a drive. Change your scenery. I love to grab a latte and take a 20 minute drive down by the river in the middle of the day just to reset my compass and clear my mind. Work a puzzle or take up crosswords! Try something new without worrying about being good at it!

Come over and play pickle ball with Pete and I - the net is always up and we are always looking for a good game.

What else could you add to this list? Who could you add to your adventures?

Set Your Expectations Aside…

“Believe in your heart that you’re meant to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles.”

Roy T. Bennett

Or not. It is also ok to believe that you’re meant to live a quiet life of reasonable happiness. We are all different and alike. We are alike in that when all the cylinders are firing, we have a basic survival instinct, a need for some level of social interaction and a desire for intimate connection. But the LEVEL of need is different for each of us.

I remember when my kids were little and Pete was traveling a lot I envied people who got locked up in solitary confinement. Oh for one day of quiet and time alone! This was also during the season when I believed that a trip alone to the grocery store was tantamount to winning the lottery. I do not mean to disrespect anyone who has actually had to be locked up, I realize that this is cruel and inhumane punishment and I no longer consider trips to the grocery store in my best interest (thanks coronavirus).

When we are at the end of our rope, we often long for things that are totally not in our best interest or even safe. So if the age of pandemics, believing in your heart that you’re meant to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles - go for it! But if the pressure of having to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles feels like too much - then it is. Set the expectations aside! Maybe take a nap or go for a walk!

Contemplating Your Journey

“When your road is a dead end, it’s likely that you’ll find it's only really just a bend, and though others’ roads are different, it doesn’t mean yours is wrong, so pick yourself up again, and just keep trudging on.”

Erin Hanson

I’m a sucker for a good journey metaphor. But perhaps we could add to this one. Maybe we could ask for someone to give us a hand getting up. And once arisen, maybe we could pause and thank the helper. If it feels as if the standing took all you had, look for a bench to sit on and contemplate how far you’ve come before you set out to where you are headed.

Breathe...rest...relax.