Learning to be fully human

Have you ever felt like you were giving up your right to choose the life you want to live? When I feel this way it is usually because something is standing between me and my preferences. Each morning I have several rituals that I use to center myself and start my day as a person who is in long term recovery with a commitment to being “turned” and placed on a path that leads to life. Not just any life - but a good, decent life. A life where I do not have to sneak or hide or lie or cheat or steal.

If I had a nickel for every time I thought or someone else said to me, “It’s my life! I get to live it MY way!” I would be a wealthy woman. The problem with this kind of thinking is this: When we have this kind of attitude, what we are really doing is constructing a personality, not becoming a full and whole human. This construction project began the instant we were born. We observed how folks responded to us. We listened to what our community valued. We evaluated and compared and competed for attention, affirmation and resources we thought we needed. We have pretended, we have played games, we have turned ourselves inside to get attention, approval or resources to live a life of our own making. This is fantasy living and it is as unsatisfactory for building a decent life as cotton candy is for providing a nourishing meal.

Recovery helps us remember and reconstruct our lives. When we “turn”, we do so knowing full well that we turn to a God who has our best interests at heart, who knew us before we were born, who knows how we are created and what we are created for. He gets us better than we get ourselves.

“If you don’t go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don’t deserve me. If your first concern is to look after yourself, you’ll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you’ll find both yourself and me.”

~ Matthew 10:38-39 The Message

Spiritual practices are a source of strength

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

~ Isaiah 40:29, NIV

It has been said by people way smarter than me that addiction is at its heart a spiritual quest. I don’t know about that. I do know that it is looking in the wrong direction. Research bears this out. We are learning that the SOLUTION to Substance Use Disorder that includes a spiritual component is far more effective than one that does not address spirituality.

So maybe those gurus are on to something! Although the using may fall far short in delivering a spiritually transformative experience, the recovery from the quest can be quite enlightening.

Today, take a few moments and just breathe. Give just a fraction of your time this morning to remember that God gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Where do you feel weak? What is causing you to be weighted down with weariness? Ask God to strengthen and empower you today.

Spirituality… “It is that sense of well-being I sought in drugs only it’s meaningful and lasting. It is not going to wear off when the drug wears off, it seems to come from within.”

Source of the quote: https://www.nacr.org/center-for-12-step-recovery/by-the-book-doing-the-twelve-steps/by-the-book-step-3

What about us is the same?

29-30 The Spirit told Philip, “Climb into the chariot.” Running up alongside, Philip heard the eunuch reading Isaiah and asked, “Do you understand what you’re reading?”

31-33 He answered, “How can I without some help?” and invited Philip into the chariot with him.

Philips helps the eunuch. He helps a servant. He helps a man that society was willing to mutilate so that he might work more efficiently. This is how God the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, his angels and his people think.

The passage he was reading was this:

As a sheep led to slaughter,

and quiet as a lamb being sheared,

He was silent, saying nothing.

He was mocked and put down, never got a fair trial.

But who now can count his kin

since he’s been taken from the earth?

34-35 The eunuch said, “Tell me, who is the prophet talking about: himself or some other?” Philip grabbed his chance. Using this passage as his text, he preached Jesus to him. Acts 8:29-35

We can only imagine how the Eunuch, himself a sheep who was slaughtered, with no voice to change his society, mocked by all, his opportunity to make and build a family of his own stolen from him for the sake of squeezing out a few more hours of productivity….related to the story.

And that’s just it, isn’t it? It is the capacity to say, “Me too.” I understand that these are politically charged words today but, regardless of that particular set of conflicts, they are also sacred words because they communicate empathy, a true spiritual virtue. Our particular perspective is always shaped by our own experiences, expectations, and beliefs about the worth of self and others. Our perspective is always richer when we recognize what we hold in common.

Set it all aside and hear this: Jesus cares about the broken-hearted, the disenfranchised, the people that others in society are able to bully. God is the running Father who creates space at the table for all people, without distinctions.

You are on the team and you have a part to play

In this next parable, we read about how an angel of the Lord gives a mere mortal instructions, strange instructions, and Philip, the mortal follows the angel’s lead.

26-28 Later God’s angel spoke to Philip: “At noon today I want you to walk over to that desolate road that goes from Jerusalem down to Gaza.” He got up and went. He met an Ethiopian eunuch coming down the road. The eunuch had been on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem and was returning to Ethiopia, where he was minister in charge of all the finances of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians. He was riding in a chariot and reading the prophet Isaiah. Acts 8:26-28 MSG

Back in the day, men were castrated under the misguided and brutal assumption that they would be more attentive servants. “Candice” was historically the traditional title of the queen mother, responsible for performing the secular duties of the reigning king - who was thought to be too sacred for such activities.

Please reread that last paragraph. Breathe. Think about what was just said there. If you have the stomach to proceed and you have stopped laughing or crying, depending upon your personality, at the utter ridiculousness of those two historical perspectives, I will continue.

My point is this: look at what effort God is making to reach out to the eunuch. A man of shame, a man who literally has had his manhood removed. Imagine all he has lost, and yet he is valued by God. Notice also that the angel goes to Philip and asks him to participate as an emissary in the “running of the father” toward the eunuch.

Many times we expect to receive a strange call like this from God via angels or texts, burning bushes or according to a new tv show - by God friending us on facebook. We fret over knowing and doing the will of the Father - as we should. But this kind of movement across the heavens to earth with an incredible specific request needs to be seen for what it is - unusual. Not everyone will be summoned in such a direct manner. Most of us will be expected to make obvious choices that sit right in front of us concerning God’s will. Like be kind to each other; pay our bills on time; try not to gossip; do our best not to judge self or others. Stuff like that which is neither grand nor sexy, but is as important as anything God asked Philip to do.

God has a team. We are part of his team. That’s quite lovely. Are you participating or sitting on the sidelines? Are you willing and able to take small next right steps? As obvious and simple as they may seem, sometimes those are quite difficult to accomplish.

God provides

In a couple days, I will post about yet another parable. But before we get to that, here is a bit of a refresher course on the role of the Holy Spirit. Jesus is talking...

4-7 “I didn’t tell you this earlier because I was with you every day. But now I am on my way to the One who sent me. Not one of you has asked, ‘Where are you going?’ Instead, the longer I’ve talked, the sadder you’ve become. So let me say it again, this truth: It’s better for you that I leave. If I don’t leave, the Friend won’t come. But if I go, I’ll send him to you.

8-11 “When he comes, he’ll expose the error of the godless world’s view of sin, righteousness, and judgment: He’ll show them that their refusal to believe in me is their basic sin; that righteousness comes from above, where I am with the Father, out of their sight and control; that judgment takes place as the ruler of this godless world is brought to trial and convicted.

12-15 “I still have many things to tell you, but you can’t handle them now. But when the Friend comes, the Spirit of the Truth, he will take you by the hand and guide you into all the truth there is. He won’t draw attention to himself, but will make sense out of what is about to happen and, indeed, out of all that I have done and said. He will honor me; he will take from me and deliver it to you. Everything the Father has is also mine. That is why I’ve said, ‘He takes from me and delivers to you.’ John 16:4-15 MSG

So here we have it. We have the eager running father, the knowing and loving and willing to travel to a hostile land Jesus, and now the Holy Spirit. “...the Spirit of the Truth, he will take you by the hand and guide you into all the truth there is…”

Look at this! Jesus again reveals how much he KNOWS about his disciples; he provides for what they need. This is amazing. Why wouldn’t we assume he is also doing the same for us?

God. Jesus. The Holy Spirit. For us. What will be our response?