Thinking and Rethinking

An easy way to care less and focus more on the issues that really matter in our life is to start assuming we are wrong. I am deadly serious about this. We are wrong most of the time. Our beliefs are often misguided or distorted. Our conclusions are usually more hypothesis than fact. We are wrong most of the time.

It is an awesome spiritual practice to ask yourself, "What if I'm wrong?" Remember, our brain does NOT like to contemplate being wrong. This form of inquiry requires it to fire up extra cylinders and kick itself into a higher gear. No self-respecting brain wants to do that! Our initial response will most likely be something along the lines of, "I couldn't possibly be wrong about this!" Again, just to be clear, yes. Yes. We could be wrong.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

Aristotle

We will need to challenge our mind - a powerful force that is well suited for denying anything that is inconvenient and will cause more work. When we ask this question, we may discover that indeed, we were right! That's great, but it will in no way grow or develop us. It will always be in the midst of discovering something wrong that we will get smarter, wiser and...better at playing the piano if we will humble ourselves and consider a different perspective.

What are you so sure about that you might need to rethink?

Intentional Solitude?

From an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense to have a primal fear of loneliness. We are safer running in a pack than living in isolation. There is a reason we think the phrase “lone wolf” signifies risky behavior.

We fear loneliness, but we also long for it. Ask any parent of toddlers and they will tell you that their most provocative fantasies include grocery shopping solo or a weekend of bedrest.

Christopher McCandless gave up everything to live alone (read about that in the book Into the Wild) and it killed him. It also turned him into something of a legend. We fear loneliness and obsess over the possibility that we might squeeze out a few minutes each day for ourselves.

I wonder if running from loneliness might be a symptom of a deeper problem. Maybe our terror over our covid-disrupted routines may have more to do with our distractibility and lack of spiritual sturdiness than we would like to admit.

So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.

Mark 6:32 NIV

Solitude, which inevitably will stir up latent feelings of loneliness, is a spiritual practice that is encouraged by those who have walked the spiritual paths long before we were born. Silence and stillness are equally encouraged as daily spiritual practices.

What better time to test them out?

During this winter of the pandemic, what if...we carved out time for solitude, silence and stillness? Get quiet. Don’t use a guided meditation or play music while you walk. Don’t distract yourself from yourself in any way. Sit in homage to God. Sit as one who waits for a dear friend or lover, eager to hear the car pull down the driveway, the sound of the key rattling in the lock. Sit still and just be you.

Dial It Back: What is Helpful and What is Not

When the stock market plummeted and I could not find toilet paper or chicken anywhere...my heart started skipping beats and racing with anxiety. Until I paused. I went into my toolbox and pulled out every resource I could find. Here are a couple that were extremely helpful:

* We have been hearing for forever about how it is important to stay in the present moment. So I decided to stay there. When my mind started judging this sudden rush on toilet paper, I thanked my thoughts for caring about my clean tushy, but politely asked them to move on. I reminded myself that for today, I had enough toilet paper. In fact, when I thought about it - I had PLENTY of everything I needed. This brought me not only joy but got me thinking about who might not have plenty. Sharing ensued. Staying in the present, reminding myself of what was real, was really, really calming.

* Do what is helpful. When we have wide margins for error during times of calm and low stress, we can afford to get a little careless with our disciplines or even explore new ways of being in the world. This is NOT that time. So Pete and I said, “What is helpful for us? What is not helping?” Here is the real list we made in response to that question:

* It is NOT helpful to watch the news. We know enough to know what we need to do today.

* It is VERY helpful to walk together every single day. (Often we tag team exercise, not right now. We do this together.)

* It is NOT helpful to waste time on distractions. We do not have the margins for being spiritually...thoughtless. We eliminated all TV.

* It is VERY helpful to do our spiritual practices - meditation, quiet time, etc. every single practice that we have done in the past that was helpful - we do daily.

* It is NOT helpful to whine about what we do not have. (Although, I do think whining about missing our grandchildren is just plain necessary.)

* It is VERY helpful to speak gratitude to each other and remind each other of every single little thing that brings us joy. I’ve seen a lot of others doing this too. I’ve seen more pictures of birds, sunsets and goats in the last six weeks than in my lifetime. Keep ‘em coming!!

* It is NOT helpful to experience too much boredom or lethargy - a little is good; too much distraction is not, but there is a happy medium.

* It is VERY helpful to continue serving others, working out, eating right, learning, practicing or finding hobbies, etc. This requires adjustments but my goodness - check out Youtube! I am convinced that if this goes too much longer, many of us could earn a PhD in something!!

* Do what is enjoyable! If it is present moment focused, helpful and brings you joy - go for it! This is a great stress reliever AND quite hopeful, don’t you think?