Positive Faith and Sin Part II

Read yesterday’s post before reading this. It’ll help.

People tend to be afraid that talking about faith positively means you’re unwilling to face the “hard” parts of faith. To be honest- that makes me either eye roll or laugh depending on how generous I’m feeling (and I’m not usually feeling generous).

So let’s just go there.

What is sin?

Well, in the Bible anyway, it’s a few different things. 1. It’s a force that is active in the world that opposes God’s plan to bring creation totally in line with his values (compassion, patience, mercy, love). 2. This is kind of a continuation of 1, but, the force that opposes God’s plan that is somehow within each of us. 3. A specific action that does not line up with God’s plan. Let’s unpack each of these three a little further (but I’m not going to go into great detail).

There’s an impersonal component to sin because it’s something outside of ourselves that we all battle and this force can pull us away from our certain way of seeing and being in the world. In other words, sometimes we live “in sin” because we’ve been influenced by sin.

There’s a personal component of it as well. Pay careful attention to how I preface this next sentence. Without some guidance, help, support, affirmation, or love, we do not instinctively put God’s love on display in our lives. I believe this is, practically speaking (not so much theologically speaking), what it means to live in sin. It’s when we are unable to prioritize reflecting God’s love to the world around us. We are more than capable of doing it- but we need the love and support of others in order to get there (in addition to the love of God, naturally).

The third component of sin is something I’m not particularly interested in unpacking. The individual actions that we do flow out of something that happens in 1 or 2 and, as a general rule, people are not particularly confused about the specific for instances of when they do not reflect God’s love.

I tend to believe that focusing on creating a community that fosters love, support, affirmation, admiration, and more, will create the environment we need to better reflect God’s love. That needs to be our focus in order to take sin seriously.

I’ll say more tomorrow.

Rethinking Our Mission

I used to be a little bit (not a lot, but a little bit) judgmental of people who presented faith in a way that was too friendly. I mean, I’ve always wanted faith to seem approachable. I’ve never wanted it to seem like it was hidden behind a gate that only “the good” could get past. But I’ve always felt like accountability was important. I never cared for approaches that seemed to overlook the importance of things like accountability, confession, and the like.

These things are still important to me today- but I’m thinking about them a bit differently. I used to think that people wouldn’t hold themselves accountable…that we needed someone from the outside to remind us of the things that we needed to confess or take accountability over. This is what is changing for me. Over time I realize that most people are *very aware* of their struggles, shortcomings, character flaws, or misgivings.

Because of this, I no longer think we should be demanding people spend more time thinking about their flaws. I think we should be encouraging people that it’s okay to be flawed and that, if we support each other, we can move past them.

Again, it’s not that I don’t think accountability and confession are important- I’m just rethinking what they look like. I think we need both. But I think we first need an environment where we feel free to look inside and share without fear of being excluded.

To be continued…

Go Enjoy Your Day!

I have about run out of material, for now, regarding all the gifts my breakdown has given me. But I do want to take a minute to return to the scene of the crime: my loss of joy. Joy is not the same as happiness. Today, I am unhappy that a grant proposal we turned in was not accepted. But I am still joyful.

Joy is a reflection of clarity about our purpose. Happiness usually involves getting our way. Joy is not an inside job. It comes from our shared experiences with others. Joy is the emotion that is best friends with the thought that we are "enough."

Our joy matters. Some days you are the one who reminds others; other days they remind you.

We do not have a moral obligation to give every drop of our humanity to support others ESPECIALLY people who treat us as if they are entitled to receive more from us than they would ever give in return.

Go enjoy your day!!

When is Enough, Enough?

One of the questions I began to ask myself in the face of some pretty harsh conditions was this one: "How much more do I have to do before I've done enough?" This is a great question to ask when we are under a lot of stress, especially if we have wise companions to help us sort out our confusion. "Done enough," might best be understood as thinking about living out our core values and sacrificing for them. This is a good thing; but it can also be quite destructive. The gift of the pandemic and family suffering for me was coming to realize that I was doing the wrong stuff for the right reasons.

If my life and spiritual path and love for scientific data taught me that personal freedom and chocolate cake for breakfast leads to a fulfilling life, then I am quite sure my goals for myself would look different. I would have, perhaps, become a baker who refuses to work according to anyone else's schedule. But this is not what life and the pursuit of faithfulness has taught me. For me, what I happen to believe is that a meaningful life requires that we all find a way to connect to something larger than ourselves. I assume this will be hard and not always fun.

Years ago, I noticed how hard it was for people in recovery or in need of recovery to fit into some of the traditional environments for meaningful connection. I was in a position to participate in changing this dynamic and it felt like a worthy goal to me as a woman who grew up in a family that could have used this kind of community but never found one. I still believe and support this dream.

When I thought my work included helping others find a meaningful life and provide them the tools to accomplish it, I was a failure. And presumptuous too. But once I burned out, I realized that my success was not dependent on convincing others how to do hard things; my truest goal is to be present for people who are having a hard life. My desire is to continue to show up because it is who I am. This shift is seismic. I am not responsible for making it easy for people to be faithful; I am responsible for being a faithful person.

I cannot tell you how much added stress I have heaped on myself over the years because I had this misguided notion that somehow I was supposed to be helpful to people in this particular way. I have quit this life of hoping that if I try hard enough others will try hard too. I do not plan to return.

Making Room…

When we are under too much stress, our body is not built for self-reflection. It has four things on its mind: fight, flee, freeze or fawn. But the body does know how to not only survive but thrive. It's been taking in data for our lifetime and it remembers everything and knows us well. When I devoted myself to my practices at a ninja level in order to avoid a hospitalization, my body had the time to speak to me and I was desperate enough to listen. It told me the truth.

During the pandemic all I could do was think about how I could do more, better, to make up for all that we could not accomplish and provide in lockdown. We found new ways to meet relentless needs. We took advantage of pockets of time and took workshops and classes to strengthen our serve potential. We had to figure out technology. We had to decide how to manage risks while meeting needs. What I did not do was take the time to ask any questions; I just redoubled my efforts. My little engine kept saying, "Try harder." And I did!

But a wonderful thing happened while getting my hair cut. I heard someone call me lazy. It was a breakthrough. Because I had support, I was able to finally say the truth to myself, "That is not true." I am many things, lazy is not one of them. This caused a cascading effect of self-realization. I thought to myself, "If that is not true, what else is not true that I am believing?"

The experience has been amazing. The truth is, I am actually strong. I am courageous. I am a human who can give and receive. I do not have to be perfect, fulfill other people's expectations, or make anyone happy.

So yes, I have quit. I have given up on being pleasing or inspiring or effecting change in a world that desperately needs it. This has left plenty of room for new ways of thinking, feeling, and doing that I do hope will be helpful, but mainly, I know I will enjoy my life and love what I do.