Positive Faith in Action

The next few days are about finding ways to put positive faith into action. Yesterday we suggested getting started by remembering that every human being is created in the divine image of God. Humanity is precious to God, and inherently reflects his nature (amongst other things of course).

A close corollary of this is to look for the good in others. Yes, this seems simple and trite. But, isn’t it nice when you can tell that someone sees the good in you? I don’t know this for sure, but I’d imagine it helps you relax, feel safe, feel connected, and, perhaps, like you really do belong in this world.

Can we offer that experience to others as part of our call to love our neighbor as ourselves? Can we actively look for, and see, the good in others so that we can affirm them as beloved children of God?

UnLearn Helplessness!

I felt immediately better once I realized that, as a female pastor, the game is rigged. It just is. But this was not the first rigged game I played. My list is long and boring, I don't need to rehash it - but it is true. What I really need to focus on, and maybe you do as well, is teaching my body that the game may be rigged but I am not helpless.

How do we do this? We DO something.

Remember those animals they taught to be helpless? They untaught them. They forced them to escape by dragging them to safety. Eventually the dogs (in this experiment) eventually learned to escape without human coercion. We can learn the same!

When we feel trapped, freeing ourselves from ANYTHING can teach our body that we are not helpless.

I have a friend who is struggling with past disappointments and abandonment. These past issues are done. She feels helpless over the effects they have had on her relationship with men. What can she DO? Well, she cannot undo her childhood trauma.

But what she did do was join a gym and get fit as a fiddle. She found a therapist who gets her. She is DOING. This helps reduce the stress that helplessness causes.

Today I was feeling helpless over those dang grant applications. I cannot change the outcome. But I did phone a friend and check in with them every hour all day. I did not call them to lament my grant status. I called them to see how they were doing - friendly connection. The goal in unlearning helplessness is to stabilize ourselves.

You can DO something. What are you doing to get out of the trap you feel helpless in?

Moving Toward Wellness

In the Nagoski sisters' book, there is an amazing quote,

"Wellness is not a state of being but a state of action."

When we learn how to move through the stress cycle, we are healing; we are moving towards a lifestyle of wellness.

What do you think you need to start taking action on? What's your next right step?

Do. Evaluate. Redo. Reevaluate.

I was not created to be a motivational speaker if by that we mean someone who motivates and inspires. I think this is because my core values and inspiring motivational moments are at odds. This has actually been hard for me to accept because I'm the sort who actually prefers success to failure. I like to win. Ask my husband, he will tell you. I care about winning whether we are playing cards or pickleball. When our son tells us that maybe at our advanced age we should transfer our considerable efforts to play tennis over to the pickle ball court, what did we do? We started taking tennis lessons. And, yes, we also play pickleball. Just not the day before a lesson - it totally does a number on your tennis form.

After decades in the recovery world, I have learned from my recovery heroes that success, inspiration, motivation - those things are all fleeting. They are not long haulers. And what I love about knowing this, is that I notice what is left behind. When all that runs out what's left?

Do the next right thing, no matter how small. Forget success, inspiration and motivation. It's fun when it's there - enjoy it while you've got it - but plan for when it leaves because they are all fickle.

To trick my brain that is hardwired for panting after success, I've chosen to embrace action as an indicator of success. My brain is learning to accept what I actually believe is true based on my experience - our whole life is one giant experiment. Progress is only made when we make choices, take action, notice what happens, refine the plan and do the next thing that makes the most sense.

I'm pretty energized with this way of living. My goal is do something and notice, not do something and achieve a particular outcome. The DOING is the winning.

I have a friend who has needed to reset herself this summer and she is doing a bang up job. It started with cleaning her room. She bucked and resisted and planned and procrastinated until one day, we decided: she was going to clean her room starting right....now. And she would not stop until it was done. If she didn't know where to put something, unless it was a live human or beloved pet or a family heirloom - just throw it away. This certainly was incentive enough to find a place for everything she loves! I could gush on and on about how her life is morphing right before my eyes since she cleaned her room but I will wait to post about her when she runs for President in a decade or so.

Do. Evaluate. Redo. Reevaluate. Keep going. What dream do you have that needs to start with a thorough room cleaning? Let's go and get it done!

Roll Up Your Sleeves!

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.

Aristotle

Our “doing” center of intelligence mobilizes our energy to act on the thoughts and feelings of the other two centers. If we cannot act on what we believe is right and what we feel is fair, no one benefits from our thoughts or feelings. Through its capacity for imagination and innovation, it steadily moves toward completion of the tasks that vision and value call for. It is best at creativity.

Well. First off, I struggle to trust what I believe and give it the thumbs up for being right. And I am not great at fairness. Honestly. I’m not. Objectivity is not my strong suit. I am reactive, especially when I feel like someone is putting my peeps in danger or not looking out for the interests of the common good.

My heart breaks when I see how hard it is for us to listen to one another. I cannot believe it when folks don’t seem to understand their value and worth. It drives me crazy when people are so quick to judge others and justify themselves - especially when that person is me!!! Shouldn’t I know better? As my grandchildren like to say, “Oh yes you should!”

So when my feelings are hurt and my thinking is stinking, what saves my bacon is rolling up my sleeves. Do the next right thing. I have found value in doing inconvenient things for people who would not do the same for me. I find that I am better balanced when I focus on doing the next right thing without evaluating whether or not it will make a damn bit of difference.

Can we do all that we want in the age of the coronavirus? No. But there is still plenty to do. We can phone friends; we can deliver gifts to people and leave them on their doorsteps (thanks Julie for teaching me that one); we can use funny emoji’s and text people. We can try to be kind. Did I mention also that we can show up for annoying zoom meetings? (Misery loves company.)

May you find your doing groove this week!

So roll up your sleeves, put your mind in gear, be totally ready to receive the gift that’s coming when Jesus arrives. Don’t lazily slip back into those old grooves of evil, doing just what you feel like doing. You didn’t know any better then; you do now. As obedient children, Let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God’s life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, “I am holy; you be holy.”

1 Peter 1:13-16 The Message