Positive Faith: Assume the Best

How else can we practice positive faith?

Assume the best of others.

Now, if you haven’t been with me up until now then I know I will have lost you with this one. I am not kidding when I say this is hard work. But I’m also not kidding when I say I believe this is a muscle that we can stretch and grow. Assuming the best is a skill that can be learned.

And maybe assuming the best is asking too much. Perhaps we can simply start by learning not to assume the worst.

How do we do this?

When someone does something that pisses you off and your instincts kick in and tell you it’s because they don’t actually care about your or want to create your downfall or some such thing, follow these steps:

1. Take the time to brainstorm some alternatives. Why else could they be doing this? Might it be just simple carelessness? Might it be an accident? Maybe something happened in their life that threw them off their game?

2. Have conversations with people when they hurt you and allow them to speak to their side of things. You will often find that your assumptions were totally off base once you hear the other person out.

This little exercise trains us, over time, to recognize that the things we assume about people are rarely spot-on- and this helps us manage our assumptions.

Re-Framing Failure

Here is the thing about failure. It's like problems. It is inevitable. We will always have problems and we will always experience failure as long as we live. This is called reality. And it's not all bad news. Failure inspires innovation and creativity. Aren't sticky notes, one of my favorite school supplies EVER, the result of a failure to create something else?

Why, oh why, do we ever think that avoiding failures and problems is even a thing? It's NOT a thing.

So here is what is THE thing: horrific failures and huge disappointments are inevitable. The question is, what are we going to do about them? Are we going to allow them to define us or will we use them to teach us? I am sure there are plenty of GIFs and memes about how failure is a good thing. Failure is not a good thing. It is a useful necessity.

So I personally do not celebrate failure. I cry and pout and gnash my teeth and eat a jar of peanut butter. But eventually, I try to leverage the experience for change. Pain, it turns out, is necessary for growth.

So while we are all running around and trying to avoid failure, I ask you to reconsider: what are we losing by playing small, by being so afraid of failure that we shortchange our potential for growth...and dare I say it, even success.

What if You’re Wrong?

Jesus showed us that we need to open our minds to think differently (the parables are all written to shock the listener into a new way of seeing, or what about when Jesus said, "you heard it said but I say unto you"...), we need to make different choices (love your enemy he said, visit Samaria he encouraged, love God more than your family is suggested, etc.), that we need to not just assume a feeling is a fact (fear not the angels keep telling us)... We need to get way more curious about things we believe we are right about and the things we think others are wrong about.

Here's my favorite question I hate to ask myself, "What if I am wrong?"

I'd suggest that each of us take a thought, belief, feeling or action that we THINK we are right about and turn it on its head. Let's ask ourselves - what if we are wrong? Go looking for the counter-position. Study it. See what you can learn. But remember - we have to be willing to start from the position of possibly wrong, not a defensive position of condescension.