What if You’re Wrong?

Jesus showed us that we need to open our minds to think differently (the parables are all written to shock the listener into a new way of seeing, or what about when Jesus said, "you heard it said but I say unto you"...), we need to make different choices (love your enemy he said, visit Samaria he encouraged, love God more than your family is suggested, etc.), that we need to not just assume a feeling is a fact (fear not the angels keep telling us)... We need to get way more curious about things we believe we are right about and the things we think others are wrong about.

Here's my favorite question I hate to ask myself, "What if I am wrong?"

I'd suggest that each of us take a thought, belief, feeling or action that we THINK we are right about and turn it on its head. Let's ask ourselves - what if we are wrong? Go looking for the counter-position. Study it. See what you can learn. But remember - we have to be willing to start from the position of possibly wrong, not a defensive position of condescension.

Not So Fast!

Technically we are still in the season of Easter and I continue to be obsessed with thoughts about both Christ's crucifixion and his resurrection. What does it all me for us, today? I know what I have heard; I continue to read and reread the scriptures....but what does it mean right now for me as an individual and our community? What difference does it make, what beliefs, thoughts, feelings and actions does it change for us today in real time?

As far as I can tell, John 12 is the most thorough recounting of what Jesus had to say about his own death. It also gives us a glimpse into the thought life of Judas - which has resulted in endless speculation over the years since. You'll remember that in the beginning of the chapter Lazarus (recently raised from the dead) and his sisters had Jesus over for dinner in their home. Martha served. Mary came in and anointed and massaged Jesus' feet with a pricey jar of aromatic oils - and Judas complained about the expenditure, suggesting that this money would have been better spent on the poor.

John does not leave us to wonder about the motivations of Judas because he adds, "He (meaning Judas) said this not because he cared two cents about the poor but because he was a thief. He was in charge of their common funds, but also embezzled them." (John 12:6, The Message). This clears up any confusion we might have about the motivations of Judas!

Jesus rebukes Judas and explains Mary's actions like this: "Let her alone. She's anticipating and honoring the day of my burial. You will always have the poor with you. You don't always have me." Ouch. Again, John 12:7-8, The Message

Here is what we know: Jesus is not clueless. He understands what is about to go down. "She's anticipating and honoring the day of my burial." He is also capable of prioritizing values within the framework of context. Jesus time and again teaches us to care for the marginalized, the neglected, the downtrodden, the imprisoned. And. He continues to need to guide his disciples and those who love him into the light. Jesus is not 'cause' driven so much as he is committed to his relationship with God, his father. And. He has choices.

He could choose to consider his own impact so vital that he does what it takes to hold onto his life and public ministry OR he could continue to remain faithful to the message his father asked him to deliver. We know what he chose.

I personally love that God breathes life into dry, dead bones. But this harder truth is still true - God also asks us to sacrifice, lay down our life for a friend, take the road less traveled. In a world that increasingly values individualism and loving those who agree with us, how can we ignore the road Jesus chose? He suffered. He suffered for people who were not willing to join him in suffering. Lazarus, who kept dipping his fingers into the offering plate. The crowd who chose to crucify Christ over the thief; his followers who shrunk back in fear once Jesus' fate became apparent. Peter, who for all his bravado ultimately denied Jesus three times. This is not who "they" are, this is who "we" are.

What's our next move?

Today Will Pass...

Bravery is acknowledging your fear and doing it anyway.

Cheryl Strayed

In a recent meeting I attended a very smart psychiatrist gave a great presentation on the topic of neuro-feedback. He had graphs and a powerpoint; it was awesome. We asked him to share during our Family Education Program about the latest research in this field as it relates to treatment of substance use disorder and other mental health challenges. He believes in this practice and has years of experience. It was both a humble and informed conversation.

At the end, one of the parents said, “Do you think this would be helpful for my child?” He replied, “Well, maybe. It’s expensive and time consuming. You could try this, or she could practice mindfulness and meditation.”

I’m not sure if he meant that the two were equivalent. But he clearly believed that some of the benefits of his skill are mimicked by the practice of mindfulness and meditation - which, for the record is free and accessible to all. Heck, you can research it on google or youtube if you want to know what that entails.

Sometimes it takes practice of sitting quietly, alone with ourselves, to become aware of our thoughts and feelings and motivations behind our actions. I personally consider this a way that I daily give homage to God. It is my small, humbling way of admitting that He is God and I am not. No distractions. Just me sitting at the feet of a big God.

I appreciate the value and right we have in this country to share our opinions and even peacefully protest as a way of expressing our beliefs. But I want to suggest to us that equally important is a deep dive in search of clarity about the “why” underneath the “what” and “how”. And our “why” cannot be found in busy “behaving” or even passionate believing. It isn’t found in doctrines and certainty. It is found, uncovered, laid bare, only when we are brutally honest with ourselves about our fears and insecurities, our doubts and prejudices, our wounds and our tendency to wound others.

So in this month of political upheaval and for many, personal crisis, I offer this simple prayer of protection:

The light of God surrounds me.

The love of God enfolds me.

The power of God protects me.

The presence of God watches over me.

Whenever I am God is, and all is well.

Amen

Feel protected, surrounded, enfolded, and watched over? Awesome, now pray this over the scariest, the meanest dude you disagree with and judge the most in the world.

One of the ways to unlock our habitual ways of thinking and seeing is through shock and awe. Either something amazing happens that gives us a glimpse of the majesty and splendor of our loving God, or perhaps something so scary that we are shocked into wakefulness about ourselves. Maybe we are given a medical diagnosis that scares us to death or someone we love dies. Something happens that disrupts our unconscious ability to believe that we are immortal or that life is fair and understandable. Whatever it is, we end up completely shocked and find ourselves disoriented and confused.

I for one try to avoid discomfort and confusion at all costs. But I have learned, recently, that discomfort and confusion are necessary companions if I want to live a meaningful life. Some days, I confess, I am not interested in meaning. I just want to enjoy a good hot chocolate beside a roaring fire and read a mediocre novel about a sad story that ends up all sunshine and rainbows.

But on days when that doesn’t happen, on most days, this kind of sugar rush and spiritual numbness is not fulfilling. So what’s a girl to do? If we are going to rise above our temptation to numb, ignore, or rationalize away the reality of life lived on life’s terms, how do we manage the pain and discombobulation that is inherent in such a life?

Here’s a quote that helps me:

This is not how your story ends. It’s simply where it takes a turn you didn’t expect.

Cheryl Strayed

I appreciate the discipline of knowing that today will pass. Shock inevitably gives way to other emotions, but eventually we find a new equilibrium. What I am suggesting is this - if we can find a way to calm our initial freak out over the shaking of our foundation with the knowledge that our journey continues and the world is not coming to an end, then we may be able to stay with the suffering long enough for it to do its work in us, rousing us to more maturity.

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

James 1:2-4 The Message

It is a good thing to know our true colors. It is a requirement in order for us to not judge the true colors of everyone else.

Awareness and Acceptance

Mindful awareness seeks to foster acceptance rather than judging one’s life experiences as right or wrong, good or bad, sick or well. It allows us to learn how to see our thoughts as “just thinking,” and teaches how to put our thoughts in their proper place. Just thoughts. Not the facts, hot commands, not instructions.

“The practice of mindfulness defuses our negativity, aggression, and turbulent emotions… Rather than suppressing emotions or indulging in them, here it is important to view them, and your thoughts, and whatever arises with an acceptance and generosity that are as open and spacious as possible.”*

One professor of psychology, John Teasdale, conducted a study using mindfulness meditation as a relapse prevention treatment for depression. He found it extremely effective. Mindfulness is not intended to change the content of our thoughts, but our attitude and relationship to the thought.

In some Christian communities, mindfulness and meditation are met with a bit of suspicion. Certainly this is not true for everyone, but it is a stigma that bears mention. Tomorrow, we will talk more about the practice, but for today, pray with me?

God, you have taught us in your word that we do not have to understand prayer or even be good at it in order to receive the gifts you have for us...the spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself prays for us through wordless groans.

Romans 8:26 NIV

Spirit, keep groaning! We so desperately need divine intervention today.

Amen.

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*Sogyal, S. (1992). The Tibetan book of living and dying. New York: Harper & Row, 123.

What is Validating?

We have talked about validation a lot lately. Sometimes when you talk about something a lot it starts to become confusing.

Actually, let’s start with the opposite. When it is communicated to a person that they should not have the experience they are having then they are invalidated. Our experience of an event is a combination of perception, thoughts, feelings, actions, etc. Validation, then, is the process of communicating that it is quite alright to have whatever experience you are having.

All feelings are welcome. How we think about them and how we act on them once they’re with us is an entirely different matter. But there is nothing inherently “wrong” with being furious (for instance). Life circumstances are going to make us furious, from time to time.

Validation is the process of communicating to another person that, however it is they are responding to life circumstances, their response is natural.

And let us consider each other carefully for the purpose of sparking love and good deeds. 25 Don’t stop meeting together with other believers, which some people have gotten into the habit of doing. Instead, encourage each other, especially as you see the day drawing near.

Hebrews 10:24-25, CEB