This is Not Suffering…This is Whining

Suffering is a great killer of faith. For people who are not only used to suffering but can also not avoid it? They perhaps handle it better. But for those of us who are reasonably comfortable? I wonder if we have gotten too out of touch with reality. I notice an awful lot of people acting like suffering should not exist at all.

Take me for instance. I ordered this piece of furniture on January 1, 2021. The handy email receipt told me to expect delivery on March 1st. I would have preferred it in January - but ok, I think, I can be flexible. I am a reasonable person; I realize that we are in the first year of a pandemic and I know that history teaches us that pandemics last two years. I can wait until March.

March and April come and go but still I do not have my piece of furniture. Estimated time of arrival? End of May. I start complaining about this as if it is a hardship. It is not. It is an expected result in the middle of a pandemic.

We humans have been complaining about our suffering since the beginning of time. God couldn't work fast enough to get Eve created and handed over to Adam. He did not need a single dating app or dating ritual - God just provided. Still with the complaining. One tree out of a whole garden off limits? Those two could not bear it. They had to nibble at its fruit. You know the rest of the story.

Ending suffering is a worthy cause. I spend parts of every day praying and pondering - how can we do more to end the suffering of families struggling with the epidemic of substance use disorder? If I had a magic wand, I would wave it.

But waiting on a piece of furniture is not suffering, it's called waiting. Suffering is when I think I am too special to have to wait - which reminds me too much of my toddler grandchildren who at least have age as an excuse for their need for immediate cookie gratification. A garden full of delicious offerings with one lousy tree considered out-of-bounds is not suffering, it's called denial of limitations. I confess that today I realize that if my sideboard never arrives, I'm still one blessed human.

Find Some Sunshine Today…

“Stand close to people who feel like sunshine.”

Unknown

My niece, my birthday twin, is in labor. I’m a little distracted. I’ve struggled to not be a prickly pear. Absent a pandemic I would have hopped in my car and driven to Georgia to stand or sit or pace with someone during this long wait for our new baby to arrive.

Last night there was a texting fest going on among some of us; much of it was hilarious. As I lay sleepless with anticipation in the middle of the night, I knew with great clarity that for all of us, to stand near to Kaitlin is to “Stand close to people who feel like sunshine.” Kaitlin is a woman who makes the sun look like it is not trying hard enough.

And so I drop my prickly pear attitude and accept what is, instead of wishing for what cannot be and allowing that to dampen my spirit. I wait from afar. I will meet this little peanut the first chance I get. In the meantime, I believe the best thing I can do is carry on and maybe find a little sunshine to spread around to others standing near me on this cold, wet, dreary pandemic day.

May we find some sunshine today, in ourselves and others. Follow the light!

Day 15: The Story of Mary

In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to the Galilean village of Nazareth to a virgin engaged to be married to a man descended from David. His name was Joseph, and the virgin’s name, Mary. Upon entering, Gabriel greeted her: Good morning! You’re beautiful with God’s beauty, beautiful inside and out! God be with you.

She was thoroughly shaken, wondering what was behind a greeting like that. But the angel assured her, “Mary, you have nothing to fear. God has a surprise for you: You will become pregnant and give birth to a son and call his name Jesus. He will be great, be called ‘Son of the Highest.’ The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David; He will rule Jacob’s house forever—no end, ever, to his kingdom.”

Mary said to the angel, “But how? I’ve never slept with a man.”

The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, the power of the Highest hover over you; therefore, the child you bring to birth will be called Holy, Son of God. And did you know that your cousin Elizabeth conceived a son, old as she is? Everyone called her barren, and here she is six months pregnant! Nothing, you see, is impossible with God.”

And Mary said,“Yes, I see it all now: I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve. Let it be with me just as you say.Then the angel left her. Mary didn’t waste a minute. She got up and traveled to a town in Judah in the hill country, straight to Zachariah’s house, and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby in her womb leaped. She was filled with the Holy Spirit, and sang out exuberantly, “You’re so blessed among women, and the babe in your womb, also blessed! And why am I so blessed that the mother of my Lord visits me? The moment the sound of your greeting entered my ears, the babe in my womb skipped like a lamb for sheer joy. Blessed woman, who believed what God said, believed every word would come true!”

Luke 1:26-45 The Message

And they wait. They believed what God said.

So unlikely - two women, one an old barren wife of a priest, the other a young virgin from a blue-collar neighborhood engaged to a carpenter. They knew. They understood. They worshipped. They waited.

What is something unlikely, but totally like God to do, that you need to know, understand, believe and wait for?

Day 15: The Story of Mary

In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to the Galilean village of Nazareth to a virgin engaged to be married to a man descended from David. His name was Joseph, and the virgin’s name, Mary. Upon entering, Gabriel greeted her: Good morning! You’re beautiful with God’s beauty, beautiful inside and out! God be with you.

She was thoroughly shaken, wondering what was behind a greeting like that. But the angel assured her, “Mary, you have nothing to fear. God has a surprise for you: You will become pregnant and give birth to a son and call his name Jesus. He will be great, be called ‘Son of the Highest.’ The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David; He will rule Jacob’s house forever—no end, ever, to his kingdom.”

Mary said to the angel, “But how? I’ve never slept with a man.”

The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, the power of the Highest hover over you; therefore, the child you bring to birth will be called Holy, Son of God. And did you know that your cousin Elizabeth conceived a son, old as she is? Everyone called her barren, and here she is six months pregnant! Nothing, you see, is impossible with God.”

And Mary said,“Yes, I see it all now: I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve. Let it be with me just as you say.Then the angel left her. Mary didn’t waste a minute. She got up and traveled to a town in Judah in the hill country, straight to Zachariah’s house, and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby in her womb leaped. She was filled with the Holy Spirit, and sang out exuberantly, “You’re so blessed among women, and the babe in your womb, also blessed! And why am I so blessed that the mother of my Lord visits me? The moment the sound of your greeting entered my ears, the babe in my womb skipped like a lamb for sheer joy. Blessed woman, who believed what God said, believed every word would come true!”

Luke 1:26-45 The Message

And they wait. They believed what God said.

So unlikely - two women, one an old barren wife of a priest, the other a young virgin from a blue-collar neighborhood engaged to a carpenter. They knew. They understood. They worshipped. They waited.

What is something unlikely, but totally like God to do, that you need to know, understand, believe and wait for?

Day 26: Patiently Waiting...

Presence – the ability to be fully present and attend to the whole of a person.

How in the world do we practice presence from six feet apart and wearing masks? Please do not misunderstand; I do not happen to be a person who thinks this is an unreasonable request. I just think it is hard for a variety of reasons, including our capacity to practice presence.

For example, I may be thrilled about the possibility of transformation in another person, unmindful that they really aren’t that interested in being transformed themselves. Sometimes people aren’t as ready for change as we are eager to see them transform. We must be wise and willing to allow people to have their own journey – and if we rush them, we are harming ourselves and disrespecting them. They will resent us, and perhaps rightfully so. Our willingness to practice presence is more valuable than any tips we can suggest for change.

Oftentimes the person not ready to to change is….us. Bummer. But that’s ok too. While we lean into our ambivalence there will be plenty of opportunities to notice if our decision to stay the same is more painful than the effort it will take to cooperate with change. If we can seek out people who can practice presence with us, we may find comfort as we try to decide our next right step.

During Advent we wait. After Advent we will wait. In the spiritual life there is a lot of waiting. I guess that’s why patience is a fruit of the Spirit. We are rounding the corner in anticipation of not only Advent, but a new year. I assume it will have its highs and lows like this one did. I pray 2021 is gentler than 2020 was - but who knows?

I pray that you will be patient with yourself, and those you love. God may be working in the silent, unseen spaces. It’s ok to take your time. God’s still at work.