Your worry is not a problem for God.
Last week we began a series we’re calling, Heroes of the Faith: Why You’re Not As Bad As You Think. We’re going through the list of heroes that you can find in Hebrews 11 and, for the most part, in chronological order. This week we’re talking about Abraham.
Here’s a little breakdown of events from Abraham’s story. This is a long story with a lot of juicy details- but I’m going to give you the broadest possible overview for the sake of a shorter (but still long) post.
In Genesis 12 God calls Abraham (then called Abram) to a new land and promises to make to bless Abraham and his many descendants (he currently is 75 years old with zero children). Side note: this is a significant promise to a nomadic people who are hunter-gatherers. Promising land is to promise security, home, longevity, and so on. It’s basically promising heaven.
During his travels to the new land, Abraham and his wife, Sarah, pass through Egypt. Despite his standing before God, Abraham is quite afraid of what will happen to him in Egypt. Sarah, apparently, is quite beautiful. Abraham decides that the best way to save their skins is to tell the Pharaoh that Sarah is his sister as opposed to his wife so Pharaoh can be charmed by her beauty and spare them their lives. The plan backfires. Pharaoh is so charmed by her beauty he wants to marry her. God intervenes and sets plagues on Pharaoh- Pharaoh is upset and confused by Abraham’s dishonesty and sends them away. You’d think he’d learn his lesson, but this whole story happens again somewhere else a number of chapters later.
Abraham and his extended family settle down and experience a great deal of wealth. There is a bunch of inner-family conflict, and Abraham conducts himself pretty well. In this section God re-affirms His plans for Abraham multiple times. In the second instance, Abraham voices concerns about this plan to God because he still has no children- and suggests that perhaps his heir will be a surrogate born from a “slave woman” Side note: I have no way of making this seem better than it is. We’re talking about ancient, primitive people here. God assures Abraham that is not how He will accomplish His plans and He assures Abraham that His plans will be accomplished.
Abraham and his wife try the surrogate plan anyway, despite what God has said. Ishmael is born. There is conflict between Sarah and Hagar (the “slave woman”). Things are not looking good.
God again comes to talk to Abraham and again affirms His promises- including the promise of a child. Also, Sarah laughs at God’s promise because she doesn’t believe it. God confronts her about this and she lies saying, “I did not laugh.” God responds, “Oh yes, you did laugh.” I guess my parents were right- God doesn’t miss a thing.
God and Abraham have a debate about Sodom and Gomorrah (look it up if you want to know more- this would definitely take too much space for our purposes today).
Abraham continues his journey and- you guessed it- when he goes through King Abimelech’s land Abraham tries to pull the whole “my wife is really my sister” gag again- with the exact same effect and consequences. Note that God says nothing to Abraham about His actions in either wife-sister story, but He is rather upset with the kings who take Sarah to be a wife.
Abraham and Sarah have a son, Isaac, as promised.
At last we find ourselves in Genesis 22. Here God asks Abraham to sacrifice his son, Isaac, who Abraham and Sarah have been waiting for this entire story. It says explicitly at the beginning of this story that God tested Abraham- so we know God has no intention of harming Isaac. I understand that doesn’t make this story any easier to swallow- but there’s not much else I can say about the test itself here without getting really far afield.
Abraham, for his part, responds to God’s test by taking his son up on a mountain and creating an altar. He sacrifices a ram and names the place, “God will provide.” Angels from the Lord stop Abraham from sacrificing his son and God, again, affirms His covenant with Abraham.
What are we to make of a story like this? Does Abraham come across like the ultimate hero?
On the one hand, Abraham's story becomes the classic hero's journey in this story with Isaac. He's called to a mission, young, but not yet ready, he experiences some really low low's, but ultimately comes out of all of this prepared to respond to the call that really matters.
Now, that's a great Bible story. But, on the other hand, I think it can be a mistake for us to look at the stories in overview form because we miss the nuance and the details both of the people and of God.
Imagine what God is thinking, in the moment, when Abraham presents Sarah as his sister when she's really his wife. Or when Abraham doubts God’s ability to accomplish His plans to God’s face. Or when Sarah laughs at God’s ability to accomplish His plans. Or when Sarah, despite her knowledge of God's covenant with Abraham brings Hagar in the mix to have a child. Or, even after God has brought them through tough times, and delivered a child, Abraham, out of anxiety presents his wife as his sister again, because he's afraid he's not going to get through it.
Yes, God tests Abraham at the end of this story. But let’s not miss something really significant here. This is also fundamentally a story of God sticking by someone who he has committed to in spite of the fact that Abraham has done quite a bit of nonsense.
Abraham's doubt is not really a problem for God. His anxiety does not pose a major problem for God. If it did, God could have or should have shifted plans far earlier.
For all these reasons, I believe this test at the end is God getting confirmation of what He knows to be true- as opposed to a desire to abandon His plan. We could look at it and say, Abraham grew up. Or we could look at it and say, yes, Gods choice was confirmed and vindicated. There is no new information here.
What we have, in Abraham, is not a hero whose faith is beyond compare. We have a little guy, so to speak, consistently afraid that the bigger guy is going to take his stuff. He schemes and acts out of his insecurities despite direct contact with God and His angels. Yes, he passes “the test,” so to speak, but his life was unquestionably messy and God stood by Him all along, offering not a word of condemnation, and voicing only support.
I sat through a bible study in my late 20's where someone said that the absence of fear and anxiety was the sign of Christian maturity. I'd say to that person, you might want to read the story of Abraham.
God called him before he'd done anything and stuck with him when he did questionable things...because, at the end of the day, this fear and anxiety was not a problem for God. He had a plan, and He knew how He was going to accomplish it. Through Abraham, no matter how imperfect he may be.
I would suggest the same is true today. God has a plan, and He is going to carry it out however He has decided to. Whatever your fears and anxieties about God are in the process, they are not a problem for God. He's not going anywhere.
