Day 26: Patiently Waiting...

Presence – the ability to be fully present and attend to the whole of a person.

How in the world do we practice presence from six feet apart and wearing masks? Please do not misunderstand; I do not happen to be a person who thinks this is an unreasonable request. I just think it is hard for a variety of reasons, including our capacity to practice presence.

For example, I may be thrilled about the possibility of transformation in another person, unmindful that they really aren’t that interested in being transformed themselves. Sometimes people aren’t as ready for change as we are eager to see them transform. We must be wise and willing to allow people to have their own journey – and if we rush them, we are harming ourselves and disrespecting them. They will resent us, and perhaps rightfully so. Our willingness to practice presence is more valuable than any tips we can suggest for change.

Oftentimes the person not ready to to change is….us. Bummer. But that’s ok too. While we lean into our ambivalence there will be plenty of opportunities to notice if our decision to stay the same is more painful than the effort it will take to cooperate with change. If we can seek out people who can practice presence with us, we may find comfort as we try to decide our next right step.

During Advent we wait. After Advent we will wait. In the spiritual life there is a lot of waiting. I guess that’s why patience is a fruit of the Spirit. We are rounding the corner in anticipation of not only Advent, but a new year. I assume it will have its highs and lows like this one did. I pray 2021 is gentler than 2020 was - but who knows?

I pray that you will be patient with yourself, and those you love. God may be working in the silent, unseen spaces. It’s ok to take your time. God’s still at work.

Day 27: Strengthening Our Ability to Give and Receive Love

I wonder, no, that’s not accurate, I am pretty sure I KNOW that our limited social interactions have made this year extremely difficult regardless of our situation. Homebound or essential worker - everyone has something to complain about. As we approach Christmas, I wonder if it might be good to take a few blogs to think about spirituality and its place in our life. Perhaps it could help us find some comfort or guidance during these difficult days.

Although spirituality comes in a variety of forms – all who seek after spiritual truths have one common element to their worship – they long to be connected. This connection, however expressed, includes a connection with God and others. So being quarantined cannot be great for our spirituality, right?

Experts hasten to add that it should also include a good connection with self. Learning to love God, self and others seems like one of those things we must not lose heart and grow weary in the doing. I believe it is important for another reason. People who lose all sense of connection lose all hope. This feeling of “disconnect” may not seem logical to those who love the hopeless one, but this feeling of invisibility seems to be a hallmark for the depressed and suicidal. Clearly, I don’t have the power to restore hope to the hopeless – that is God’s department. But I do believe that each of us bears the “burden” of responsibility to be a spiritual friend. (This is one of those concepts that should thrive within the limits of healthy boundaries – learning how to love God, self and others well.) I confess, this study comes out of a deep, hurting place within me. I am asking questions and seeking answers about how each of us can strengthen our ability to both give and receive love.

Right now, it all seems very hard.

Day 28: Carrying the Message of Lovingkindness

I have the grand privilege of visiting a local treatment facility in our community on a regular basis. I love that place! I have missed my visits while practicing social distancing. One of the reasons I enjoy my visits is because of the hospitality. I am always greeted warmly and with great enthusiasm. Sometimes I pop down there just for a cup of kindness. In a world that is sometimes harsh and unwelcoming, it’s nice to have a place to go where people treat you like you’re special.

According to scripture, this kind of lovingkindness should be the hallmark of all our relationships. I remember a time when we used to hang out in public that I ran into my local gas station for my daily cup of coffee. I was standing patiently in line, waiting to buy my java and chat with my friends behind the counter. A lady came in and rammed me and several other patrons out of the way. She was rude, and she knew it. This is not the first time I’ve experienced this, nor will it be the last. But the thing that really got to me was that she didn’t even care! She knew she was pushing her way past three previously patiently waiting customers, but by gosh, she felt she was entitled! She treated my buddies behind the counter like they were her personal servants! She was demanding, and with all her snazzy clothes and sporty car—quite frankly, it made her look very unattractive. I’d say it added a good ten pounds of entitlement.

The contrast between her belligerent behavior and the warm kindness of the guys in my favorite rehab facility was startling. This lady (from all appearances) had a lot of stuff those guys don’t have right now: she had wheels, she had money, and she had really great clothes. But what my friends in treatment have far outweighs all that stuff; they have gratitude. They are grateful to have a warm place to stay while they heal. This gratitude just spills out of most of them and onto anyone who comes through the door. I have spent the better part of my day marveling at how differently we can perceive our worlds. Depending on our viewpoint, life can be marvelous with little or miserable with much.

“So, my dear friends, don’t get thrown off course. Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of light. There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle. He brought us to life using the true Word, showing us off as the crown of all his creatures.”

James 1:16-18 The Message

One indicator that we’re awake spiritually is when we’re grateful for the privilege of carrying the message of lovingkindness with us wherever we go, no matter the circumstances surrounding us. And it certainly doesn’t hurt to treat the essential workers among us with courtesy as we travel.

Day 29: Blessings Come in Many Forms...

“My cup brims with blessing…”

Psalm 23

I do not know the answer to most of the questions people often ask me. I do not know why bad things happen to good people. I have only a rudimentary understanding of why the Old Testament has a lot of fighting stories in a timeline that promises the coming of the Prince of Peace. But I believe that spiritually awake people can relate to Psalm 23, when David says, “My cup brims with blessing…” The scriptures describe blessings in various ways, including: we were once in darkness, and now we are children of the light. Once we were lost, and now we are found. Once we were separated from God, and now we live in communion with Him. What a bunch of blessings! What else does it mean and how does this apply to our lives?

Is a blessing getting our way, getting what we “want,” sitting on a balcony at a beach, or running on a trail through farmland at Virginia Tech? Is a blessing browsing through a great music store and then finding the perfect afternoon snack on The Corner at UVA? Is a blessing found in a good book, a cup of hot chocolate, a cozy fire, and an overstuffed chair? Is it a blessing spending the weekend with great friends and beating your husband at bridge? Is it kayaking? Is it that beautiful moment when your children are all fully engaged in a conversation that has everyone in stitches? All these things I love; are they my blessings?

“My cup brims with blessing…” Is a traumatic life event in childhood a blessing? Is having your boyfriend break up with you—after finding a replacement—a blessing? Is an eating disorder a blessing? Is having someone you love suffer from the horrors of addiction a blessing? Is financial loss a blessing? Is chronic illness a blessing? I have completely lost my ability to label life events in the “seen” world as “blessing” or “curse.” Some of my greatest hurts have turned out to be my all-time greatest blessings. And although I enjoy sitting and running and browsing and snacking and reading and great friends and winning and kayaking and laughing—and feel incredibly blessed to have these precious things in my life—I am not so sure that some of the things I’ve cursed in life aren’t also blessings. I think David is reminding us of this truth when he weaves us through green pastures, quiet waters, paths of righteousness, valleys of the shadow of death, evil, comfort, dinner with our enemies, and the hospitality of head anointing. David believes. David believes that a plan in the unseen world often leads to strange and mysterious twists and turns in the “seen” world. May God give you a delight in the roller-coaster ride of life; may He equip you with “God-vision goggles” so that you have a vision for more than what can merely be seen. May He give you peace in the process and the courage and stamina necessary to be the Prince or Princess Warrior that He has created you to become, so that you can carry that message of hope - especially in this seemingly hard-to-find-hope times.

Day 30: Thanksgiving

If you are reading this blog in a timely fashion - you are amazing. And it is Thanksgiving morning. Clearly, you are not cooking the turkey this year!

Who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed? He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Isaiah 53:1-3

I trust that part of your spiritual awakening involves a growing awareness that all that glitters is not gold. No one has the “perfect” Norman Rockwell family. My prayer is that you will use your tools to approach this day without expectations and dreams of fantasy families.

I’m asking God to remind us that Norman Rockwell had plenty of time to edit out of his idyllic paintings the political sniping, the passive aggressive digs, the over-indulgences, the flatulence. He never included in his backdrop a contentious football game between rivals.

I’m asking God to remind us that the baby in the manger, who some of us may put on our mantles this evening once we clean up today’s turkey remnants, looks cute with a couple thousand years to edit the experience, throw some tinsel on it, and turn it into a Hollywood production. But Jesus probably wasn’t even born on Christmas Day - it’s just the day that worked as a convenient celebration. And you know why the Christian Church chose this day? It turns out they wanted to deflect attention from a pagan holiday that was already on the books for December 25th!

Brush past the trappings in your life and look for the real deal.

Wherever you are, there you be. I pray that you will remember today how much God loves you!