Another Source of Strength…

In Matthew 15 we find the story of the Canaanite woman who had a demon possessed daughter that she desperately wanted Jesus to heal. He did not rush to do so but she persisted. Eventually he admitted that he had never seen anyone who had as much faith; he granted her request. Her daughter was healed.

From Jesus’ faith perspective, the Canaanites were not part of his community. They were polytheistic so who knows how many gods they worshipped? Historically, Baal was their favorite. This mother did not care that she did not have the correct religious pedigree and she obviously chose Jesus for a reason. She knew what she knew, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me!” (Matthew 15:22) She knew who he was, where he came from, what he stood for.

But did Jesus know her? Or was her identity as a Canaanite a disqualifier? Was she not special enough to receive healing for her kid from Jesus? That was the question. And it appears it was a legitimate question. The healing power of Jesus did not just flow from him like streams of living waters.

What opened the faucet of healing? His wonder at her faith!

On what basis are you doubting that God has you in his hands? By whose standard do you fear you are coming up short? Dear Lord, I hope it is not Facebook!

So while we all cast about on Facebook for good ideas to help us survive our strange and un-ordinary lives, give some consideration to the possibility that there might be another source of strength, another place to run, a God who hears, sees, loves and heals.

Don’t Forget What it Feels Like to Be a Stranger

“Small shifts in how you think make a tremendous difference in how you feel.”

Erica Layne

In my journal of what NOT to do when I got old, I had this little gem in there: Do NOT forget what it is like to not be the cool kid. We moved a lot when I was growing up. Sometimes I’d just be getting my sea legs in one town and we’d be off to the next. I know what it feels like to not be the cool kid. I understand what it feels like to be invisible.

This “knowing” is one of the reasons Pete and I chose to stay in Richmond and raise our kids in the same house. There were options over the years to move but we found a way to maintain this home base. Consequently, I did not get any cooler, but I was able to find my way to the grocery store. I learned to have preferences for which checkout line to slide into. When I walk in my neighborhood I may not know all the names of the people but I recognize most of the faces. It would be easy for me to forget what it feels like to be a stranger, even if I never will know what it means to be cool.

In Mark 10, people were bringing their kids to Jesus for his blessing and the disciples did not like it. They shushed and prodded the parents to take those kids away. Jesus rebuked them. He told them that no one was getting into the kingdom of God UNLESS they were willing to receive the kingdom of God like a little child. And then because he was not the kind of son of God who talked a big game without actually entering into the contest, he blessed those kids.

Kids were not cool in Jesus’ time; they were invisible. Jesus valued them anyway.

So take heart! If you have ever felt like a stranger, uncool kid, or beggar asking for Jesus to bless you - it is clear that Jesus hears you, sees you, reaches out and grabs you in for a big old pre-covid hug.

But also - beware! Beware that in our shift from an invisible person to a loved-by-God human we do not forget what it was like to be on the other side of that invisible barrier.

And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.

Mark 10:16 NIV

Becoming a Trustworthy Listener

“One of the most powerful truths we can offer our children is the knowledge that we’re ALL still learning. None of us have arrived; we all have room to grow.”
Erica Layne

During pandemic stress management I have done a TON of cleaning up. During one frenzied afternoon I found a stack of old journals. Evidently, I have been more faithful at journaling and praying than I realized! One journal included a list of things I did NOT want to do when I was old. I’m pretty sure when I wrote this list I thought that would be 40.

Now that I am legitimately almost old enough to qualify for the covid vaccine I thought a review of the list was in order. I stopped cleaning and started reading. Here’s my number 1 thing I DID NOT want to happen:

#1 - Never, never ever start to believe, much less say, that I feel like the “kids” today are not respectful enough of their elders. I’m kind of sensitive when “older” folks complain about the younger generation. Why? Because this happens every stinking time one generation gives way to the next! I do not know WHY as we age we tend to grow loose-lipped about our disdain for youth. Early onset dementia, perhaps? Have we forgotten that our generation was assailed as being the WORST. D*^& long haired hippies. Sex crazy maniacs. Draft dodgers…..as I recall, it was a pretty long list. The adjectives have shifted a bit, but this still continues today.

I’m reminded of John 4 when Jesus makes a side trip to Samaria (a place people usually rerouted their gps to avoid) to have a conversation with a young woman who I suspect the elders in the village did not approve of. Jesus teaches us (and her) through the course of a conversation that he knows every single thing about her - even the stuff she wishes no one knew. As a result of this conversation and her subsequent actions, many Samaritans came to believe that Jesus was God’s son. She is the first person Jesus revealed his true identity. He was trustworthy with her secrets; he trusted her with knowing him fully. It’s a fantastic story on so many levels.

This urge we have to be superior - whether it is older, wiser, smarter, more successful, faster, etc., - it does not serve us well. Jesus had every right to pull rank and teach, lecture, instruct, that young woman. What did he do? He entered into a conversation with her. If you read the text carefully, I believe you will find that he initially did two things: 1. Prove that he knew her at the deepest level and 2. invited her to get to know him in that same way. Her receptivity allowed him to proceed to the third: invite her to participate with him in the coming of the kingdom of God.

I wonder if we could be imitators of Christ in this way, listen to one another, learn to trust others with our shame story, learn how to be trustworthy hearing the shame stories of others, could we become part of the solution?

Cultivating Your Tribe…

“Tell your story. Shout it. Write it...Some won’t understand it...But many will thank you for it. And then the most magical thing will happen. One by one...your tribe will gather. And you will never feel alone again.”

L. R. Knost

I encountered an exotic creature in a recent zoom meeting - a woman who did not care, one iota, what most people thought of her. She cares deeply about people. She advocates for the vulnerable among us. But she only cares about how a handful of people experience her. And it is not because she wants their approval! She wants their respect. She does not want respect handed to her; she wants to earn it. Their opinions help her gauge the effectiveness of her efforts.

I was bowled over by her way of seeing herself and the world. This is very, very different from my way of thinking. I am more inclined to ask for support and approval first, and only later consider if the ask was appropriate or the return on my vulnerability worth it.

She and I are opposite in some ways; I want to learn from her.

It seems to me that there is no true satisfaction in the road of adaptation to fit the expectations of others. If we adapt our story to gain approval or avoid judgment - what’s that acceptance worth? We are not being accepted for who we are, at best, we are being taken on face value - the image, the face that we painted on to mask the story we fear will not be good enough.

So this exotic creature with her internal sense of worth is not only colorful, she is authentic. Delightful. A force to be reckoned with! She is who she is, and feels best when she knows that those who like and love her are part of her life in a genuine, authentic way. Here’s what she said, “I would rather have fewer friends than to have a bunch of friends who I cannot trust to stay when I’m at my worst.”

Bravo.

I pray that each of us finds the tribe that gathers around us, not because we coerced them through image crafting, but because they appreciate a decent authentic relationship.

Aligning Your Values With Your Actions

“When you start to see your worth, you’ll find it harder to spend time with people who don’t see it too.”

Life on Purpose, Jan. 8.

Who do you want to become? How does your voting record reflect your intentions? I’m not talking politics, I’m talking intentions paired with actions, practices, and responsibility.

How do you want to define “worth”? It is our job to decide for ourselves what that means; how we live it out in the arena of family and community will determine whether or not we are telling ourselves the truth about what we value.

Today, notice how you vote.

Want to be a loving human? Ok, great. How did that show up when you got cut off in traffic, had a neighbor put up a sign you disagree with, or when someone hurt your feelings?

Want to be a decent parent? Ok, cool. How did that show up in the tone of your voice, your patience (or lack thereof), your presence, your humility and willingness to be a student of your child?

Want to be a valuable employee? Also fine. How valuable were you today?

Want to be a faithful person? How consciously did you walk with God and follow the tenets of your faith?

When we strive to match our voting with our values, we can appreciate our worth. We can value ourselves because we are living our values.

Today, consider taking a few minutes to reflect, breathe, and commit to your values.