Day 28: Carrying the Message of Lovingkindness

I have the grand privilege of visiting a local treatment facility in our community on a regular basis. I love that place! I have missed my visits while practicing social distancing. One of the reasons I enjoy my visits is because of the hospitality. I am always greeted warmly and with great enthusiasm. Sometimes I pop down there just for a cup of kindness. In a world that is sometimes harsh and unwelcoming, it’s nice to have a place to go where people treat you like you’re special.

According to scripture, this kind of lovingkindness should be the hallmark of all our relationships. I remember a time when we used to hang out in public that I ran into my local gas station for my daily cup of coffee. I was standing patiently in line, waiting to buy my java and chat with my friends behind the counter. A lady came in and rammed me and several other patrons out of the way. She was rude, and she knew it. This is not the first time I’ve experienced this, nor will it be the last. But the thing that really got to me was that she didn’t even care! She knew she was pushing her way past three previously patiently waiting customers, but by gosh, she felt she was entitled! She treated my buddies behind the counter like they were her personal servants! She was demanding, and with all her snazzy clothes and sporty car—quite frankly, it made her look very unattractive. I’d say it added a good ten pounds of entitlement.

The contrast between her belligerent behavior and the warm kindness of the guys in my favorite rehab facility was startling. This lady (from all appearances) had a lot of stuff those guys don’t have right now: she had wheels, she had money, and she had really great clothes. But what my friends in treatment have far outweighs all that stuff; they have gratitude. They are grateful to have a warm place to stay while they heal. This gratitude just spills out of most of them and onto anyone who comes through the door. I have spent the better part of my day marveling at how differently we can perceive our worlds. Depending on our viewpoint, life can be marvelous with little or miserable with much.

“So, my dear friends, don’t get thrown off course. Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of light. There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle. He brought us to life using the true Word, showing us off as the crown of all his creatures.”

James 1:16-18 The Message

One indicator that we’re awake spiritually is when we’re grateful for the privilege of carrying the message of lovingkindness with us wherever we go, no matter the circumstances surrounding us. And it certainly doesn’t hurt to treat the essential workers among us with courtesy as we travel.

Day 33: God, the Good Shepherd

What are we supposed to expect the day after Jesus’ birth? Maybe this is a good question to explore while we wait for his arrival. This is not our first holiday season rodeo. On December 26th people we love, even ourselves may still struggle, suffer, and definitely not end up perpetually perky - even if we love God with all our heart! What’s up with that? Is that normal? Does that mean we didn’t do this Advent thing “right?” How does this very big God respond to our human frailties? Maybe we are not as faithful as we think? Could that be it? Whose to blame here?!?

Scripture is loaded with references to a shepherd’s tools of the trade: the rod and the staff. Maybe thinking about them might shed some light on our lived experience as a child of God.

First, let’s consider the rod. The rod was the power weapon for a shepherd. Custom-fit for his size and shape, the traditional rod was made from a young sapling and carved with great care. The enlarged base remained a rounded head of hardwood. Shepherds might use the rod to bash in the head of a poisonous snake or to fend off a hungry lion. A wayward sheep might even feel the nudge of the rod as a way to get his attention. The rod had another use too. It was sometimes used to inspect the sheep, pulling away the wool to expose the skin. Without this careful inspection, diseases could go undetected—ultimately endangering the entire flock.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Psalm 139:23, 24 NIV

As a Good Shepherd, God doesn’t wake up every morning for the sole purpose of making us happy. He’s training us for a grand epic adventure (think step twelve). This training requires discipline (remember process not perfection). Sometimes God finds it necessary to whip out His rod too. If we value God’s refining fire of presence, we find comfort under the rod of His discipline. He doesn’t beat us with it. He uses it as a tool for examination purposes. No one likes it when the doctor uses a tongue depressor but we love it when she gives us medicine that cures our strep throat. May you enjoy God’s hand of discipline today, for it signifies His lovingkindness and intent to prepare you for an excellent adventure. When God takes the time to prod us with His rod—with His loving gaze focused solely on us—we are at that moment the object of His love and affection. This is awesome - to have God’s undivided attention!

A Moment of Lovingkindness

Lovingkindness - the combination of intention (love) and action (be kind) is a core value that most of us would say we believe in. Here is a prayer that fits this intention:

Lord, may I be at peace. Father, may my heart remain open. Holy Spirit, guide me as I seek to know myself, experience healing, and draw near to you. Grant that I might be a source of healing for others. Even as I am grateful to those who support my healing.

Amen

If this prayer fits your intentions, it might be a good to add to your prayer journal for easy reference and repeat use.

An Attitude of Acceptance

The scriptures remind us in so many ways how much God knows about us and how little we understand ourselves. Maybe today we could go to the source for our self-understanding. God, hear our cries!

While mindfulness encourages us to dis-identify with our thoughts, meditation does not. Meditators encourage us to simply observe, observe, observe. We are asked to observe our thoughts, feelings and body sensations. The only real caveat is that we are encouraged to have an attitude of acceptance and loving kindness toward ourselves. It is a simple way to practice surrender to God. I usually start my daily quiet time like this: “God, I am sitting here in acknowledgement of my reality: you are God and I am not.” Some days, that is all I need to say. Research studies are reporting that meditation is highly effective in the intervention of use disorders. It has also proven effective in the treatment of chronic pain, anxiety disorders and depression. Tiger spends an unhappy day thinking that his parents, friends, and school mates do not like him. How would this affect your mental health if you thought the world was out to get you? What difference would it make in your life if you looked through the lens of abundance rather than being shackled to the law of scarcity?

God makes everything come out right;

he puts victims back on their feet.

He showed Moses how he went about his work,

opened up his plans to all Israel.

God is sheer mercy and grace;

not easily angered, he’s rich in love.

He doesn’t endlessly nag and scold,

nor hold grudges forever.

He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve,

nor pay us back in full for our wrongs.

As high as heaven is over the earth,

so strong is his love to those who fear him.

And as far as sunrise is from sunset,

he has separated us from our sins.

As parents feel for their children,

God feels for those who fear him.

He knows us inside and out,

keeps in mind that we’re made of mud.

Psalm 103:6-14, The Message

Lovingkindness Embodied

“Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.”

Brene Brown

After my Uncle’s storm blew over, he looked spent and took his leave. Everyone offered a farewell in muted shock. There are plenty of people we might expect to blow their top in my family - this guy wasn’t one of them.

For whatever reason, and I suppose to no one’s surprise, I couldn’t let this go. I trailed behind him and leaned into the driver’s side door, my elbows and forearms screaming as they touched the hot metal of his Buick. He rolled down his window. I leaned in close.

“Uncle James, you do not seem to know this, but my mother loves you to pieces and you just devastated her. She admires you. She thinks you are the best Christian man she has ever known in her entire life and I have no reason to doubt her assessment. I don’t have any idea what happened in the past, but I am sure you have suffered more than she has over the years as a result of the decisions previous generations have made. My mom doesn’t have men in her life that she can call ‘good’. You’re it. Please fix this.”

I never saw him again. But I did learn that he fixed it with my mom. It didn’t take much because my mom was a primed pump ready to pour out her love on this older brother who was treated at best like a welcomed guest in her childhood home. My mother, a little acorn who, in my opinion, was not particularly well nourished herself and often lived in inhospitable conditions for growing lovingkindness, was a mighty oak tree of hesed.

Me? Not so much. I harbored resentment toward him. I am still cautious around folks claiming the label “good Christian.” But I have to give James credit; he made a wrong right. So although it was hurtful and messy, it turns out that my Uncle James was indeed a man capable of lovingkindness.

“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.”

Brene Brown