What should Christians think about sin?
What should Christians think about SIN?
When I was growing up my parents were less then religious...whatever that means. But my maternal grandparents, who I lived with in the summer (for as long as I could get away with) were SOUTHERN BAPTISTS and every Sunday we went to church. I paid strict attention. These folks were my haven, my safe place. Whatever they were doing with their life - I wanted to emulate. Here is what I learned:
1. I loved white grape juice but the crackers were always stale (Sunday School snacks do not change).
2. My grandmother cared very, very much about how she dressed and noticed how others dressed too - she always "won". She made her winter coats, her suits - all of it - and those clothes were amazing. This gave her discretionary income for matching hats, shoes, gloves and jewelry. She was a stunner.
3. My grandparents had one kind of relationship with the folks at church and a completely different kind of relationship with their friends - who they regularly played poker and drank A LOT with on Friday nights - which often resulted in what I called "Silent Saturday" - no talking allowed in the house.
4. I learned what a tithe was. Until my grandmother's dying day she sent a crisp $5 bill in her tithing envelope to that church - even though she moved away to live with my mother for years, never returned for a visit and the church itself forgot her (not willing to host her funeral).
5. I learned sin was bad, very bad, and if you did it, you disappointed Jesus - a white man with a long beard who after all died-for-me-on-the-cross-and-by-god-I-should-be-GRATEFUL that I still had not been smitten by the strong punishing arm of God seeing as how I had killed Jesus pretty much single-handed.
6. I came to learn that six pastors IN A ROW that they hired ended up running away with someone (church secretary, choir director, babysitter) which cost them their jobs and required yet another search committee to find the next pastor who redoubled his efforts - bigger, louder, more certain - that SIN was very, very bad.
That's a lot of a kid to take in and process. Especially a kid like me, in search of safety and love and affirmation. But I believed it. I believed sin was bad. In fact, I believed with such conviction that when the rare sermon would turn to God's love, grace and mercy - I thought, "What in the world are we talking about love for? LOOK AT ALL THE SIN. That'll be a fine sermon once all this SIN IS ERADICATED FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH."
Another thing happened to me while I was hiding out at my grandparents' home. One Saturday, when my grandmother left my grandfather and I unsupervised so that she could get her hair tinted blue and "set" for the week - an amazing thing happened. In a complete act of self-will and rebellion, my Papa bought me an encyclopedia set of books about the Bible from a door-to-door salesman. They were expensive. My grandmother was extremely, extremely frugal. She was madder than a hornet but I was the happiest little girl on the planet. I may have murdered Jesus, but at least now I could learn more about how to make it up to him.
Every summer, for the rest of my childhood, I spent every free second reading from Book 1 to Book 13 (plus the bonus books) about God. Included in this beautiful set of books was art - the amazing work of artists of old who tried to capture the majesty of God on canvas. The first books were written for children and I whipped through those - David and Goliath, Moses, Abraham and Sarah, all the basics. The writing became more challenging as I plowed through them, requiring me to slow down and grab a dictionary. I still have those books.
Here is what I learned, although it took decades to actually understand it. The Bible has a LOT to say about God. It is after all, his story. But what the Bible says and what humans report out about what they say the Bible says, are often two very different kettle of fish.
I am still like that little girl who slowly, carefully, navigated the history, convoluted sentences and majesty of God that I found in the encyclopedia of the Bible. I am still a gal who wants a world that is safe, loving and affirming except now my desire is on behalf of my children and grandchildren and....you. Through a series of unlikely fortuitous circumstances, I have been given the gift of knowing that much of what I was taught was wrong and that what is true is far better than I could have imagined. Basically, there is a lot I do not know.
But here is what I know. Sin is a complete distraction from the point. Sin is a gnat that God bats away with his mighty hand - gently of course, without malice. It's like this. God is totally in control. He doesn't need muscle. He doesn't need shame. He doesn't engage in manipulation and coercion to try to get us to love him more. The point, it turns out, is that love, grace, mercy, humility, justice, and lovingkindness - those are the points.
This makes it possible, therefore, to end up with a series of very human pastors who could not keep their zippers zipped without having to throw my faith away simply because these guys acted badly, very badly. We can smile gently, lovingly, at the vanity of my grandmother AND appreciate the fact that this depression-era woman found ways to give every single week to her church and not kill her husband when he bought his only granddaughter a set of expensive books (that would set the course of my life). We can look with compassion at that little girl who totally bought into the white Jesus who she possibly killed before she was even born AND trust that if you seek after God, he will not hide from you. I don't really know what to tell you about sin - except it happens. And of course, it matters. But it is not the main thing - not even close. And just so you know too - Jesus is not white.
