Sorting and Certainty? Not for Me!

Belief is tricky. In the faith of my youth, it was presented as an either/or, in or out proposition. We either believe and are “in” or we are unbelievers and are “out”. The price of admission was confession and acceptance of who God is and what Jesus did for us. If we were unwilling to do that we were labelled “those people”. I clearly got the message that to be “those people” is a very bad thing.

I was never comfortable with this sorting and certainty. I grew up watching pastors say one thing and do another. I observed Christians who behaved badly; I met some of “those people” who had no expressed belief in God yet as far as I could tell lived a Christlike life. How confusing! (Of course, I also met some awesome authentic Christians - but that is not the point of this blog!)

I confused myself too. I believed that God was trustworthy, but could not find a way to trust him with me. I could acknowledge that God was a wonderful Creator, gracious and loving, but did not believe that he had much interest in me one way or another. I felt unworthy but willing to try to earn his approval. Despite my efforts, God remained at best distant. On my worst days, he was frightening and I feared his judgment.

Have you ever felt that way? I no longer feel this way - most days. So what happened? How did I move through these confusing experiences?

To be continued….