Lack of self-honesty comes at a cost

There is a pernicious myth that continues to circulate among families in need of recovery that says that a person suffering from a substance use disorder must “hit bottom” before they are ready to recover. Often referred to as a moment of clarity, this magical bottom is supposed to be the eureka moment when, finally, the person with the SUD agrees that they have a problem and decide they want help.

“That’s why it may be tempting to take a hands-off approach to the problem, hoping that your relative or friend’s drug or alcohol problem will just go away - that he or she is just going through a phase and will get better with time. Or you may decide that treatment won’t help because your addicted friend or relative doesn’t want to make a change. But both of these beliefs are myths that can lead to more severe addiction and to greater family disruption. Addiction is a progressive disorder - it gets worse over time.”[2]

Resistance to seeing ourselves accurately is a stubborn bugger and we battle it at every stage of recovery and spiritual transformation. When we rigidly cling to our obsessions and compulsions, it is usually necessary to “let in” more reality before we are willing to surrender to the process of transformation.

I wonder, what was that pastor thinking when he railed about someone else’s stench? How did he sleep that night? How do I sleep at night when I do other, equally knuckle-headed things that are in no way an accurate reflection of the person I INTEND to become? As usual, there are “steps” we can take to not only increase our accuracy of self-assessment, but heal our wounds. And surely, much of what we say and do and think and feel is more a reflection of our need for healing than it is a reason to judge ourselves and others as failures in the faith department.

Sometimes we do things that embarrass ourselves. We can distract ourselves and pretty much guarantee that we will continue to feel bad about our behaving, or we can open ourselves up to change. But first, we have to be ready to change. According to step 6, we have to be ENTIRELY ready to change.

What is your reluctance to see yourself accurately costing you and those you love?

 2 Addiction Why Can’t They Just Stop?  David Sheff, Larkin Warren, Katherine Ketcham and Katherine Eban, Rodale Inc., copyright 2007, p.157.