Dial It Back: Social Intelligence

Restraint is a superpower when it helps us dial back our tendency to correct people when they are wrong or show off what we know. This is a tough one, because being smart is a high value commodity in the world and many of us have sacrificed much to earn our expertise in one area of life or another. But in this article, the author talks about social intelligence - understanding that nobody really wants to know how smart we are; they just want to know how we can “play a role in their life that benefits them.” Callous? Maybe. But isn’t it also true?

My friend Jean had a very intelligent father. He was also extremely curious - which is the trait I most admire and remember about him. He LOVED to tell stories, but he also LOVED to inquire about the life of others - hence, his repertoire of great stories! He was interested in everything and everyone. His face lit up when he saw someone new walk into a room. He just had this way of making others feel valued and special. In hindsight, I realize that he had the gift of restraint. It showed up in his capacity for listening.

How could you dial it back in terms of talking? How could you up your listening?

PS Maybe you are the introverted type and can give yourself credit for not being a chatting Cathy like me. But...what if you dialed back your silence and stepped up your active listening?