A Tale of Lovingkindness..

“What we know matters but who we are matters more.”

Brene Brown

My mother grew up as an only child, but she wasn’t one. Here’s what happened. My grandfather married a woman and had a little boy they named James. When James was a baby, his mother died of food poisoning. My grandfather went hunting and found a lovely young woman and married her with some haste. But not hastily enough. Since my grandfather had to work and knew nothing about raising no babies, James went to live with his paternal grandparents. When my grandfather remarried, he went to fetch James but his mother would not give him back. I judged my grandfather for his lack of rigorous pursuit in retrieving James. I suspect my mom did too.

My mother loved her brother with endless abandon. I was never quite sure where he stood in regards to his feelings about her until my grandfather died. The work of caring for my grandmother, closing up her home and resettling her with my mom, fell to my mom. She didn’t mind. My grandmother only had one specific request: make sure James gets his mother’s sewing machine. It was one of those antique wooden cabinets with the large pedal? I loved that thing.

It was a hot and humid August day when we drove down to clear out the house. James came by to pick up the machine late in the afternoon of the final day of moving. My mother was thrilled to see him. He, in turn, unleashed upon her decades of anger and resentment. No one in that house stood up for mother; they just listened as he ranted and raved. Now mind you, my poor mom had done everything in her power to love her brother. When his wife left him with a young child to run off with another man? My mother took that little boy into our home until James had found him another bride. And unlike her grandmother, she gave him back when asked. She had asked him to take ANYTHING from the house he wanted - frankly, there wasn’t much. He hadn’t even wanted the sewing machine, but my mom insisted on that point.

I was appalled. My entire life I had heard what a great Christian man my uncle was - is this what that meant? Was this hesed? No. But the story continues…