The Paradox of "Me" and "We"

Lately I have reread some of my favorite authors and added a few new ones to the mix. I chose them for their healing power, their capacity to inspire me, and their ability to teach me how to be responsible.

In isolation, we have time to really hone in on some personal responsibilities. That’s great. But here’s the thing that I feel in my bones and read about in the writings of others. Personal responsibility is a nice tool; it is not a very sturdy tool box. In other words, it’s great to work on ourselves - a must really. But if we lose touch with our responsibility to “other” - I’m not sure there is a tool or box big enough to satisfy what our soul longs for. Which is, of course, connection.

Pause and breathe.

Yesterday I suggested that we were too focused on “other”; today, I am suggesting that we are not focused enough on “other”. Don’t you just love a good paradox?

When we focus on “other” to fix “me”, to serve “me”, to tell “me” what to do and maybe do half of it for me, we are going to end up frustrated, resentful, depressed and ironically enough - self-focused. When we focus on taking responsibility for “me”, if we are like most people, we eventually discover that “me” is not enough. We need our “me” to intersect with the larger “we”. I need “we” for connection; if the gurus are right, this is a universal need. But if I only care about “we” for what it provides for me, I miss out on the healing powers of becoming a person who contributes to the “we”, not just sucks it dry.

For the next few days, I want to unpack community and core values within the context of accountability and responsibility. Stay tuned.