Day 21: Finding Joy in the Moment

Traditions often serve as sticky notes for our memories. One of my favorite traditions is when my friend Jean and I have our annual “cookie day”. Each year, early in December, we bake enough cookies to feed an army.

No one applauds our efforts. In fact, I can tell you that all our children (and both husbands) do not squeal with glee over all the cookies. These guys have the nerve to express preferences. Michael loves the cranberry with white chocolate. Scott grooves on the peanut butter topped with a chocolate kiss. Meredith and Carrie enjoy our efforts at healthy cooking – swearing that the ones with no sugar added, lots of zucchini and bananas are truly the best (which proves that our girls have interesting palates). All feel free to wonder aloud at some of our choices that they do not hesitate to give a thumbs down vote.

But here’s the secret to our success….we do not feel responsible for garnering the undying appreciation and unfettered approval of our families. We have a decades’ long tradition of cookie day…because it brings us joy! Every year brings a different kind of cookie day experience. A few years ago – a particularly difficult year of great loss – we cooked and cried. One year, we collectively celebrated a new baby in the clan and some marvelous spiritual breakthroughs. We felt festive, mostly. This year? We have not calendared it yet. We may be zooming our way through cookie day. Disappointing? Sure. But it will be one more memory Jean and I create and stuff in our memory chest of our shared life.

I suspect that many of us will adjust or even need to forego some of our long held traditions this year - if we are wise and do not want to create a super spreader event! Some of us will plow ahead and do exactly what we have always done and many who make this choice will be fine. But no matter where we end up in our decision making process, I pray that we will find joy. Joy in the moment. Acceptance of what is today, and hope for tomorrow.

We survive our crying Christmases by remembering the ones where we laughed with delight. Our joyous festivities are gratitude-filled when we remember the years when we brought our sorrow to the family gathering. This is how life works. Don’t give up on tradition - even if you have to find a work around!!