The Truth About Loneliness

It FEELS like loving people should not be lonely. It FEELS like loving our spouse and kids and friends and community should fill our love buckets to the brim and overflowing. And if I have to choose between the life I have - one with a spouse who is still my boyfriend, great kids who keep providing me more people to love by marrying and having children, friends I have had and loved for eons (one since we were months old) versus a life of isolation - I CHOOSE MY LIFE. My love bucket is filled to the brim and overflowing and I know how absolutely blessed I am to have it.

And I am lonely. Not all the time, but enough to know that loneliness is not an indicator of how much one loves or is loved.

Loneliness has been demonized as a function of depression or seasonal affective disorder - and I am sure that is true and good to know. Loneliness is a feature of postpartum depression and dementia and alcohol use disorder. If you google it, nothing positive pops up. There are loneliness quotes, synonyms and symptoms. There are articles on the science of loneliness and how it can kill you. All very dire stuff and probably true enough.

Monophobia is a disorder that describes an extreme fear of being alone and it explains that sufferers are incapable of functioning solo. Deprived of company, they experience panic attacks and are often gripped by a paralyzing fear of death.

I wonder if all this fear mongering about loneliness has marginalized us from some of the more healthy spiritual practices that might just help us grow spiritually?

I continue to be struck by the outrage of Americans demanding to return to church in the middle of a pandemic. Are they right? Is failing to congregate going to be as deadly as COVID-19?

Let’s explore that. Stay tuned.

When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place.

Matthew 14:13 NIV