Change is possible if you do THIS
Step 2: We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
We are in the midst of a series on the 12 steps and exploring how they might be used beyond recovery circles (though including, of course, how they are used there).
In terms of how I approach writing and talking about anything I always ask myself, What is the essence? What is the essence of whatever it is I am meant to say something about. I ask myself this because, if I don’t have some idea about the heart of the matter then it could be the case that I’m getting ready to miss the point entirely.
Russell Brand- actor, comedian, writer, and provocateur is a person in recovery and he has written his own version of the 12 steps. Now, he enjoys pushing buttons and so there is some foul language in his 12 steps. That’s your warning. If you need to go grab some pearls so that you can clutch them as you read his version of steps 1 and 2…do it now. I’ll leave a few extra line spaces in here to give you a minute.
Here goes. From Russell Brand’s, The Program.
Step 1: Are you a bit f*cked? (editor’s note: instead of that star, imagine there’s a U)
Step 2: Could you not be f*cked? (ed note 2: imagine the U again)
Okay, so his versions are almost too short for us to see the essence right away. I love how he’s formatted The Program though. These are questions, not statements. It is up to you to decide how you want to answer the questions.
In the spirit of that, here is how I imagine Brand sees the essence of steps 1 and 2: Do you believe you’ve got some problems that have gotten completely out of hand? Do you believe that if you make some radical changes you can get better?
Much of the talk that surrounds step 2 is about this “power greater than ourselves.” What/who is that power? Do I have to believe in god to believe in a power greater than myself? Which god do I have to believe in? What if I don’t believe in god!?
These questions are answered quite easily in 12 step communities: this doesn’t have to be about god, you just have to believe that change comes from somewhere outside of yourself.
But this doesn’t quite feel like the essence to me. No- I’d point to something else altogether: hope.
As far as I’m concerned, we’re not meant to be bogged down by questions about what we need to believe in (though, of course, what we believe in is very important to me). Instead, we have the opportunity to believe that change is possible.
You see, we often read step 2 as if it says, change is possible IF you give up. And, when we read it like that, it can sound pretty hopeless.
A different way of saying something quite similar might be: change is possible IF you stop fighting yourself.
That, to my eye, feels much closer to the essence of step 2. We need reminders that change can happen. Full stop. We need those reminders often. And, we talked about this a little bit last week as well, there’s a little bit of a wild dynamic at play when it comes to getting sober. People have told me quite often that they feel like it becomes easier to stop doing something when you stop trying to stop.
This is not the same thing as giving up, but it is about giving up a certain kind of battle with yourself. Entering treatment, entering a 12 step room, or simply calling and asking someone else for help is a way of ending the battle with yourself. This happens by inviting in some outside voices (aka asking for help). When you do this, someone else says, “Try doing this for a while,” and all of a sudden you’re doing something as opposed to trying so damn hard NOT to do something.
That’s the essence, isn’t it? Can we acknowledge that change is possible and we need some help?
The funny thing is: now we’re talking about something completely universal. You don’t need to have a substance use issue to see the brilliance of this. We spend so much time feeling hopeless about things. Maybe feeling hopeless about how we feel. Or hopeless about someone else’s life and/or their life circumstances. Or about the nature of society. Or our jobs. Or our romantic relationships. Or whatever.
Regardless of the source of the problem: change is possible.
The question then becomes: How do you want to try to change? Who are you going to seek out? What are you going to try?
I don’t know how you feel about that- but I find that way more interesting than, “Which higher power do I choose?”
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18, NIV
