Providing help gives God joy

Step 6: We became willing to ask God to help us remove our defects of character.

What’s your experience like with asking for help? Anything ever get in the way?

I’m not a betting man…but if I was, I’d bet you don’t care for it. 

Why?

We’re culturally conditioned not to ask for help. We’re brainwashed from the time we’re knee high to a job that the most important thing in the universe is providing for yourself so that you never experience “need.” As if it’s somehow good for us not to experience need. As if it’s good for us to avoid feeling desperate. As if it’s good for us not to rely on others. As if it’s good for us to be in control (or feel like we are). 

We’re so brainwashed we think that this isn’t just a good way to live- that it’s God’s way to live. God blesses the good and puts a hedge of protection around them and prevents harm from befalling them. In order to believe this, though, we have to ignore the book of Job, where a righteous person suffers just because. We would have to ignore Jesus’ own words- where he teaches that rain falls on “good” and “bad” alike (aka, people of all kinds experience up’s and down’s in life regardless of how good or bad they are). We would have to ignore Jesus’ words in Luke 13, where he reminds his disciples that people who experience a tragedy are no worse than anyone else (save for being unlucky, perhaps…but that’s not the word Jesus uses). 

This legitimately makes me angry. I’m mad as hell and I can’t take it anymore. I was recently forced to listen to a sermon where the message was: more trust in God will solve your problems. 

God in the flesh doesn’t believe that…so why should I? 

I’m losing the thread here a bit so let me summarize. We’ve been so lost in our cultural message to strive and achieve and become self-reliant that we have turned this into theology. We believe God helps those who help themselves (a saying that is the most famous bible passage ever except it’s not a bible passage because it’s not actually in the bible because it’s actually horseshit). Yet- we’re taught that faithful people are rewarded and protected and sinful people are punished. And so we assume, if things aren’t going well, we must be getting punished and that we deserve it. 

So why would we ask for help? Under this theology, asking for help is basically like saying, “I am a sinner.” 

There are other things that get in the way of asking for help, of course, things beyond theology. Sometimes people tell me that they’ve grown weary of asking for help. They’ve learned through painful life experience that no one wants to help them and so they’ve learned not to ask because they just don’t want to be disappointed anymore. For someone in this situation, asking for help is akin to feeling isolated…because there is no one to help. 

And so…one wonders…what does the Bible say about being in need? About asking for help. Well…there are any number of passages we could point to (“ask and you shall receive”). But I always prefer to just look at an example of someone asking for help. Or, in this case, not asking, but begging, pleading, possibly crying and snotting all over himself. 

But me? I’m poor and needy.

    Hurry to me, God!

You are my helper and my deliverer.

    Oh, Lord, don’t delay!

~ Psalm 70:5

Can you imagine? This is from the Bible. This isn’t a self-sufficient person. This is a person in need of help…probably a lot of help!

Knowing that this kind of asking is biblical, how might this shape our understanding of some of the common messages we referenced above, such as: you have to be strong, you can’t show weakness, you have to be self-sufficient, you can’t rely on anyone else. Or else…or else what? Or else you’re a drain on your community or a drain on the system. You’re not worth your salt. 

Even a simple passage like this tells us that this is not God’s vision of humanity because begging for help is endorsed as a biblical method for talking to God. 

Consider some of the other thoroughly biblical messages we already know: Humans are made in God’s image. Beautiful and dearly loved simply because you exist. Simply because you were born. Simply because. 

You do not need to earn your worth. You do not need to pay your own way. You do not need to be strong and deserving to receive love. 

God’s love is given whether or not we ask. But asking for it is good for us. It is what allows us to rest into the fact that we are not mini-gods, capable of solving all our own problems. It is good to ask- it teaches us that we rely on things outside of ourselves in order to survive and thrive.

And- like this Psalm- we don’t even have to ask politely. You don’t have to ask like a good little boy or girl who sat perfectly still during worship next to your parents. You don’t need to use your indoor voice. 

You can shout and cry and beg and generally make a fool of yourself. Why? Because God will never see you as a fool. He’ll see you as a child who he’s excited to help because his love for you is just that profound.