Day 18: The Gift of Presence

One of the best gifts any of us could give or receive this year is the gift of presence - even if it requires us to be creative in making that happen. Spiritual friends learn how to set aside their own preoccupations and distractions. They listen, opening themselves up to the experiences of others. Mature spiritual friends have the awareness to attune themselves to the presence of God in the conversation as well. Soul companions learn how to give and receive dialogue. They consider conversation a sacred trust – cherishing, nurturing and holding the privilege as sacred.

I regret my youthful perspective when it came to my grandparents. As they aged, they were forced to make concessions in light of their declining health (which in my youth I could not understand). My grandmother bought a small, artificial tree. It was hideous, scantily clad with a stingy array of fake pine needles (dyed white) and a few miserly lights. It made Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree look like an award winner. I fussed and fussed about the tree. I told my grandmother in no uncertain terms that this particular tree was an affront to the meaning of Christmas.

Here’s what I wish I had known to do instead. I wish I had put down my childish ways and paid attention to what the tree was teaching me. My grandmother was getting tired. She was laying all earthly things aside. She hadn’t lost her Christmas Spirit, so much as she had learned that all the hoorah surrounding the commercialization of Christmas was meaningless. I could have learned a lot from her if I had listened better. My grandmother was getting to the essence of what is most important in life, not giving up the gift of Christmas cheer.

Again, when we know better, we do better.

I never thought my mother, the Queen of Christmas Cheer, would fall victim to the tabletop Christmas tree. But she did. When she started chortling about her clever way of throwing a sheet over that tiny tree and having Bob haul it to the basement for easy decorating the next Christmas, I knew this time what I was seeing. I applauded her ingenuity. I marveled at how those ornaments seemed to cooperate with the move up and down the stairs with Bob’s hurried steps. I knew in my gut that my mother was not well.

When we know better, we do better.

Christmas Eve

At 4 p.m. on Christmas Eve, our community will gather to remember that our wait is over. We light a fourth candle, we remember that Christ would come not only as a Son, but as Immanuel - God with us. So we will celebrate the birth of Jesus the Christ, the Good Shepherd, the forgiver of our sins, the Jesus who will come again, the Son of Mary and the Son of God!

In 1965 Charles Schulz and the Peanuts gang struggled with the commercialization of Christmas. Imagine what they would think today - when Christmas decorations were available for purchase in big box stores in August!!

Charlie Brown loses his way when he tries to direct his friends in their Christmas Pageant. In frustration he bursts out with, “Isn’t there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about!?!”

And Linus, dragging his security blanket onto center stage, stands alone and recites Luke 2:8-14 (we’re using the CEB):

8 Nearby shepherds were living in the fields, guarding their sheep at night. 9 The Lord’s angel stood before them, the Lord’s glory shone around them, and they were terrified.

10 The angel said, “Don’t be afraid! Look! I bring good news to you—wonderful, joyous news for all people. 11 Your savior is born today in David’s city. He is Christ the Lord. 12 This is a sign for you: you will find a newborn baby wrapped snugly and lying in a manger.” 13 Suddenly a great assembly of the heavenly forces was with the angel praising God. They said, 14 “Glory to God in heaven, and on earth peace among those whom he favors.”

CBS execs thought this was a mistake; but the viewers loved it. They needed to hear Linus’ answer even as they needed to wrestle with Charlie Brown’s question. Has that much changed? Oh sure, we have iPads and cell phones. We have more allergies and less fresh trees in our living rooms. But I think we need to consider both the question and the answer.

Who knows what Christmas is all about?

We know. We actually know. Especially if we have misbehaved, been beaten down, live on the margins, have griefs and losses. We know. We more than anyone who hasn’t known personal failures and bone shaking heartbreak that our baubles and beads cannot provide collective effervescence.

“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.” On Christmas Eve, we light a candle with joy and hope because of who God is. Not because we have lived up to our own expectations for happiness, success, and security. Amen

Lighting Candles

The third pink candle lit in the Advent tradition is intended to signify our excitement over the birth of a child, the son of Mary and the Son of God. The birth of a baby is always such a beautiful opportunity to witness a miracle. It astounds me when I consider that God’s plan for our salvation was such risky business. Babies are fragile; dependent; needy. Babies, although fully human and already possessing their personality and potential the day they are born, require the adults who love them to study them to learn how to best meet their needs. What if we miss? What if we are wrong as we seek to love our babies well?

How was it that God thought it was a good idea to put Jesus into the arms of a young, unwed woman from a humble town with few material resources? Why did this make sense to him? I am unsure, but it occurs to me that we need to remember it. We need to remember that the birth of Jesus was not a Hallmark movie moment.

It was a story that included hardship, loneliness, homelessness, and some weird gift giving by virtual strangers. As Jill Phillips sings, “It was not a silent night.”

Think about it.

The REAL Christmas story is closer to our lived realities than our idealized dreams. How can this change our own expectations? Our own responses to others during this sacred season?

Waiting for Forgiveness

If we go to church, the second Sunday of Advent (which was this past Sunday- December 9) finds us lighting another candle, also purple, reminding us of our great need for God’s forgiveness. Tradition says that Santa keeps a naughty and nice list of all the little girls and boys; that list determines whether or not Christmas morning will be cause for celebration or suffering. Even Santa understands that our behavior matters.

But what I really, really love, is that when we regularly spend time getting to know who God is, we do not have to freak out about our stuffed stockings. We understand that part of expecting, waiting and hoping is simply remembering: God forgives, loves and is crazy about his people. Like most moms and dads I know, he wants blessing for his children, not cursing. However, what we discover as parents is that our desires and our capacity to deliver are sometimes not congruent.

I know plenty of parents who curse their children too. I know parents who mock their children. I know parents who do the best they can but that doesn’t mean they have the tools, resources, and experience to actually BE great parents. This is a sad reality.

But that’s the beauty of Advent. It gives us hope. It tells us that just because we ARE sometimes a disappointment to ourselves doesn’t mean we cannot BECOME a person who better reflects our hopes and dreams for being a person who can bear the image of God and show up for others.

None of this happens by magic; it requires that we respond to this God who shepherds, saves, forgives, and restores.

The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine. Isaiah 9:2, NLT

We don’t need to manufacture sparkly; our work is to expect, wait, and hope. And in that space, I suspect we all find new ways to think, feel and do - ways that are more in keeping with our status as kids of THE king. What about you? Are you ready to look for the light?

Unbelief

When an angel appears to Zechariah in the temple, he tells him that his wife will give birth to a son, and the old man doesn’t believe the angel. Understandable right? If an angel appears to Pete and tells him that I am going to give birth to a son in our advanced age - heads are gonna roll! Zechariah’s response was not unreasonable. Because of his unbelief, Zechariah was given a timeout and was unable to speak until his boy was born. I suspect he thought that was the least of his problems.

During Zechariah’s encounter, and once he regains his voice, he expresses his renewed viewpoint, including a description of the times, saying that God’s people are “lost in darkness”. That’s not all he sees and says, he also says this, “God’s sunrise will break in upon us, shining on those in the darkness.” Further he says that God will “Show us the way, one foot at a time, down the path of peace.” If you want to read more, check out Luke 1.

Part of the ritual of Advent that I have loved as an adult is the lighting of a candle each Sunday of the Advent season. The first week the lighting of the purple candle focuses on taking our hope seriously. I love that. Hoping is not always happy. Sometimes it is a determined small but next right step of obedience.

Zechariah messed up AND still ended up with a son who would play a pivotal role in the ministry of Jesus. Have you or yours messed up so much that it feels impossible to enjoy Christmas this year? Fine. You do not have to. What you could do, if you were willing to believe, is look for ways to help others have a better holiday season. Who can you bless? Gift? Appreciate? Serve?